Aloe Vera Leaf
Aloe Vera: nectar of the gods, aid to those with gnarly tribal tattoo rashes. I once had a tattoo of Super Mario, a duck, a bottle of Soylent, and a tumblr hyperlink. One day later, it burned so much thart I almost cried at my company ping-pong competition, but I was soon gifted a leaf of aloe vera from a lady friend, and I cut the leaf with my bare hands and smeared it over my tattoos. Thank goodness for paid time off, cause that was a terrible idea.