Epic Stories That Prove That Revenge Isn’t Always Sweet

It's hard to teach someone a lesson without getting caught, but these people proved that it can be satisfying to wait for the perfect moment to strike. These real life stories were told by the people who got sweet revenge against people who wronged them, and the tales are so epic that they never forgot the moment they delivered their comeuppance.

The True Price of Revenge

This happened a few years ago when I was in high school.

My school had an after class sport training which was open for whatever student wanted to come, except the training was 3 hours after all classes ended and since we weren’t allow to stay, we had to go home and come back before the training started. As a result the students that attended had to wait outside when they arrive until the school gate opened so we would usually sit on the sidewalk and talk while we waited.

That is when the problem started.

A very petty woman lived across the street from the school, lets call her Mary. Mary did not like us sitting on the sidewalk, so she would shout at us and insult us even thought we weren’t doing anything. We mostly didn’t care and just ignored her.

On a very hot day the sun made the concrete in front of the school too hot to sit on, so we all sat on the other side of the street, right in front of Mary’s house. Not even two minutes later Mary was screaming at us to get out of her sidewalk, when we refused she went back inside her house.

The next thing I felt was my back getting wet followed by my friends screaming. Mary had poured cold water on us from her window.

We were VERY angry because not only were we not able to train while soaking wet, my friend’s phone was in her hand and got destroyed because of the water.

We screamed every curse word existent at her until our coach arrived and told us to stop. We explained to him what happened and he said that he would talk to the principal about it. We knew that probably nothing would happen to her so me decide to take it into our own hands.

We thought a lot about how to get revenge but since doing something illegal would get us expelled and possibly arrested we had to be smart about this.

My friend noticed that Mary’s sidewalk was very narrow. That is when the revenge comes in. Before starting we measured Mary’s sidewalk and it was about 90cm, the minimum by law was 150cm. Perfect.

With that knowledge my friend and I went to the department of infrastructure in town and reported Mary’s house. Just to be sure we asked what exactly would happen if she was breaking the law.

The penalty was $500 per square meter not in compliance per month counting the day she was notified. The penalty would double after 12 months.

Since the government doesn’t lose an opportunity to make money we knew that all we had to do now was wait.

Just for fun we also measured the length of the house and it was about 500cm, we did the math and it would cost her about $1,500 every single month until she took the entire front of her house down and rebuilt it further back, which would also be very expensive.

Lo and behold, 3 months later there were workers destroying the front of the house.

Story credit: Reddit / Skane_in_a_boot

Power-Hungry Manager

I was an employee at a well-known breakfast chain, particularly popular for their wide selection of pancakes, for nearly three years. I was decently well-liked among the employees, and had a very good friend who had just been promoted to a shift manager by the former general manager, who was a really great guy that unfortunately got transferred to a different store against his wishes. He was replaced by a horrible, power-hungry shift manager that no one cared for.

So a typical work week for me was six days a week, between 60-70 hours a week, with Tuesdays being my only day off. My shifts ranged from eight hours to as much as an 18 hour double-shift (important later). I worked this schedule without complaint for years of my life.

Unfortunately on September 10th, I fell very ill while at work with no known cause. This was accompanied by very severe, stabbing pain in my lower right abdomen. I called the general manager (it was about 12am at this point) and informed her I planned on leaving to go to the ER, to which she told me if I left, then I would be fired.

Now at the time, I really needed this job, so not wanting to be fired, I decided to work through my shift. I had two hours remaining, but it was a nightmare to work through. Finally, 2am rolled around and I immediately left to drive to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was admitted almost immediately into the hospital due to scan results showing an inflamed appendix. I called the general manager, and let her know that I was being admitted to the hospital, and would keep her updated.

Her response? “If you’re going to try to get out of work, can you at least find someone to cover your shift in the morning? Some people…” Note at this point, it was around 3:30am, my next shift that she wanted me to cover, was at 8am the next morning. A few hours later, I was notified that I needed an appendectomy, and it would be scheduled for the following morning. I agreed, signed the release, and called up my manager to notify her. I told her that I would be out of work for at least a few days, but after surgery I’d let her know. It is important to know that I kept her informed throughout my entire absence.

So surgery went smoothly, however they found that I had a gangrene infection in my appendix that appeared to have spread. Due to complications involving this, my hospital stay ended up being two full weeks.

I was discharged at noon, and drove to work almost immediately after discharge to inform them I was out of the hospital and cleared to come back, as well as bring the hospital note, proving I was there. To my surprise, the regional manager is there. I walk in and find both the regional and the general manager at the front counter having a conversation. I slide the note towards them on the desk, and inform them that I was cleared to come back to work.

The general manager looked at me in utter disbelief. “Excuse me? You’ve already been terminated for no-call-no-showing for two weeks.” I reminded her that I did, in fact, keep her informed, and had proof. She cut me off, and with an annoyed tone, said that she’d give me another chance. I came back in that night for my shift, luckily working with my friend the shift-manager. I was also training a guy I had never seen before.

My friend later called me into the office, and that’s when I learned that I was only rehired so that I couldn’t file a wrongful-termination suit, and said that the person I was currently training was my replacement. The general manager had plans to fire me the next morning. As shocked as I was, we immediately hatched a plan.

So this restaurant was dirty. Huge roaches infesting the kitchen and dining room, black mold, rotten food mixed with fresh food, water leaks so bad the carpet in the dining room is literally decaying, you name it. We have reported these issues to the general manager multiple times, but nothing ever happened. My friend sent the trainee home, with the excuse that our labor was too high, and I spent the remainder of my shift taking pictures of every continuous health-code violation I saw.

Finally, the next morning rolled around. I woke up to a call from the general manager. Sure enough, she demanded that I turned my uniform in because I was being terminated immediately. I drove up there and asked for the reason behind my termination, and she replied that I was a “lazy worker who always complained that they had hours.” Not in the mood to argue, I simply turned in my uniform, and left. But that’s not the end of my plan.

I was one of the only food-safety permitted employees. I had just renewed my permit, so all of the information in the class was fresh on my mind. I also distinctly remember the health inspector teaching the class stated that if we wanted to report our workplace, just come in, ask for him, and bring evidence. I went straight to the health department, asked to speak with him, and supplied seven written paragraphs of every violation, as well as all of the pictures I had taken to back my claim up.

He informed me that with the picture evidence, it would be hard for the restaurant to fight. He also informed me he would follow up with a surprise inspection the next morning. The next morning, I woke up, and found messages from my general manager, calling me a “snitch”. Luckily, my friend recorded the entire inspection from the office.

The regional manager was slapped with a hefty $7,000 fine for allowing unpermitted employees to work, and the restaurant was ordered to shut down operations to clean. However, being a barely-profitable franchise, the franchisee (who owned many other locations) closed it down and ran off.

Now as much as I want to feel bad for the people left without work, I don’t, and for the decent employees, the story actually has somewhat of a happy ending, as most have moved on to better things.

Story credit: Reddit / furry_control

Today is My Last Day

I used to work in a small family-owned doctors office. A couple of years in, they got in a legal fight and experienced staff started leaving. Being young and dumb, I wanted to be loyal and ended up managing half of the doctor’s office.

The other half was managed by Brittany. She had a team of three that did the work of six.

The company got bought, and a new owner came in. He was like Danny DeVito in gold chains and a bad toupee. He was dumb and no one respected him. He screamed constantly, about little things, at anyone. He micromanaged and didn’t bother to understand someone’s job before telling them how to do it better. He tried to streamline processes without knowing how they worked. But mostly, he yelled.

