#20 Too Bad Pizza Didn’t Get There Earlier
At the mouth of Provo Canyon, on the way down from Sundance and Heber City, UT, there was a compound that housed a school for teenagers who rebelled. These were kids who screwed up big time, and their Mormon parents sent them from all over the country to get “fixed” I’d have to deliver there about once a month.
Parents would feel guilty and send their kid a pizza, which they typically paid for with a credit card. The kids, hating their parents, would often put like a $50 tip onto a $15 pizza. After a while, the store manager made it a rule that any tip had to be approved by the parents placing the order because he’d gotten too many irate parents call in about their kids’ smart-aleck tips.
Anyway, you had to get buzzed into the main room through a set of double security doors. The guys that worked there were all like, 6’2″, 250 pounds, and ripped. One time, I went in with like, ten pizzas for the entire group, and one of the guys said, “ALL OF YOU STEP AWAY FROM THE DOOR!” He looked at me and told me to approach.
The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. All of a sudden, three of the kids attacked the dude. The dude was some kind of a Chuck Norris prodigy. They took swings at him with objects from the room and he just blocked them with his arms until he could punch back. Then, he dropped all three of them with shots to the chest, hitting them so hard that they couldn’t breathe anymore.
I stood there and blinked while he restored calm, telling them, “We didn’t need this, guys,” and “I don’t like doing this, but you attacked me. I’m here to help you, but if you use violence to get what you want, you’ll have a very tough time here. I’m choosing to not call the police over this.” I got out of there as fast as I could.
Credit: wuapinmon