Dating Life Relationships

Here’s Why You’re Not Matching With Anyone on Dating Apps

Here’s Why You’re Not Matching With Anyone on Dating Apps May 21, 2019Leave a comment

Dating apps are hugely popular. But what happens when you sign up is really up to you. A lot of people seem to think that dating apps don't work. But it's usually human behavior, not the apps, that makes the difference between going on a hot date and staying single forever...

You Don’t Have a Bio


No matter what dating app you use, you need a good bio. People aren’t mind readers. You don’t need to write an autobiography, but you do need to write something about yourself, what you're looking for, and what you're all about. Just steer clear from heavy topics like politics and religion.

Your Profile Is Ugly

Instagram: @cherrielynn

Your profile photo is the first thing potential matches will see, so if you post a blurry and unattractive photo, people will ignore you. While you’re at it, be mindful of bad angles or filters that make it tough to see you. This isn't the time to be artistic and abstract.

Your Profile Is Inappropriate

Instagram: @kennylkemp

Your pictures could be off-putting if they're too risque. If you're looking for an easy hookup, pics like that could work in your favor. But keep in mind that a lot of people will find that approach intimidating and may simply skip your profile altogether. Keep your profile photo G-rated.

You Haven’t Been Keeping up With the Competition


When you started off, you had a pretty decent profile, and that worked for a while. But lately you haven't had much luck. If you’ve been using the same tired photos from five (or 10) years ago, it's time to boost your odds in the dating game by checking out what your (successful) peers are doing. You might not be standing out if these dating apps are packed with interesting travel pics, action shots and high-quality headshots.

There Aren’t Enough Women on Some Apps

Instagram: @kennylkemp

This one’s exclusive for the guys: In 2015, an unofficial report came out that showed only 38% of Tinder users are women, which means the odds of finding someone who will swipe right with you are even less. It’s why a great profile and bio are so important. But what you do after you match with someone is just as important...

You Sabotaged Your Elo Score


Some dating apps like Tinder keep an Elo or desirability score. This is determined by the app’s algorithm, which uses image and text recognition software to bring your closer to your match. But if your profile and bio aren’t right, the algorithm won’t show your profile to enough people, possibly ruining your odds at a possible match.

You’re Too Darn Picky

Instagram: @courtneydeberti

You’ve been skipping people on Bumble, swiping left on Tinder, or passing on Hinge because you’re just way too picky. You’re not going to find the man or woman of your dreams that easily, so consider lowering your standards a bit. Plus, people are really bad at taking pictures of themselves, so make it a point to meet them face to face. You might be surprised to learn that attractive folks can take a crappy photo too.

You’re Not Trying Hard Enough


Don’t expect dating apps to do all the work for you. Don’t just swipe left or right, or scroll a few times and expect to get a match. You need to start a conversation with your matches and actually keep up with them. Many people seem to forget that people want to get a sense of who you are before they meet up with you face to face. So put some effort into the messages you’re sending to your matches.

A Simple Hi Won’t Cut It

Instagram: @couplesndmood

You want to land a date not introduce yourself like it’s the first day of class. So “Hi” and emojis are a huge no-no. Connect with people by asking them about something you saw on their bio or crack a nice clean joke. And for the love of all things unholy, read your potential matches' bios. It'll actually save you from wasting your time, (and theirs) if the person isn't looking for the same things you are.

You're a Bit Inappropriate


Guys should completely refrain from straight up addressing a girl with a, “hey beautiful,” “hey sexy” and “you’re so hot” It limits the conversation. Unless she explicitly wrote that she’s looking for a quick hookup, try to talk to them like a regular human being. Humor goes a long way, too. Flirt, but don’t be too direct. What are the chances someone will want to meet up with you if all you did is send a few eggplant emojis? Test the waters first by cracking a joke or asking an interesting question and wait until you see them in person to see if there’s chemistry.

