21 Binge-Watching Hacks For Your Garbage Lifestyle

Binge-watching hacks sound about as useful as “overdose tips and tricks.” I mean there’s not really any kind of human intelligence that goes into any kind of “binge.” But hey, they happen to the best of us. One of the healthiest forms of binge is that of the binge-watch. We’ve all done it. It’s like 11:45AM on a Saturday and you’re contemplating who to text or if you even want to go out.

So you remember that Netflix show you’ve heard everyone talking about and figure that you might be able to talk about it with someone you meet that night. Cut to 1:37 AM and you’re bawling because your favorite character died.

You haven’t showered, you have over 20 unanswered texts, and you forgot you were supposed to be dog sitting. Well here are some binge-watching hacks and tips on how to binge responsibly and intelligently.

Even if you’re not a huge binge-watcher, a lot of these Netflix tips are things that most people don’t know.

Go Shopping Before You Start

You’re a sack of garbage as soon as you start binge-watching something. You’re not going to leave the house for two days, three if you’re unemployed. So grab some food before you start.

You’re a human being, technically, so maybe get some fruit or something you can heat up during the end credits.

Get Netflix To Stop Asking If You’re Still Watching

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Flix Assist is a Chrome extension that not only gets Netflix to ask if you’re still watching, but gets rid of the timer that counts down to the next episode. This is like if they replaced bar tenders with whiskey hoses. People would be dead in the street.

It works intermittently but is worth a try.

Binge In Secret

If you want to binge-cheat on your partner while they’re away, you can. It’s not OK, but here’s how to do it: Go here. It’s your viewing history. It’s just like your browser history. Delete strategically while contemplating hell.

Wash Your Damn Sheets

It’s going to get pretty gross after a while. You’re going to sweat all over your throw, or if you’re in bed your sheets will become a cavernous wasteland of your own filth.

So maybe wash everything so that you smell nice at least for a little while. Pretend like you’re going to be found dead.