For the Love of Sharts
I was in high school at the time when I went out with this guy I really liked. I happened to be super gassy at the time and I knew if I didn’t at least fart, I’d be miserable for the rest of the night.
I excused myself to the bathroom and let one out on the way. It wasn’t just a fart. I sharted myself right in front of the door. I turned back around, said “screw it” and told my date I had to go, butt cheeks clenched and all. We never went out again.