Some couples never make it to the wedding chapel because of all the hardships they had to through. It's important to be able to see beyond each other's flaws and find the bright side of heartbreak if you want to keep your relationship going, but we're not here to offer you relationship advise.
We're here to take pleasure in the humiliatingly stupid mistakes that almost ruined people's chances at ever finding love. After almost being doomed to a lifetime of being alone due to their antics, the couples in these tales eventually find one other and patch things up.
43. Taking His Time
My uncle didn’t call his now-wife for over a year after they first met and he got her number. He kept the paper she wrote it on and ended up finding it and calling her asking if she still remembered him and was still interested in going on a date.
42. We'll Walk Through This City Together
While on a date with my now-wife, I insisted that everything in San Francisco was walking distance from everything else, and decided we should walk from Pier 39 to Golden Gate Park. It IS walkable, but not third-date walkable, or whatever-shoes-she-happened-to-be-wearing-that-day walkable. There were tears. We’re still together.
41. He's a Polite Drunk
For our second date I had invited her out with myself and some friends to celebrate a friend getting a job. I drank. Heavily. She was my designated driver. She drove me home and as she pulled up to the curb I threw open the door, rolled out of the car, and vomited into the gutter. She then offered to help me cross the street, to which I responded by yelling, “I’M DISGUSTING!” and sprinting across the street. Once inside, I brushed my teeth aggressively. She asked what I was doing and I told her I needed to clean my mouth so I could kiss her. After I was done, I walked to my room, laid down, and immediately fell asleep. She spent the night to make sure I was okay.
I’m now holding our baby girl who was born just last week. I asked her at one point why she stayed with me through that and she said it was because even though I was wasted, the whole time I was still gentle and kind, asked her if she was having fun, and introduced her to everyone I knew. I’m a lucky guy.
40. Dude, Where's My Car?
We drank a lot on our second date, Ubered home. Next day went back to get his car, and it wasn’t there. He was so devastated. He just bought it recently and it was stolen. We filed a police report. Took forever and just generally sucked. We walked to his friend’s house nearby, and there was his car, perfectly un-stolen. He drank so much he forgot he moved it before our date. Now, once in a while when we’re trying to find our car in the grocery store parking lot or wherever, one of us will say “It’s stolen. Call the police.”
39. He Changed Her Life Forever In That Moment
I flicked a dime at her head. We were playing table football. Not sure what I was thinking. She has a scar. I kiss it every night before we go to bed. We are married and have three kids.
38. The Perfect Proposal Needs No Words
When I kneeled to propose I landed on a sharp rock and we had to go to the ER because it lodged in my kneecap. My wife’s favorite detail about this story: because of the kneecap situation, I forgot to actually ask. She thought I got nervous and froze up and decided to save me by just saying yes. She also stopped me from pulling the rock out of my kneecap with my trusty leatherman which turned out to be the correct decision. She was a little bummed that I wasn’t simply choked with emotion, but the situation as a whole is (now) a very fond memory.
37. What a Gentleman
She was about to sneeze and she was sitting half on my lap so I kinda thought she was gonna sneeze on me and I don’t know what I was thinking but I put my hand up to block her sneeze except I had a glass in my hand and I blocked her own hand from covering her sneeze and instead she slammed her face into my glass.
Married 6 years now. She still has all her teeth.
36. Misplaced Enthusiasm
I once spear-tackled my then-girlfriend out of misplaced enthusiasm in high school. I was excited to see her and handled it as badly as was possible. It was in front of a bunch of our friends and I ended up knocking the wind out of her and making her cry. That was about 17 years ago, and we’re still together.
I also licked my plate at a fancy restaurant because the salad dressing was so good. She still brings that one up every few years.
35. I'll Pay You Back Someday
On our first dinner date, my husband ordered a ton of food to show me his favorites at an Indian restaurant – and forgot his wallet at home, and only discovered doing so when the check had arrived.
Cleared me out well over a hundred bucks and he was absolutely mortified, but we’ve been married for near two years so I guess it worked out.
34. Sock It To Her
I was sitting on the couch as we were playing Wii bowling. She was standing behind the couch, lovingly holding me. I draw back the Wii mote and WHAM! I wack her in the face with the Wii mote at full strength. Her mom was also in the room.
