A Case of Colitis
I was cruising in my police SUV when a vehicle sped past me. I pulled him over and addressed the situation. He claimed to have colitis and desperately needed to use the bathroom. Thinking he was lying, I told him to go right now in the ditch, near us.
He leapt at the offer and immediately pulled down his pants. He coughed and his butt unleashed the most horrible contents and smells I have ever seen. I went pale and let him go.