#32 If This Wasn’t A Fever Dream, I’m Worried About This Kid
My first floor had some very interesting characters on it, but none more so than Owen. My sweet, sweet Owen. One Tuesday in February, I was sliding under my covers after a late night of studying at around 1 a.m. when I heard some music blaring from the end of the hallway. There was a bathroom at the end of the hall, so I figured it was the usual—someone listening to music too loudly while they showered.
So, reluctantly, I put my RA shirt on and sleepily moseyed my way to the bathroom. Now, on the way there, I passed the communal lounge area, and the doors were both closed. This was both against the rules and just sort of odd, so I opened the first door I came to. As I swung it open, I made eye contact with a freshman from a different floor, just sitting naked on the communal couch.
His look of horror is forever burned into my mind. I closed the door back up and continued on. So there I was: at the bathroom door, half-asleep, and still shook up from my run-in with that random nudist. The music was still blasting. It was “Love Train” by the O’Jays. I knew I’d be dealing with Owen based on the song choice alone. With a sigh, I pushed the door open. It was pitch black. The lights aren’t supposed to be off. It was also freezing.
The window was wide open and it was about 4ºF on this particular night. Every shower and faucet was turned on full blast, making the entire room thick with steam. The toilets all seemed to be flushing at once. A figure was in front of me, running between the stalls and howling like one of those monkeys. This was more than I bargained for. I flicked the lights on. Owen stood before me, mostly naked. I asked him why he turned all of the lights off.
“Oh don’t worry, I just do this sometimes. You can ask my roommate!” That didn’t make me feel any better! I woke up the next morning convinced that the entire sequence of events was some weird fever dream. I only know it wasn’t because Owen’s roommate brought it up the next day. “Hey, I heard about last night, Owen wanted me to tell you that yes, he just does that sometimes.” Oh! Mystery solved.
Credit: LinksLeftDekuNut