33. Brain Fart
We were taking a shower together and she was soaping up while I was under the hot water rinsing off and she slipped and instead of grabbing/helping her I pulled away, thinking for some reason that I’d already rinsed off and didn’t want to get soapy. Thank god she caught herself on the shower curtain and didn’t get hurt. She was, uh, not happy. My explanation of my faulty thinking didn’t help at all, either. We laugh about it now but it took some serious smoothing over at the time.
32. Dining In
I made myself a burger for dinner before heading over to her place to hang out. Unfortunately I’m not the best cook and left a little too much pink in that burger. While we were at her house I bet her I could fit through the doggy door and crawled right through. Then she immediately closed it behind me and we raced to the front door, she won and she locked it. Now at this exact moment my bowels decided they had enough of that burger from earlier and I felt my stomach cramp. Luckily I held it all in and ran back to the back door with my cheeks clenched and starting knocking desperately in the door. She was laughing at first but when she saw my face go suddenly serious and I said very calmly “I need you to open the door…. Now please.” She unlocked the door and asked if I was okay, I told her to stay downstairs and turn the TV up loud. She agreed but was very confused. So I ran upstairs and then had one of the most violent bowel movements of my whole life. I thought the worst was behind me until I went to wipe…. And of course no TP. So she took my instructions really well and when I yelled to her, texted her, and called her I got no answer. After probably like 10 missed calls she finally answered and I asked her to bring me some TP and leave outside the door and try not to breathe on the way upstairs. She was great about it and immediately started making fun of me when I came back downstairs. Now quite a few years later a couple kids and cat, she’s still making fun of me.
31. Maybe She Should've Ran
When we were dating, my husband and I were holding hands when he had to cough. Instead of letting go of my hand and covering his mouth, he continued to hold on, brought it up to his mouth and coughed into my hand.
It was a dry cough. If it was anything more I would have run.
30. Easy Going Love
We were making out in her dorm, I was on top and I had an accident in my pants.
We had come back from class, her dorm was right next to the school so we walked over. Started as studying and then turned into kissing. Once we were horizontal, I felt a shift in my guts. I took a chance; most of my gas that day had been dry and silent so it felt safe. As soon as I let it go, I knew I was in trouble. As I stood up, she repulsively sniffed the air. She asked if I let one rip. I simply said I pooped myself and needed a ride home. We went to the movies as planned afterwards.
Pretty sure that’s when I fell in love.
29. I Just Can't Hold It In
I know what my husband would say, because I still tease him to this day.
We had been dating for two weeks and were spooning on his futon, watching a movie. Out of nowhere he says, “I’m really sorry, I can’t hold it in anymore.” And rips a HUGE fart.
My husband was a very clean, tight knit, prudish kind of guy, so I couldn’t help but let out the biggest laugh while he turned about as red as his beard.
28. Staring Her Down
The night I met my husband, he stared at me while I was sleeping. For 4 hours straight. It’s been 3 years. He still stares at me until I scold him for it. Then he waits until he thinks I won’t notice and starts staring again.
I love him to the moon and back, even though he’d probably stare at me the entire trip.
27. One Person's Blunder Is Another Person's Romance
First date with my wife. End of the night I went to kiss her on the cheek trying to be all sweet.
She thought I was leaning in for a hug and leaned in too. As she leaned in I turned my head and instead of her cheek I kissed her neck. Turned super red and embarrassed then goodbye and almost pushed her out of the door at my apartment. I immediately texted her sorry as well and she laughed.
Three years into marriage she apparently didn’t care.
26. Don't Bring It Up Again
Wife here, but about three weeks into dating, my husband invited me to a house party at his best friend’s place. We were playing beer pong having fun. The other team is up, they toss the ball, I lean forward to try to block it, my now husband extends his hand out in front of me at the same time, catching the ball but at the same time hitting me in the eye and some how pulling out 3/4 of my eyelashes. He felt terrible about it and tried to burn off his eyelashes in sympathy. He hates when I bring it up but I think it is the funniest story!
25. Let's Get Matching Tattoos
On my first date with my wife, we got to talking about tattoos. I have a rule that if I have an idea for a tattoo, I sit on it for a while to see if I really would still want it. I mentioned this to her and explained how glad I am that I do this because otherwise I’d be covered in Tool (the band) tattoos or some “other stupid stuff”. She rolled up her sleeve to show me that she had the lyrics to one of their songs tattooed across her arm.
For the record, I don’t really hate Tool. I just used to be super into them in high school and have since grown out of them. I still put them on once in a while, and she forgave me.