One day, the hardest working person in the entire clinic, a nurse who started every appointment, was a few minutes late. She was a single mother and her kid was sick, so she showed up less than ten minutes later than usual.

Danny proceeded to berate the nurse in front of the entire office. When the nurse put in her notice at the end of the day, Danny fired her on the spot. Told her to leave and never come back.

I had been job searching, and had actually gotten an offer. I was planning on giving a lot of notice but couldn’t give notice if I’d be fired immediately — I had student loans and was paycheck-to-paycheck.

I grabbed the two remaining members of the admin staff and explained that I was going to quit without notice before too long. Brittany understood, and said she too was in the final stages of taking a new job. We agreed that we would quietly all find new jobs, then duck out when it was convenient.

A week or so later, Danny started screaming about the color of tape I’d used to duct tape down a power cable months before. I had used orange and yellow to make it more visible, but Danny said that was unprofessional. I asked him how he’d like me to fix it.

Danny: “Well, that’s not my problem. That’s yours.”

I paused for a second and said…

Me: “You know, I don’t think it is my problem. I’m out.”

I grabbed my small box of desk things as Danny howled at me:

Danny: “You will never find another job in this town! I own every doctor’s office in this county! I don’t need you, since I’ve got Brittany”

Brittany looked at him and said:

Brittany: “I’d been meaning to tell you that today is my last day.”

We packed our things and walked out, as Danny called the cops saying his employees were stealing things like their own birthday cards and pictures of their kids.

Without front desk, billing, or nursing staff, a doctor’s office simply can’t run. I’m told they were closed for almost two weeks before they got temporary employees, but had no one to train them.

Danny shuttered and re-sold the business a few months later to the Big Dog in the industry, which is a charity. Since their books are open, we saw that they bought the company (really just the clients list) for about 15% less than what Danny had paid a few months prior.

Story credit: Reddit / persondude27

Digging Through the Trash

My mom lives in a really small town, where people get into other peoples business quite often.

My brother and his family live next door to my mom, on opposite ends of shared property. Though it is shared land, they do have separate addresses for their homes. They will often share responsibilities and the like.

Well, neither household accumulates enough trash each week to justify both of them having trash service. My mom pays for the pickup and they share a trash can. They rarely even fill the one can between both households.

The trash man noticed a piece of junk mail with my brothers name and address on it one day, and had a fit. Saying that they had to pay for their own trash service. My mom ignored him. They weren’t doing anything wrong. Trash man didn’t like this. He started going through her trash before dumping it in the truck to make sure there wasn’t anything in there with my brothers information on it. My brother’s household started burning all junk mail, so no one is the wiser, even if they weren’t doing anything wrong.

The trash man kept threatening to have their service canceled. Again, my mom ignored him. He kept digging through the trash and just being a jerk in general. I told her she should have reported him, but she didn’t.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. My mom has chickens. Something kept killing my moms chickens. My brother set a trap to catch or kill whatever it was and they waited. A few days later, the culprit of the chicken killing was caught. It was a skunk. At this point, the skunk was dead and smelled awful. Instead of disposing of the skunk properly, my mom decided to be a jerk. She had my brother put the skunk in the trash can under a bag of trash. It baked in the sun for a couple of days before the trash man came again.

Mom stood outside and watched as the smug trash man opened the can to dig through it and gagged from the stench of the dead, recently sprayed skunk. I don’t think my mom had ever been so proud of herself. Trash man stopped digging through the trash and stopped making threats after that though.

Story credit: Reddit / UpchuckDaBoogie

Excellent Salesman

My nephew, Bob, had a job selling cell phones at store in a mall. The store was owned by a licensed distributor of one of the big name brands. He was very good at convincing customers to buy calling plans, extended warranties, and accessories that were obscenely profitable. Pretty soon he was the #1 salesman in the store.

The owners asked him to transfer to their other store in a different mall, replacing the assistant manager who they had just fired. In addition to an increase in his base pay, he’d get a cut of every sale made while he was in charge.

It took him about 2 days to figure out why sales were down. Clueless sales reps and lousy management. The manager would disappear for hours at a time leaving the sales reps to sit around ignoring customers. Most of them would show up late, leave early or not bother coming in at all. And when they did speak to a customer they had no idea how to make a sale. On his first day he outsold them all. After making sure the guys on his shift were actually doing their jobs, especially when it came to selling the high profit add-ons, the store’s sales improved. The store manager saw what was happening and wasn’t too happy. He knew it was matter of time before he was kicked out and Bob took his job.

One day they received a shipment of new phones. As usual Bob signed for them and locked them in a storage closet.

The next day was his day off. The manager called and insisted he come in immediately because there was problem. Overnight someone had broken into the store and stolen about a hundred of these brand new phones. The mall security camera showed two people driving up to the back door, opening it with a key, shutting of the alarm and walking out with the phones. The police were called.

He was grilled by the police for a couple of hours but they had no evidence against him and he had an alibi. But the manager convinced the owners that Bob was probably involved since he had signed for the phones, had keys to the door and storage closet and knew the alarm code.

Bob argued that they hadn’t changed the locks or code after they fired the previous assistant manager and anyone could know about the shipment. But he was fired – actually they allowed him to resign. And they stiffed him on his last commission check.

At the other end of the mall was a store that sold phones for one of the competing cell companies. They knew that since he had joined that other store their sales were suffering. They hired him on the spot.

Sales improved overnight. One of his favorite tricks was to stand in front of the store and wait for a customer to walk by carrying a shopping bag from that other store. He’d chat them up about their brand new phone, calling plan, warranty etc, (It’s amazing how much the average mall shopper is willing to share with a stranger)

Then he’d tell them that they probably didn’t need the extended warranty and those accessories could be purchased at Wal~Mart for about half the price. And he could sell them the exact phone with better plan for less money. If they agreed he would walk them back to that other store and tell the clueless sales rep how to void that sale he just made, then bring the customer back to his store to pick up their new phone.

It took about 3 months before that other store closed its doors.

Story credit: Reddit / CountMountjoy

Academic Dishonesty

This happened about 12 years ago while I was studying Aeronautical Engineering. Due to some money-grubbing legislation tactics, most who have gone to college know about the unnecessary courses that are tacked onto the degrees in order to graduate. One of those courses for my degree was a business class.

This class stumped me for quite some time and then a nightmare of a project was announced: one worth 50% of our grades.

The school was a small one, the class a little more than 30 people, and I was assigned to work with three people I knew from other classes. We had problems straight away. Two of the people remembered me from a Calculus class that they barely passed as the person who sailed easily through and decided to dump their portion of the work on me straight away, knowing I wouldn’t allow myself to fail. They were right.

At first my other group member tried to pick up the slack as well, pulling hard to do a difficult project in a subject we barely understood. I’ll admit she was a trouper. Unfortunately, she was also someone easily manipulated and our two slacking group members began applying pressure during the semester for her to take the work and allow them to present it.

The day of the project finally comes and I’m sick as a dog, pretty much quarantined in the clinic due to bronchitis. I managed to send a message to the teacher. The two slackers manage to wrangle the presentation from the girl who worked with me and presented it to the class, declaring that they had done all of the work and I was skipping class because they had told me that they were going to tell the teacher what happened.

