I Feel Horrible About It

I had an abortion a couple of years ago. The guy was a horrible boyfriend, so I didn’t think twice. Now I’m in a wonderful relationship, and I’m thinking about marrying this guy in the future, and we talk about having kids. I don’t have the heart to tell him that if we do end up together, our first kid won’t be my first pregnancy. I feel like if I told him, he’d hate me and wouldn’t think it’d be as special. It’s something that I’ll take to my grave. Nobody knows except for me and the guy I was dating at the time.