Don’t Make Your “First Date” a First Date

Instagram: @anckor

Don’t treat the first date like it’s a cotillion or Cinderella’s ball. Instead of going on a first date, take the pressure away by asking your match if they want to go for a quick coffee chat. You could even get your match to join you and your buddies at a bar, and tell him or her to bring their own friends along. If there’s no pressure, there’s a chance everyone will have fun and you’ll get to meet your potential match in a no-strings-attached type of scenario. That way, neither of you will feel the typical pressures of an awkward first date.

You’re Looking for Something Specific

Instagram: @jacobelordi

If you’re looking to match with a specific type of person, then you might need to be super up front in your bio. Maybe you just want to date vegans, Trekkies, or someone who's into open relationships. Knowing what you want is perfectly fine, but keep in mind that if you filter your options to something too narrow, your odds of matching will decrease.

You’re Being Way Too Creepy


When you add tons of innuendos in your bio, you’re coming off like a total creep with only one thing on your mind. This will turn people off, even those who are only looking to hook up. Tone down the explicit language until you actually get to know your match.

Meeting Face to Face Is a Low Priority


You can heart each other on Happn or like someone’s profile on Hinge, but these apps can only take you so far. If you want to see if sparks truly fly, you need to meet face to face. There's no way around it. If this is a low priority for you, then you’ll never match in the real world.

Your Username Might Turn Someone Off


If your username is “ItStinksDownThere” or “TedBundyFan” or a really dark joke, you can swipe right till your finger goes numb, but it won't get you anywhere. Your username should be enticing and fun, not horrifying and creepy.

You Only Post Your Height


Dudes tend to do this a lot more than girls, but seriously, is your height all you've got to offer? Girls like tall guys, but if that’s all you wrote on your bio, then you need to go back and edit that section ASAP. You may be tall, but you'll only seem like the most boring tall guy on the planet.

You Don’t Have Enough Photos


On dating apps like OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble and Happn, try adding at least five photos, preferably where you’re smiling and doing fun things. It'll make you come off as approachable and friendly. Remember, people judge you by your photos. The less you have representing you, the less likely they are to swipe right.

Your First Photo Wasn’t Your Face

Instagram: @kimberlibri

The first photo should always be a headshot. People want to see what you look like. Don’t post a photo where you're standing far away from the camera either. The scenery might be nice, but people want to see you. No one's trying to date a landscape. And they won’t waste their time on blurry images or photos where you’re a speck of dust in the distance.

You Didn’t Post Full Body Photos

Instagram: @jannaaaeeee

We’re all a little self-conscious about our figure, but it’s better to be honest from the start. Don’t be shy about posting full body photos. You don’t want to hide those extra pounds from your match just because all your photos are from the neck up.

You Have Too Many Pictures of the Opposite Sex


If you’re a guy, you don’t want to post photos where you’re hanging with a bunch of attractive women. The same goes for women posting photos with hot guys. You might think you’re coming off as desirable, but your potential match might think you’re just lame.

You Waited Too Long


Don't wait for weeks to meet face to face or to talk on the phone. If you've been exchanging messages for more than a week or two, then you waited too long.  Eventually, your conversations will grow stale. It's time to meet in person and chat in the real world.

You Talked Too Much on the Phone

Instagram: @christinamacpherson

Talking on the phone is like a knock on the door. But make sure you don’t overdo it. If you tell each other everything you’ll ruin the mystery and your first date will be more boring than a “Star Wars” marathon.

You Kept a Backlog of Matches

Instagram: @christinamacpherson

Keep your dating app inbox clean. There’s no point in keeping a backlog of matches like it’s a game. It will clog up your account and keep you from seeing the messages from matches you’re chatting with.

Don’t Talk About Drama

Instagram: @joliejanine

Oops, you’ve been ranted and vented like you were in a therapy session and now your match feels overwhelmed. Keep the drama away from your chats and face-to-face convos. Take it slow.