My initial grade was an F. I was beyond furious until I realized something important: part of the project involved a written report, of which I held the only copy since I was the one to type it up.

Cue the revenge: privately I went to the teacher with my notes and the report in order to get the grade I earned and to get him in on the plot. He agreed since it seemed fun and he planned to fail them anyway for academic dishonesty. Publicly, there was no report.

The classmates that had attempted to take all the credit began to approach me, first demanding the report. Most of the time, my response was, “But I didn’t do any work!” in a sickly sweet voice.

Next they attempted to act all buddy-buddy, trying to convince me that it had all been a joke and promising that they’d tell the professor that I had done some work, giving me some credit so that I had the possibility to pass. This was met with stony silence on most occasions before I told them that I’d rather fail than let them pass.

Things escalated after that to include the door of my dorm room being rapped on at odd hours of the night, shoving, and them stealing my backpack and notebooks in order to try to find the report themselves.

Things finally came to a head on the last week of classes. I had held out on them for a month, not telling any of my group mates what I had done. They hadn’t even attempted to do the report themselves and the girl who had worked with me was in hysterics over the very real possibility of failing the class. It was what the teacher and I had been waiting for and he finally decided to return the reports.

The two slackers glared daggers at me as the teacher returned the report of every other group in the class before stopping in front of them. He was holding what looked to be one extra report and they were immediately looking hopeful. He set a single sheet of paper on one of their desks before moving to the desk of the girl who had worked along with me and set the report on her desk.

“I had to dock some points for dishonesty, but you and your partner did decently,” he stated before moving on.

My partner realized what I had done. We only got an 82 on our project, but it was far better than the 0 that our ex-group mates received.

I had been carefully documenting the harassment that the two slackers had put me through and ensured several witnesses saw some of what they did. Two days after being informed that they were failing, the pair had a new problem: I gave the evidence to the administration of our school and the teacher reported the academic dishonesty. The administration did a bit more digging and found that the pair had been making trouble for some time and a number of students reported similar problems of having their work stolen.

The slackers were expelled.

Story credit: Reddit / saria19

On the Verge of Tears

​Last summer I was at a cousin’s wedding. His bride and her family had been close with ours since before I was born, and the couple had known each other since they were toddlers, so it was a particularly exciting event for both sides of the family.

However, after the ceremony was over and the party had only just started, one of the bridesmaids decided to announce her own engagement. The attention was immediately taken away from the newlyweds and brought to the bridesmaid (who I’ll call Sarah) and her equally-smug fiancé.

My cousin’s wife (I’ll call her Emma) didn’t make a scene or utter a single negative word about Sarah. She looked like she was on the verge of tears, but she kept grinning and acted very happy for the other couple. This was unusual, as Emma is typically quite confrontational and speaks her mind no matter the consequences.

Sarah later picked Emma to be the maid of honor at her own wedding, which took place last weekend.

This is where the fun begins.

Emma’s two much-younger sisters were the flower girls at Sarah’s wedding. At the very last moment, Emma switched out the white petals in their baskets to blue ones she had secretly brought with her. She told her sisters not to say anything about it or let the bride see them until it was time to scatter them down the aisle.

Sarah looked very confused upon seeing the blue petals (which didn’t coordinate whatsoever with her theme), but of course she didn’t say anything about it in the moment. Most of Sarah’s other bridesmaids were also Emma’s friends, had attended Emma’s wedding, and were in on Emma’s scheme.

At the reception, Emma’s sisters and the other bridesmaids were tight-lipped when Sarah began demanding to know why there were blue petals. The wedding planner ended up getting a lot of abuse for not checking the flower girls’ baskets before they walked down the aisle.

Finally, it was time for the speeches. The speeches took place in front of a massive screen, displaying a loop of photos with Sarah and her husband, which had been compiled by Emma.

Emma took the remote that controlled the presentation screen and at first she showed some pre-approved humorous photos of Sarah with Emma and other friends to facilitate a couple lighthearted jokes.

Then, at the very end, Emma said to Sarah that she must be wondering why there were blue petals instead of the white ones originally planned.

That was when Emma displayed the last slide from her presentation.

Emma announced in front of everyone that she was five months pregnant, and that she’d just discovered the baby was a boy, hence the blue petals. The last slide? Her ultrasound picture.

There were shocked yells and gasps. Sarah had a fit, but those involved in the scheme cheered so loudly. Apparently Sarah had been very nasty to her bridesmaids before, driving several of them away and forcing the others to pay ridiculous amounts of money for dresses.

Emma and my cousin were eventually thrown out of the party, but they were all smiles. Sarah’s fuming mother went to confront her outside, and Emma retorted with, “Gentle, gentle! I’m pregnant!”

I bet Sarah doesn’t speak to the majority of those bridesmaids anymore.

Story credit: Reddit / yazdon

Control Freak

I had a boss one time who was such a control freak that she demanded to know specifically why I was calling out sick (WILDLY illegal where I live) one day. And for reference I’m typically the guy who never gets sick, so it wasn’t an attendance issue.

I told her I think I had food poisoning and she kept pressing me as to explain what my symptoms were and why I couldn’t make it in — all via text. I had finally had enough and was like “look, I’m not physically capable of working today and you are not allowed to ask me personal questions about illness and medical history!”

She threatened me with a write up if I couldn’t specifically explain/prove why I couldn’t make it into work. This is where the pro revenge comes in. I was about to send her something horrific, that she could not unsee… and she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it, since she technically asked for it.

Being that I was living in the bathroom for more than two days and had aggressive diarrhea every 15-30 minutes and the worst abdominal pain I’ve ever experienced, I took a pretty disturbing picture of me painting the bowl brown right before I flushed and sent it to her.

“This is happening every 15-30 minutes and I haven’t been able to leave the bathroom for the last 6 hours. Here is your proof, check the timestamp. I’ll let you know as soon as I can if I’ll be in tomorrow.”

So after 3 days off I show up for my shift, sleep deprived and sore from sleeping in my bath tub or on the floor for 2.5 days. She immediately escorts me into her office where our regional HR rep is waiting for me, and we all sit down. He has paperwork in front of him and is discussing the ‘incident’ with me and gets me to acknowledge what I did and that sending “unprovoked and offensive content” to coworkers constitutes harassment right before he asks me to sign a final write up (if you do something like this again, you’re fired).

Before signing I asked him, “Did she tell you why i sent this?” He was dumbfounded and said this isn’t really excusable and basically handed me a screenshot printout of the text messages where she deleted everything in the exchange (in her phone) BUT me saying “sorry, but I need to take a sick day today,” and the picture.

I laughed and handed him my phone and said here is the full exchange. He asked me to leave and “give them a few minutes.” About 10 minutes later he calls me in, by myself, and explained what I already knew: that she was the harasser and that she had aggressively violated privacy laws and would be dealt with, and to call him “if anything like this ever happens again.”

I found out from one of the assistant managers that she ended up getting a final written notice and was super close to being fired, and it prevented her from getting a big promotion that she was being considered for.

So, if you ever come across a moron boss who wants to play doctor and question your sick leave, send them diarrhea pics and they’ll either STFU or give you lawsuit material.

Story credit: Reddit / jakk86

Dismissive and Sarcastic

My friend’s dad is a pretty wealthy guy and owns his own construction business. One day, dad walks into a car dealership. He was interested in buying a Mercedes G Wagon. He went inside and was ignored for almost an hour while other customers were treated. Eventually a couple of salesmen approach dad and ask him what he’s doing here.

