#41 That’s A Pretty Big Sacrifice To Shut That Kid Up
On our floor, we had this kid who would ask questions about everything. EVERYTHING. But not just how or why stuff, things like:
“Should I do this paper or that one first?”
“Blue or black pen?”
“Do they care about cursive?”
“What should I get for dinner?”
“What time should I set my alarm?”
“Should I have a backup alarm?”
“Should my clock or phone be the primary alarm?”
“Which alarm sound should I use?”
EVERYTHING. I realize some of my examples are pretty reasonable things on their own, but it seemed like half of his decisions were made for him by other people. Anyway, everyone went out one night and he got plastered. He and a few others were making their way back to the dorms and had to pass the night security desk.
Meanwhile, I was up in my room getting a craving for a candy bar, so I hopped into the elevator. They signed in and everything was good. Then, he saw a couple of cops. He walked up to them and asked, “Am I too tipsy right now? Will I be allowed back to my ro-huuUUUURRRRKKBLLEEEAAAUUUUUUGGHHH“ and then the torrent of puke issued forth from his mouth.
Credit: 1000Punches