24. Always Speak Your Mind
It wasn’t until after we were married that my wife told me that I almost didn’t get a second date because I talked waaaaaaaaaaaay too much during the movie. I don’t really remember it but apparently I was leaning over every 30 seconds or so to tell her what I was thinking. Also, “Valkyrie” with Tom Cruise probably wasn’t that great of a date movie, but it all worked out in the end.
23. At Least Learn My Name
My husband kept calling me by the name of his previous girl friend on our first date. I finally told him to give her a call because they clearly had unfinished business to talk about. He did and she reminded him why he was happy to have her out of his life. And he never called me by her name again. 40 years later and it seems to have worked out in my favor.
22. Carrying a Long Grudge
In college I got a pretty severe bronchial infection. I had a fever of 103 and felt pretty useless. My boyfriend (now husband of 12 years) says he is going to go rent some movies from blockbuster and come back so we can just chill for the weekend while I’m resting. Blockbuster was a 5 minute drive from our apartment. An hour goes by and he’s not back. I call his cell phone and he doesn’t answer. Another hour goes by and I call again, no answer. Two more hours go by, I’m blowing up his cell phone and terrified that he got in an accident and I have no way of going out to look for him. An hour later (5 hours after he left) he calls me and says he’s on his way home. He went to a friend’s house to help him rebuild the engine in his car. It took a long a long time for me to not be mad at him. And I still get mad thinking about it.
21. Where'd You Go?
I moved from North America to Europe 12 years ago to be with my then boyfriend (now husband). I had been in the country for about 2 weeks when he simply didn’t come home one night. His phone was off, no note, no e-mail… it was awful!! I was so terrified!
Turns out he had a work trip to another country planned long before I moved in, and he forgot to tell me. He wasn’t used to living with someone and being accountable for his whereabouts.
The next time he pulled a disappearing act was 5-6 years later. I got angry, thinking he had simply not told me where he was. It turns out that he had gotten hit by a car while bicycling home from work. He was in the hospital, but because he was conscious and in no danger, no one called his emergency contact.
Yeah, communication is not his strong point.
20. She Sees Past My Flaws
Our first kiss is the one that sticks out in my mind. We kissed and right as we kiss some air moves in my throat, sounded like a burp but it wasn’t. It seemed like I burped right into her mouth and I was mortified. She now knows it wasn’t a burp, but at the time…not so much.
I’m such a lucky fool and had some big blunders early while learning who I am and who she is. I’m lucky someone so wonderful saw past the stupid young person I was.
19. Blind Love
Very first time my boyfriend stayed at my house (after about three hours of my two male roommates trying to make him uncomfortable), we went to bed and he put his contacts in two shot glasses of water because he had no case with him. I don’t know if that’s a dumb thing to do. I’ve never worn them. Maybe we were drinking and that seemed like a good idea? Anyways… he had never had a pet and was kind of weirded out by my cat standing beside him and yell-meowing at him all night (“Is that normal? Is he mad at me or something?”). Woke up the next day to find out the cat drank all the water from the shot glasses, contacts included. I had to help him home because he is seriously blind without them. He still wanted to see me again even though the night was weird, and the cat became his best friend, despite some initial skepticism on both their parts.
18. A Little Too Comfortable Around Each Other
Transitioning from that uncomfortable to the comfortable phase. I was sitting across the room while she did homework. I farted pretty loudly and she looked me in the eyes and fired back. Luckily I had another in the chamber and asserted my dominance, to my surprise which she matched for a second time, but even louder. Having this all happen in a span of ~2 seconds and thinking it was pretty funny, I tried to top her by forcing one more out to reign supreme. Well…. let’s just say it wasn’t a fart I forced out…. one of her favorite stories to tell close friends and family. We’ve been married for going on 4 years though, so l guess it all worked out for me.
17. Mutual Stalkers
My dad stalked my mom. They worked at a buisness together and he had a huge crush on her. He would sniff her coat when no one was looking, eavesdrop on conversations to learn what she liked and stare at her constantly while she worked at her desk. It worked out of course, because plot twist my mom stalked him right back, having on seperate occasions followed him home and try to find out places he liked to hang out. They have been married for almost thirty-five years and they are the happiest couple I know.
16. New In Town
I was working for Starbucks, my now-girlfriend was a customer. I was new in town and noticed her a couple times, she was a regular customer and we got to some small talk, chatting about places to eat. She said there’s an amazing taco place down the road, we should go sometime. I misheard her, thinking she said “you should go sometime”. I replied with “I’ll definitely check it out!” I handed her a drink and she left very awkwardly.