Sad starts asking about the cars. The Salesmen were very dismissive and sarcastic in response to him. It’s clear they aren’t taking him seriously and begin to leave. Dad becomes irritated and asks what their problem was. They argue for a minute when the manager comes and tells dad to leave. Dad had just come from work and was wearing slightly dirty jeans, boots and a t-shirt. He’s also a dark skinned man. Both of these factors probably made him look lower class in their eyes.

Little did they know. A few weeks later Dad ends up purchasing the car at another dealership. He negotiated free car washes for “life” as he traded in one of his luxury cars. Apparently he was able to go to other Dealerships in the area who authorized the same thing regarding car washes.

Dad ends up going to first dealership and throws the keys on the front counter. He demanded a car wash. The same manager eventually came by to object but dad showed him all the paperwork. He looked a bit shocked and begrudgingly got the process started. Dad has been going back almost every day for car washes. He always cheekily smiles at all the staff members with a crap eating grin as a greeting, especially the two salesmen. They now just hang their head in shame and walk away whenever they see him.

Story credit: Reddit / Scottie3Hottie

Salt of the Earth

I grew up on a horse ranch in Colorado. We had a long piece of property, about 80 acres, and we raised Missouri fox trotters. We had lived there for almost 20 years when some folks bought a strip of property way at the back of our land. It was a strange plot of land as it was very narrow, and was sandwiched between our back fence, and a busy county road. We were surprised anyone would buy it actually, as it forced the house to be pretty close to said road.

Well we never meet these new neighbors until one day my dad gets a notice from a lawyer telling us that after having surveyed the property lines, our back fence encroaches on their property between 3 and 6 inches depending on the spot along the fence line. These folks had never met us, never introduced themselves, our first introduction was this legal demand.

My father was a salt of the earth kind of man, very kind, but also very strong-willed. He called these folks, arranged a meetup, and tried to talk some sense into them. First did 3 to 6 inches really matter that much, and why had they not come to us to talk it through? He even offered a number of different compromises. These folks were hostile from the get-go. They demanded he move the fence immediately, or they would sue. Apparently the law stated they had to put their house so far away from our fence line, and they wanted to push it as far back from the road as they could when they built it, so they wanted that 6 inches very badly.

I still remember when my dad got home from the meeting. He hung his hat up and shook his head when he told my mom in his slow way.

“Well looks like we got the kinda folks for neighbors you don’t ever want to have for neighbors.”

They sued, and won, and we were forced to move the fence in 2 weeks. I say we because I was the free labor as all farm kids are in this kind of thing. All that fencing material, and the time, were a big cost for my family. But we got the work done in early spring.

Here is where the fun comes in… So the new neighbors broke ground and built all through the end of winter and into spring. The very next weekend after they had moved into their house, Dad rousted me out of bed and we took the big truck into town to the lumber yard. I was extremely puzzled as we loaded up a bunch of fencing material, and building supplies. We didn’t have any big projects going that I knew about, and I kept asking him what it was for, but he just told me to wait and see with a devilish smile on his face.

We build a pen and a small enclosure very near our back property line, directly behind the neighbor’s new shiny house. The next day one of our farm friends delivered a half dozen pigs.

Dad insisted on feeding those hogs table scraps and all the things that would go in the composter, as well as some good balanced hog feed to keep them healthy.

Now you may not know this, but the smell of pig excrement is directly related to what they eat, and their pen. Table scraps make them smell BAD. I mean BAAAAAAD. I had to drive the four-wheeler back there every day to take care of them, and within a month halfway there and my eyes would start watering it smelled so bad. When we mucked out the pen we also made the pile right next to the pen. I can’t even imagine how bad the smell was living in that house.

The neighbors, of course, freaked out, and again without ever even trying to talk to us, went the legal route. They lost, the area was zoned agricultural, and my dad had done his homework to make sure he was breaking now laws or regulations.

When winter moved in, we sold the pigs  and dad stacked up a bunch of building supplies next to the pen and let the neighbors know we would be expanding our pig pen in the spring when they came out to scream at him. He smiled the whole time, speaking in his slow steady way.

The new neighbors sold their new house in January when the ground was frozen and the new owners would not smell the pen. Though as soon as the old neighbors were gone we tore down the enclosure, spread the nasty stuff on the hayfield, and the new neighbors never had any bad smell come spring.

Never mess with a rancher…

 Story credit: Reddit / drumbubba

Spam Risk

I got our home phone number long before cell phones were a common thing to have. As things have evolved that phone number is part of my history and is good to use for things I don’t want ringing on my cellphone (like 99% of anything that requires a phone number for no good reason). So I have kept that phone number alive over the years. Most recently I moved it a few years back to an online service that charges a tiny amount of money per month to host it for me. I access it via a SIP client on my computer.

Because of the nature of the phone number it randomly rings. If I have time, I mess with whomever is calling. Most of the calls are the “your car warranty is about to expire” kind. Some of the calls are about non-existent credit cards. My favorite calls are the scammers. I record all calls that come into this phone number. In my state only one person needs to know that a call is being recorded and besides these scammers are all overseas so I really do not care about their laws.

Today I set a new record: a total of 1 hour of their time wasted.

The call comes in as normal. I string the guy along, I play dumb, I keep them thinking I am an easy target. After 40 minutes I tell him I have to hang up and could he call me back in an hour. To my surprise this idiot calls me back! So I decided to see if I could get him to let me connect to him by continuing to play dumb.

My plan is based on knowing that they have a handful of tools at their disposal, easiest of which is TeamViewer. So I play along until they get me on a TeamViewer but I never give them the real information on my end and I just ask for my partner ID. The idea is that with TeamViewer you can switch who is showing the screen after you make the initial connection. I know that I have but a precious few seconds of time if I manage to get them to give me their ID and password to make my plan happen.

So I have a dummy terminal set aside for all this. I quickly write out my set of commands so I can copy them to my clipboard and launch them as soon as I get connected. Sure enough they give me their ID and password. I am ready and I strike – paste the commands into a RUN window and let it rip. As I see the window pop up with the command prompt and the deletion of folders starts the guy starts to stutter and asks “What are you doing, sir?”

I keep playing dumb until my connection is terminated. All their files have been deleted. The scammer is furious. He starts to curse at me. I eventually start taunting him and cursing back at him. After a while, he hangs up.

Look, I know that they have cloned systems and they will be back up and running in no time at all. But this wasted an hour of their time and that is an hour they can’t use to scam someone else.

Story credit: Reddit / brainstomp

Notoriously Spiteful Store Owners

I was recently let go from my job as a store manager. The company I worked for was abusive to both me and my staff. Some examples (there are a lot more) would be:

• The owners/upper management coming to the store and chasing the staff around while snapping their fingers and saying “You’re not working hard enough! Go, go, go!”
• The owners/upper management coming to the store and telling me how fat X employee is.
• The owners/upper management spreading rumors about the staff and I.
• The owners/upper management screaming at us over the phone loud enough that customers could hear it.

A month or so before I was let go I had a pay dispute wherein I explained bluntly, but professionally, how they need to pay me because it’s the right thing to do. They had promised extra pay above my salary for working hours I shouldn’t have had to then purposely did not pay me that money. Eventually they paid me but they REALLY didn’t like that I stood up for myself and thus started their plan to get rid of me. One of them even stopped speaking to me altogether.

