Jumping to Conclusions
One of my coworkers thought he was about to be fired, so after a few days of thinking about it, he marched into the manager’s office and proceeded to insult him for any and everything you could imagine. He finished off by telling the manager that he could go to hell for wanting to fire him.
The manager, completely in shock, said he never wanted to fire the guy. The guy paused, grinned sheepishly, then said, “well, can I stay?” The manager, now furious, said, “get the hell out.”