She was back in the next day and, against all odds, I was able to clear up the misunderstanding and I wrote my number on her Starbucks cup. We went to that taco place for our first date and she was right, it was amazing.
3 years married and 2 kids later… Really glad she saw through my awkwardness.
15. Planning Ahead
My husband told me on our first date, “Just so you know, if we ever have a son, he needs to be named after me. I’m the fifth and I could never break the tradition.”
I thought it was a suuuuuuper weird thing to say on a first date, but thankfully I decided to overlook that red flag. 14 years later and our son, named after him, just turned 3.
12. Bless You
When I was 19 I had dated my husband for maybe less than a year. We were driving out to a date in the car and he was holding my hand in his hand in my lap when I felt the urge to sneeze. In that moment I didn’t think to let go. Rather I was so in love and saw this soul so much as my own that I sneezed a whole wet gooey sneeze onto his hand in my lap. But after, I swear I was truly mortified in that moment I thought we were through. He only looked at me and smiled like his hand was obviously my hand to sneeze into. Is that not love? If it’s wrong, I don’t wanna be right.
11. He's Too Competitive
I was at my girlfriend’s house for a family cookout and everyone got together for a game of backyard touch football. Needless to say, it was probably a bad idea because any sport I ever play, I’m extremely competitive. Her father led her with a pass & I was playing linebacker, going after any mid-long passes. Well I ran straight towards her to knock the ball away and we ran into each other but I pretty much shouldered her to the ground, not meaning too. I didn’t really even feel it other than the hit itself, she was on the ground with the breath knocked out of her. Her dad wasn’t happy but he didn’t say anything bc he could tell it was an accident. Later that night, after she recouped and we were cuddling, I apologized, kissed her on the forehead and then said “You have to admit though, that was a perfect play…” I dialed it back in group games after that.
10. We Met Online
My husband and I met playing an online game. After 1 year of an online relationship, he went to my country to meet in real life and hopefully take me back with him to his country. We stayed together, and the second day we decided it was time for him to meet my mom, so I call her, and invited her to this nice restaurant that was 2 blocks from where we were staying. Everything was good, we ordered a salad, and while talking to my mom, husband brings the plate to his lips and drinks all the tomato juice + dressing from the plate. I was mortified, and knowing my mom is a very correct lady, I thought she was going to hate him. 6 years later, I still tease my husband about that, but my mom adores him.
9. The Finer Things In Life
I played Weird Al CDs non-stop for a 6-hour car trip to the beach. She didn’t ditch me but I haven’t been allowed to play Weird Al in her presence for the past 24 years. She gave me tickets to see him this year on our anniversary and knew better than to ask her to join me so I took a couple of my kids that appreciate the finer things in life. Best anniversary gift ever. Great show.
8. Bold Move
On probably our third or fourth date, at a restaurant, my man mixed our soups. I got a watermelon gazpacho (a cold soup) and he got a seafood bisque. I’m a sharer so we both tasted and didn’t love mine but we loved his. After the tasting, he boldly yet nervously states, “Mine is so great; let’s do this,” while pouring our two soups into one. It was the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. Five years later and weve never mixed soups again…too risky.
7. Brave Move
When my husband and I we we were leaving his new apartment. Keep in mind we’ve been dating for a short amount of time. We haven’t been through a lot of firsts yet. His apartment was on the back of the building so we had to walk through a small passage to get to the other side in order to leave. Imagine this passage is slightly shadowed but the light shoots through it so it creates this romantic silhouette. As we left his apartment and walked into this passage area he grabs my hand and pulls me towards himself (I’m thinking awe he is going to put my hand around his waist, how romantic!), locks my hand on his butt and loudly farts. It was a very brave move for a new couple.
We’ve been married for 13 years now.
6. She Was Crazy Enough to Stay
Not my story, but my parents: My dad has a brother who’s only a couple years older. Growing up, they’d commonly try to steal food off each other’s plates just to be jerks to each other. This was remedied by plate guarding and defensive maneuvers with utensils if hands got too close.
On my parent’s first date, my mom reached for something to try off my dad’s plate and he instinctively stabbed her hand with his fork – drew blood and everything. He was obviously mortified. Glad my mom was crazy enough to keep dating, marry, and procreate with the fork stabber.
5. She Didn't Bat An Eye
This happened the day after our second date. I was in a bad financial situation, my power got turned off and I was distraught. She came over, brought takeout, we ate dinner, hung out and just talked until it was too dark to see, then we went to bed. Mind you, this bed was a cobbled together full size mattress resting on a queen frame/box, and she didn’t bat an eye. Not once has she cared about what I had, only who I am. Been married since March.