After this, I was strangely given permission to hire a staff for the store. I needed one so I happily posted an ad online and started interviewing people. It took a month but I finally found one I liked and called their references which came back average but good enough. A sales representative I knew saw the resume on my desk and told me I should call X business (which was not on the resume). I did and it turned out this person had been fired for theft of money and product. I decided not to hire the thief.

A few days after deciding against the thief I was forwarded a resume from the owner that had stopped speaking to me. It was instructing me to interview the thief I had decided against. But how did this owner get the thief’s resume in their inbox? The ad was mine, and forwarded only to my email, and only I had the password to the account. I followed the link back to an ad that I didn’t write and posted from a different account. This ad was for a store manager. A poor attempt at being sneaky. I could have quit right then, but I had a better idea.

The owners are notoriously spiteful. But I know they are also lazy and don’t do their due diligence. They think they are having me hire my own replacement without me knowing. So, I hired the thief as my “employee” while the owners, having already seen the thief’s resume, sees them as a good fit for store manager. I vouched for the thief’s references knowing they’d never call them themselves.

Three weeks later I was let go when I arrived at my store. The owners seemed confused by the big smile on my face when they told me. I was genuinely happy to be finished there. It was the worst employment experience of my life but it was a job of necessity. I was able to collect Employment Insurance, thankfully.

The thief took over managing the store. Thanks to the new store hours the thief works 5 days a week, with no staff, open to close, unsupervised.

Story credit: Reddit / Colo1984

Living the Hippie Life

So this happened when I was 14/15. My mother was married to a man who had an adult son from a previous marriage – I think he was mid-20s. He lived the hippie life – literally on the streets by choice, and about once a year or so he would hitchhike his way to our house with his friends, do copious amounts of laundry and pot, and generally just take over as if it was their house. They even left the gas burners on once because they “forgot” they turned the stove on.

Anyhow, like any teenage girl, I was obsessed with my clothes. I had laundry sitting in the dryer, including these awesome corduroy pants I had only worn once. Step-bro and friends are doing laundry and instead of doing something normal like moving my stuff aside or putting it in my room, they decide, “oh man it would be so dope to cut these up and make like a sweet cape!” So that’s what they did.

I saw step-bro wearing this “cape” and recognized the material. “Are those my pants?!?!?” I exclaimed. “They were in the laundry, man, ya know, like finders keepers.” I was furious and his dad wouldn’t do anything about it. My mom was mad because she had just bought these for me and they were pricey. Mom didn’t like this annual visit anyhow, but to keep her marriage, she put up with it.

I wanted to get back at step-bro but he had nothing of value because of his lifestyle. Then I remembered I overheard my parents fighting and my mom had mentioned step-bro had got a girl pregnant, and the kid was like 2 years old and he hadn’t so much as given the girl a penny or even seen the child since it was born.

So the next day, my parents were at work, step-bro is hanging out, listening to music or something, I decide to call the cops. I wasn’t sure what to say, but I told the dispatcher I knew of someone who might have a warrant out for failure to pay child support. The dispatcher asked the name of the person, I gleefully gave step-bro’s name and they confirmed there was in fact a warrant out for him. I gave my address and waited.

20 minutes later, cops roll up. They knock and I let them in, and lead them right to him. “He’s right here, officers!” I couldn’t stop smiling. They cuff him and take him off to jail. An hour later my mom calls the house after step-bro had used his phone call to call his dad, and I tell her exactly what I did. She whispered, “good job,” but then pretended to loudly reprimand me as she was with step-dad. Step-dad couldn’t get the fine and bail money together fast enough, so step-bro had to sit in jail overnight.

Still makes me happy 20 years later to remember seeing him being taken away in a cop car. My mom luckily divorced that jerk and is now married to a very nice man.

Story credit: Reddit / dandylyon1

Shopping Mall Surveys

Many years ago (early 1980’s) I worked for a company that did what I called “Mall Mollying”, they did market research surveys in a mall and were always stopping people to ask questions, etc.

The company was run by three older women who had started it in their kitchen. They were opinionated, and had no care about anything but money. Part of this included paying employees not by the hour but by the survey. Which was against labor rules as it never matched the basic hourly wage. This is important…

Christmas came, and we were planning our employee party when one of the owners called and told us that in order to avoid paying bonuses, we were to fire everyone at the party and then hire back the ones that we liked after the new year.

We (the other managers and I) talked about it, and then I called the Federal Bureau of Labor, who had been trying to get the information for the employee pay for several years but had always been turned away. I had them come to the back door and let them into the file room, and showed them the boxes.

I then said I had things to do in the front and would be back later and went to the front desk to finish the paperwork I needed. Said paperwork? A blow up of Santa going down the chimney with “Merry F-ing Christmas” typed across it, all of the management resignations and the Fed-Ex envelope that would hold our keys and said paperwork.

Labor guy finished what he needed to do, we locked up, sent the package which was timed to arrive at their Christmas party, and walked away. The company ended up spending about $250k in reimbursements and fines for the labor problem.

Story credit: Reddit / mansker39

Never Mess With a Web Developer

When I have the time and come across interesting projects or clients, I take on one-off assignments to create websites, graphics, applications, etc. for said clients. I recently had a client for whom I created a website. Their old website looked like it was created in the early 90s, but it drew a lot of traffic, so the need to update was clear.

Like always, we first agreed on the scope and design, and my client showcased his competitors websites for me, explaining what kind of things he absolutely wanted for his site — “but better” as he put it. I then had him sign a standard contract and pay a small up front fee. Everything went smoothly and I got to work.

After the project finished and I sent an invoice to my client, he told me that he won’t be paying anymore. During the few days that I had worked, he had watched some YouTube videos about creating websites and he had come to the realization that he, without any prior experience in web design or programming, could create an equally impressive site in pretty much the same time as I had, and so he didn’t feel like he should pay me anything extra. I reminded him of our contract and he flat out said that I am free to take him to court, but he won’t be paying me.

Obviously I had no intention of taking him to court because it would result in more headache than it’d be worth, but I wasn’t just going to let this slide. The website was already live and teeming with visitors, but my client, although they were a newfound web design professional, hadn’t realized that I was still the only one who had access to the site’s back-end, which meant that I could make any changes to the site and he couldn’t do anything about it.

So, I remembered how he had told me about all of his competitors websites. I figured the appropriate response would be to write a script that replaces his company’s contact details and opening hours with those of his competitors. Every time the site would load, the script would randomly show one of the competitor’s contact details instead. I also made it so that the contact form requests would be sent to a randomly selected competitor’s email.

I chose not to inform my client of this and went on to enjoy my vacation. Within a week, I received several emails and a call about my client’s concerns that something was wrong, that he hadn’t received a new client through the site in almost a week even though the site’s visitor count is much higher than before.

I let him know what I had done and I told him that I would undo it, but it would take me about an hour, for which I would be charging. Since I was on vacation, I’d apply the rush fee stated on the contract for that hour. And of course, I told him that this would all be added on top of the original fee that he owed me, plus interest for late payment.

Naturally, this led to insults and threats being thrown in my direction, to which I calmly responded that I will begin work once I have the money in my account and if he doesn’t want to lose any more customers to his competitors, he’d best man up quick. He tried to call me immediately and I just declined the call. After the second attempt to call me again, I sent him directly to voice mail.

I received an express payment to my account the very next morning.

Story credit: Reddit / _XeduR

Car Wreck on the Cul-de-sac

This happened shortly after college. My mom is a retired, disabled woman who now owns her house on a quiet residential cul-de-sac. She has lived there longer than anyone else. Her neighborhood has designated parking spaces at the end of the cul-de-sac, all with the addresses of each house painted in the parking space.

My mom doesn’t get out much so I use her designated parking space. At the time, we lived in the same city and I visited her weekly to bring groceries, fix broken things, cook for her, etc. My mom parked her car in the backyard of her house, since she went out so little. Mom kept busy by gardening or baking/buying cookies for the children on the street.

Mom’s neighbor, Ivy, never parked well. Whenever I stopped by, her car was always parked so close to my car that I had to park on the curb. I wouldn’t have cared about Ivy’s poor parking but for two things: 1) She had four or five kids and had parties almost every weekend, leaving trash in Mom’s yards; 2) I loved my car, a 2016 metallic ice blue Dodge Challenger, the first car I had ever purchased brand new.

Mom had called the police throughout Ivy’s residence because of the parties. Ivy’s guests would fill up the cul-de-sac with their cars, obstructing traffic, and get into loud fights after midnight. I often found empty bottles, empty rubber wrappers, smoke butts, and baggies on the fence between the properties, mostly on Ivy’s side of the fence.

One Saturday while having dinner at Mom’s house, I heard a loud crash and my car alarm went off. I ran outside to see Ivy’s older model Honda Accord back out of her parking space and speed down the street. Ivy’s Accord had a dent from the front bumper to the door and the headlight had popped out. I approached my Challenger with trepidation and screamed in anguish at what I saw.

My car, my beautiful three week old car with less than 500 miles on it, had a dent stretching from the passenger’s door to the front bumper and the right front wheel was tilted at a 30 degree angle.

As I called the police, I filed an online claim with my insurance, and arranged for a tow truck to take my damaged car to the dealership. The estimated cost of repairs came out to $3,400 USD. I had a low insurance deductible but my car was parked and Ivy owed for the damages.

For two weeks, I knocked on Ivy’s door or waited for her to come home. She stopped driving her damaged Accord and either rented or borrowed a Ford Fusion. When she was home, she didn’t answer the door. When she wasn’t, she stayed away until my rental car (a Dodge Charger) left Mom’s parking space. I left a note on Ivy’s door for her to call me, but only received harassing calls from restricted phone numbers or people blaring air horns in my ear when I answered.

So about two weeks after the accident, Ivy’s children came to Mom’s house for some cookies. I noticed that two of them had bruises around their eyes. If Ivy hadn’t hit my car, I still would have done what I did but maybe not as underhandedly. I had Mom take pictures with and of the children but waited until the next party to strike.

Ivy had a party that night or the night after. Mom called me to let me know and I installed an app onto my phone that gave me a fake phone number. I called 911 and reported the party. “There’s a loud party at 1007 Mountain Drive, and I’m worried because the children are around all these sloppy adults. Please, hurry!”

Mom called to let me know the police had arrived. I drove to her house (stopping by the grocery store first so that appeared to be the reason), and saw Ivy and her boyfriend already sitting in the back of a squad car. From a news broadcast that night, I found out that the boyfriend had warrants out for his arrest. Initially, the charges were disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace.

However, Mom turned over the photos of the children (anonymously mailing them through the post office with Ivy’s address and name as the return address). Less than a week later, Ivy and her boyfriend were charged with child abuse. The children ended up in foster care, and Ivy and her man ended up in prison.

Story credit: Reddit / JockBoy

Carolina Reaper

About three years ago, I was working in a pretty big factory. They hired through 5 different temp services, so the place was pretty much like a revolving door. People came and left without any warning, sometimes it was hard just to find a familiar face. So when someone started stealing my lunches everyone became a suspect.

After falling victim to the Lunch Box Bandit for a week straight, I’m talking about six 12 hour days with no lunch. Needless to say the frustration spawned several evil plans, but I felt the Carolina Reaper would give me the fastest and most effective results. All I know was people where gonna think twice before stealing lunches.

I spent all night making the best steak fajitas for lunch the next day. I finally minced the Reaper peppers into a nice pico de gallo, and topped my devil fajitas off. I carefully placed my fajitas into a Tupperware bowl, garnished them with cilantro and limes, then covered them with a clear lid to display their beauty.

The next morning, about an hour after I placed them in the fridge. A woman started screaming for help. I ran to the lunchroom to find the Lunch Box Bandit laying on the floor gasping for air. The reaper peppers triggered an asthma attack, and he had to be rushed to the hospital.

He never said anything, and neither did I, until now.

Story credit: Reddit / detroityeahdude

No Free Parking

I live in an apartment building which has end to end parking for two spaces per apartment, and access to the parking levels (1-5) are done via a locked automatic roller door which people can only get through if they have a remote for it (or sneak through behind someone else). I only have a single car, and sometimes I let my friends park in the space in front of my car if they give me notice, so I generally park at the back of the double space (plus it’s easier for my neighbors who have two cars).

Earlier this year, a random car began parking in front of mine on Friday afternoons, meaning I couldn’t go out with my car on Friday nights, annoying, but not the biggest issue when you live super close to the city. This continued nearly every week over about 5 weeks when I didn’t park my car at the front of the bay (which I began doing), but times I planned to leave the space free for friends coming over or whatever, the car appeared again.

I made repeated attempts to stop this behavior by leaving notes.

Well, it happened again, and this time it was still there Saturday afternoon when I had been planning on going away with a group of my buddies.

I figured enough was enough, it was time to have the vehicle towed, so I called building management and eventually calling a towing company, who refused to help because the space was on the third floor, and they can’t get any trucks up to that level because of the height and space restrictions.

Fortunately for me however, my parents only live 30 minutes away, and have a garage where I work on one of my cars that’s getting at the tail end of a minor restoration. One of the things I use pretty often is a set of Vehicle Positioning Jacks, to jam my project car right up against the wall of the garage to minimize the space it takes up. I decided to go grab them.

None of my friends minded spending an extra hour to screw someone over that had interfered with us, so we grabbed the jacks, and went back, propped the car up, and wheeled it out. Six guys can easily move around a small hatchback, so we pushed across the level slowly and carefully, to an area where there isn’t parking, just a load supporting pillar with space enough for a car behind it, in a little section of the garage that isn’t lit, and is completely out of the way.

Typically there’s a guy on my level that parks a motor bike there, but he isn’t meant to, and I doubted he minded. We dumped it between the pillar and the wall, with the nose pointing towards the wall, I took back my angry note, the jacks, and we left to enjoy our weekend.

When we came back Monday afternoon after the long weekend the car was still there, which was no real surprise considering there was only about a foot of space for movement between the pillar and car, and another foot or so between the car and the wall. From the fact the front wheels had changed we’re guessing they did try to get it out, unsuccessfully. It eventually went later in the week, though I’m not exactly sure how they managed it.

I never saw that car again.

Story credit: Reddit / AngryAussieGam3r

Extra-Strength Bleach

This happened when I was in college back in 2011. I lived in a 4-story dorm that was all guys, about 40-60 guys per floor. Each floor had one laundry room with 3 washers and 3 dryers plus cubbies to store your laundry bag/soap while you were washing.