4. The Polite Thing To Do
One time at a drive thru, my husband suddenly had to sneeze but didn’t want to sneeze onto the Tim Hortons employee so he turned away.
Towards me. Onto my unsuspecting face. I took the full hit. All of it. In my eyes. My mouth. The drive thru employee laughed… I didn’t.
3. The Best Gift He Could Give Her
On our second date, I arrived 1h late. When I went to greet her with a little hug (yep, that’s how we greet people around here) I accidentally knocked her phone off her hand. It hit the ground and cracked the screen, but I wasn’t sure if it was already cracked. I apologized, she said it was ok and that the screen was already like that before.
Almost a year later she confessed that I actually broke her phone that day. She had just gotten it from her mom (all phones she ever had were second hand, very simple ones) and she couldn’t afford a new one at the time, but still she lied and kept using the broken phone so I wouldn’t feel bad. My heart sank.
We’ve been married for two years now and I’ve given her a brand new flagship phone every year ever since.
2. At Least She Said Yes
Wife was a devout animal lover and activist. Planned a proposal at a fancy Tokyo restaurant that only takes 3 tables a night and has 11 courses, which was filled with all sorts of innovative things so you’re never quite sure what’s coming next.
In between one of the courses the chef brings out a cute little glass bowl for us to play with some squid. The chef informs us these are firefly squid that are local to the bay. My wife is delighted and practically named them.
Two courses later they reappeared… as entrees, floating on a glass plate lit up from below and arranged to look like they’re swimming.
She still said yes but have never let me forgot that I took her on literally the worst dining experience she had, and I had paid the most ever for.
1. Good Choice
This is how I met my fiancée. In my early 30s I was working a lot of contract gigs and was in a major city for a couple more months on a job but was dealing with a serious issue that really drove me nutty one Friday night. I ended up getting into my liquor cabinet at the apartment in a big way and as a serious drinker that took a lot of doing.
Some point during the night I decided it was a good idea to go out and see the city even though I was seeing double… so I called a car and that’s what I did. I landed at a bar in the ‘cool’ part of town and proceeded to keep it going, more drinks all night until I see the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever met in my life at the end of the bar. Liquored up and feeling recovered from my professional issues from earlier in the day I decide to go introduce myself, and as a (formerly) handsome, young professional black dude in a relatively progressive city I figured it was a total lock; except I neglected to account for the fact that I was utterly hammered.
The crux of this is that we were talking for about 2-3 hours until the bar closed but every time she left to go to the bathroom it seemed like she came back way too fast. I figured I was drinking too much until I realized I was simultaneously hitting on two different women who just happened to be friends, and very nice blondes and have basically nothing else in common. I came to find out later that my lovely fiancee called dibs really early on in this interaction for some reason; I guess she just had a thing for sloppy morons.
At a certain point I (according to her) started giving off the vibe that I was never going to get back to my apartment alone successfully, so my (now) better half made the very ballsy move of deciding to get me home safely. I handed her my wallet to pay our bar tabs and gave her my address and even 10 years later don’t remember much else from that night besides the sound of her feeding my cat for me, and her hair falling across my face when I passed out. According to her I rambled in the taxi ride home about how I was going to make her brunch when I got up, that I was going to be pretty good in bed but probably not because I was wasted and to not be thrown by my cat because he doesn’t like anyone, ever; then passed out once I got in the door.
I woke up to a skull-splitting hangover headache, a glass of water on my nightstand and an empty bed; my bruised brain pieced together that there was a woman in my house when I went to sleep and figured she left and I missed out on getting to know someone pretty cool. I walked out to my living room and found her on my sofa petting my cat snuggled up in her lap; a sight so stunning it made my headache worse while I processed it- he literally didn’t like anyone but me, and hisses and bites pretty much anyone that tries to touch him besides me; but is a super cuddly dude for me- and here she is like he’s just some normal kitten. She’s watching TV and sipping a bloody mary she prepped from my bar and smiled at me like we were old friends. She said through her smile, “You owe me brunch.”
We had brunch and spent the next two days straight in bed together, after a month we had only spent about a grand total of 4 nights apart, and after 2 months we’d moved in together and have been together ever since; in upwards of 7 different states and god knows how many moves because of our respective careers, and she’s my best friend in the whole world.