A few months into the semester I noticed my laundry detergent was disappearing faster than it should be, not a huge deal but mildly annoying. What made it a bigger deal was that whoever was stealing my detergent would also take my clothes out of the washer and leave them on the floor so they could wash their clothes. This pushed me over the line. I would typically do a load while I went to class so this made finding the perp tricky. Then a golden idea hit me.

I went to Walmart and bought a new jug of laundry detergent, the same brand I always get, but I also bought extra strength bleach. I poured half the detergent from the new bottle into my old bottle and replaced it with the extra strength bleach. That next day I did my laundry as usual but left the new and improved detergent in the cubby instead of my regular stuff, then I waited.

After class sure enough my clothes were sitting in a pile on the floor soaking wet and the whole laundry room smelled of bleach, just what I wanted! Fast forward to the next week, every Monday night we had “Floor meetings” where we basically talked about rules and crap as a floor.

In walks the guy, we’ll call him Bob, wearing a newly bleached hoodie and ruined jeans. Bob drops his pile of ruined clothes on the floor and starts spouting off about how “someone owed him money for his ruined clothes.” The whole floor bursts out in laughter; apparently I wasn’t the only one Bob was stealing soap from. He didn’t get another sentence out of his mouth before our RA told him stealing detergent was still a crime so it was his own stupid fault. Enjoy your bleached clothes Bob!

Story credit: Reddit / Pickles_McGee

What I Say Goes

I worked in an office for a large supermarket. We had a team leader who was a jerk, (he’ll be known as ‘jerk’ from here on). Never in the wrong, always had the what I say goes attitude. Useless. One day he got promoted to the team leader of the team above us. They were involved in the data side of things so we thought we had seen the last of him, but he generally screwed with his old team he was universally despised.

One day we had an issue with pricing in our stores. Meat was going through the till at twice the normal price. In our stores we have a policy if we overcharge you, you get double the overcharge back.

Jerk manager, knowing this, went shopping after work. He put every meat he could think of in his shopping cart. Once he got to the checkout he acted as if he was a genuine customer. Now the jerk had always been so self-important he failed to realize the girl behind the counter used to work in our office.

She saw him with all this meat and spoke to her manager. She basically said to the manager “this guy’s pulling a fast one.” He agreed.

Manager: I understand you have been overcharged on some meat?

Jerk: Yes and I want the refund on double the difference!

Manager: Did the lady behind the till tell you about the overcharge before the items start scanning?

Jerk: Yes she did, and I was told to come here.

Manager: If you were told before the items were scanned that we had this fault all we can do is give you back what you have been overcharged.

Jerk: This is ridiculous. I know the policy, I manage the store’s policy throughout the country!

Manager: Excuse me but how do YOU manage the policy?

Jerk: I work in head office.

Manger: Oh, sorry sir, can I take your staff card?

Jerk: Yeah, here it is.

The manager proceeded to phone head office and it was jerk’s old team that picked up the call. The first thing the store manager asked was did we have a manager there by jerk’s name and could he speak to jerk’s boss. Jerk’s boss took the call and said to the manager, “Can you ask jerk to come in to your office? I need to talk to him.”

He was fired on the spot and told he would not get a reference from us as if he did get one it would say he was dismissed due to fraud against the company. I heard he was working for Domino’s Pizza. Bit of a come down from an $80k a year job!

Story credit: Reddit / Dirk_diggler22

Upward Mobility

Here we go. So I was working at HQ for a large and well known company, cubicle sorta gig. I had been there 3 years and the woman in question had been there about 12. She’s known to have a bit of an attitude and was pretty much next in line to fill a very high position under the CEO. She’s always not liked many of the office workers (pretty much all the men, and one woman she would constantly make cry).

One day I ended up brushing past her in a hurry to hand something off to my supervisor which he needed ASAP, both of my hands quite obviously occupied holding something at chest level. She ended up filing a harassment claim saying I grabbed her butt. (After 2 weeks of unpleasantness I ended up getting my supervisor to pull cam footage, which saved my bacon as they were pretty much about to fire me.)

Well I’m friends with a guy she likes to talk to, even though he doesn’t much like her. I ended up giving him my recorder pen a few weeks later and got him to try and egg her into talking about trying to get me fired. He managed to get her to admit to that and 3 other instances where she did get men fired for false harassment claims.

I ended up getting the recording back, made a few copies and ended up handing them off to HR, each of the 3 other men in question via email, my boss, and his boss, her husband( anonymously), and everybody on the board. I basically forced the company into a situation where their “star player” couldn’t stay, because A) 2 of the 3 men are currently looking to sue, B) I was getting ready to as well, and C) it was completely indisputable.

I lost her her job, and career, any chance at using the place as a reference, and probably damaged her marriage. She’s not getting a severance, or any of her PTO paid to her.

Story credit: Reddit / Skifer91290

Stranded in the Parking Lot

My grandpa was a quiet guy. He loved his family more than anything. And he was very, very observant.

My parents’ wedding reception was in full swing. Everyone is drinking and dancing and having a great time. One of my dad’s friends stupidly decides to play a prank. He gets two more of dad’s buddies to help. Grandpa notices them sneaking out and watches.

Now mom had an awesome car. It was a blue Camaro with a landau top, and was either a 69, 70, or 71. Mom doesn’t remember. This friend of dad’s also had a Camaro of the same year.

Anyway, the trio go out to mom’s car, pop the hood, and take a part. I think it was spark plugs, but whatever they took, it meant the car wouldn’t start, leaving my parents kinda stranded.

Grandpa saw this, waited till the guys went back in, then took the same part from the guy’s car, and put it in mom’s. He then took the guy’s tools and flashlight, and hid them in the coat closet.

Soon it’s real dark, so the newlyweds leave for their hotel room. Prank guy and his friends are even more hammered, and discover their car won’t start. They pop the hood and see the missing part, and start looking for the tools and flashlight.

Grandpa walks over and says, “Your tools and light are in the coat closet, I hope your car is comfy, because the building won’t be unlocked until morning.”

Of course Grandpa tells Grandma, they laugh, and Grandma tells mom and dad. My Grandpa was the best.

Story credit: Reddit / borderlinenihilist

Power of Attorney

Shortly after my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, my formally estranged half-brother quit his job and moved in to help take care of my dad. Though there really wasn’t enough money, it was agreed to pay him around $300 a week to make up for his missing income.

Durning this time, my half brother abruptly acquired durable power of attorney and usurped medical and financial (my mother and father had separate financial lives) decisions.

Several documents relating to my dad’s pension (which were now my half brother’s responsibility) were not turned in on time resulting in my dad missing out on a one-time payout of $8,000 and lowering his pension payout by $300/mo.

My half brother then cleaned out my dad’s remaining savings (about $3,000, not discovered until about a month later). 6 days later, our father took his one life.

My dad left all of his insurance money, and belongings to my mother. Us children were left with only sentimental items. My half brother was visibly upset and shaking when the will was read. He acknowledged that my mother was receiving “everything” and left.

About a month later we discovered the missing money. Though he broke no laws because he had power of attorney, we insisted he pay it back, even offered to let him make payments over a two year period. He refused and we have been no contact for two years now.

Little did he know that he was in my mom’s (his stepmother’s) will. He would receive half of what is currently a $250,000 estate. I suggested to my mother that she remove him from the will. She did and I am now the sole beneficiary.

He stole $3,000 now only to lose out on $125,000 later.

Story credit: Reddit / bichitis

Just One Phone Call

I killed an entire tow company with one phone call.

Several years back I went to work for a towing company. The pay was pretty decent, but we had to share trucks and the boss felt that he knew where we needed to sit in order to get the best calls. This is important for later.

Several months in, I realized that I was not making the type of money that I should be making. So I took the opportunity while I was sitting in a parking lot one evening to start researching the laws pertaining to employees in similar positions. My boss was kind of a jerk and the trucks had transponders so that he could see if we had them idling with the air conditioner on on a hot day, or idling with the heat on on a cold day. He was always calling complaining about something if the wheels were not turning.

During my research I discovered that if he was requiring us to sit in a certain parking lot, street, or any location of his choosing , then we were entitled to be paid an hourly wage not just our commission. The technical term was “engaged to wait” however if he allowed us to freely roam about while we waited for calls we were not entitled to hourly wages and we were therefore considered “waiting to be engaged”. I never mentioned this to him, but I did start taking note of my time.

Another month or so goes by and he decided to start coming down on me for things that ordinarily wouldn’t even matter, such as I forgot a pop can in the cupholder. He actually had a screaming fit about that. At this point I was tired of working there and had already found another job so I decided it was time to put my plan into motion.

I called him up, told him that we needed to have a conversation about my final wages and that we could meet at his convenience. Upon entering the office I laid out my argument, explained the state law, and told him I expected to be paid for the hours that I was on the clock but not freely allowed to roam looking for work or able to do things of my choosing. He told me in no uncertain terms that I would not be paid for that time, as that was agreed to upon my employment. I did not bother to argue, as I already had my next step planned, so I took my final check and I left.

The following Monday, I made a phone call to the state labor board, where I laid out my case to them. Needless to say, they were very interested in what was going on.

In the end, they came to review his employment records and speak to the drivers still working. When he got the bill of what he had to pay us all, it was too much for him to afford, so he sold the trucks, his boat, his lot and went out of business.

I never got the money owed to me in full, only a fraction. But the satisfaction of knowing the law just a little bit better than he did and watching it all burn was pure bliss.

Story credit: Reddit / mody-eto-suki

Hidden Treasure

I work for a construction company and we do drywalling. We have a rule here that we get to keep anything we find hidden behind the walls in the buildings we’re working on. (Sometimes you’ll find a pack of smokes left by another crew, a pack of gum etc.)

We hired this guy who was a total a-hole from day one. I’ve been working for this company for 5 years and this guy has only been doing construction for 1 year after he got fired from his accounting job. He would always make fun of my clothes and my accent.

One day he went too far by telling my boss about my private Instagram account pics. He got on my phone and looked through my Instagram page and showed my boss pictures of me smoking up. (Little did he know that my boss is my friend from way back when we used to smoke together before we both quit.)

I was so mad that he violated my privacy so I made a plan to screw him over.

He was the kind of guy who would always come in late and complain that trains or traffic are why he was late. One day I overheard him saying that if he won the lottery he would quit this job for not getting the “respect” he deserves. (You have to earn your respect here.)

So I bought some fake gold coins online and I put them in a metal box I found at the antique store and waited for a chance to hide it in a half-finished wall. Luckily I did not have to wait long.

The day he found the coins it seemed like it was his best day ever. First thing he did when he opened the box… he called my boss a “[bleeping] loser” and he quit immediately on the spot. He said “[bleep] this place. I’m rich.”

Little did he know  that was the best day of my life. After he quit my boss told us that he was going to fire him anyways for always showing up late. I wish I could have seen the look on his face when he found out the gold coins were fake. Best $40 I spent in my life.

Story credit: Reddit / lrze403

Petty Revenge

My ex cheated on me with a married man. She now lives with him. She is a jerk, but I got the last laugh. You see, I still have the login for her DVR. I logged in, erased all her shows, then recorded only the show Cheaters. Petty, but it makes me laugh.

Story credit: Reddit / redman2532

Like Clockwork

We had a guy in our office take a dump in the bathroom every day after lunch, and it would stink up the whole office. The manager asked everyone who needed to vacate their bowels to please use the lobby bathroom since our office was small and we only had the one bathroom. He didn’t listen. Fortunately, he was like clockwork, so five minutes before he went in, I took all the toilet paper.

That’s right. I forced the man to live with a dirty butt.

Story credit: Reddit / Link-to-the-Pastiche

The Last Place She Wants to Be

My sister posted a very anti-LGBT article on Facebook when the North Carolina bathroom bill was passed. She claimed she “no longer felt safe” shopping at Target if she might “be forced to use a bathroom” with a trans person. The horror! I got her the best revenge “gift” possible. For her wedding the following month, I got her a Target gift card. XOXO, Your very gay brother.

Story credit: Reddit

Nightly Disturbance

My downstairs neighbor at my old apartment was most likely a dealer. He didn’t have a job, and cars would come by at all hours of the day or night, often honking loudly. He or his girlfriend would run out and chat with them for like five minutes and they’d leave. The slinging didn’t bother me, but the honking at all hours did.

It would wake my girlfriend and I up at all hours of the night. Frequently his clients and friends would be parked and taking up two spaces when I came home from work, throwing off our already crowded parking scheme. His own vehicle was parked in such a way that if he had moved a few feet closer to the house, we could have another spot.

But his car didn’t actually run, so he couldn’t move it. He then started dating a woman with like three kids, and when they were over they’d leave their bike and toys in the parking lot or in front of our steps so we’d have to dodge them in the morning. She had a small dog, and while she was usually good about cleaning up, she would still miss some piles from time to time.

Eventually, I had enough. I decided to pay him back in the pettiest way possible. Each floor paid for their own electricity, and I knew our downstairs landing light was on his circuit. It was an old incandescent bulb, not an energy-efficient one like we had at the top of the stairs and throughout our apartment.

After his friend took up two parking spaces for like, three days, I never turned that light off. It was probably costing him an extra 30 cents a month in electricity, but it mattered to ME.

Story credit: Reddit / lokigodofchaos

Sooner or Later

My previous property management company was the worst. After a huge snowfall, the property management company hadn’t touched the snow in our parking lot for days. After day three, I called to mention we were sort of trapped and they needed to send trucks and snow blowers to take care of things. The response I got was basically “Sorry, we’ll get to it sooner or later.”

Important note: Years ago if you opened a Yahoo email, you could add a second email for recovery without confirming it. I created a new @yahoo email address and used their general @propertymanagement as the alternate email. I then signed up for alerts for every time there was an eBay listing for “snow plow” or “snow blower.”

It took a matter of hours before thousands of emails were sent. Ended up crashing their email server. They responded to all residents with a very nice email explaining they get the frustration, and they’re working on it. So, I paused the alerts. 24 hours later, still nothing, alerts back on. Another email, another pause, another day of nothing, repeat. Eventually, we got the driveway plowed and life was good.

Story credit: Reddit / Sidekicknicholas

Time Well Spent

Early in a game of Civ V, Alexander took Petra from me at the last second, so I built a special city in the frozen wastes, blocked it in with my own cities, gifted it to him, then burned the rest of his empire to the ground. It took about five hours. I like to think he learned his lesson, but that forward-settling jerk still looks as smug as ever.

Story credit: Reddit / Portarossa

Ultimate Payback

When I was about 13, I was snooping around my older brother’s room and found a stack of 20-dollar bills stashed away. He was saving up from his high school job to buy a car. Hundreds of dollars. To 13-year-old me, it was a fortune, and I figured he wouldn’t notice if I took just one measly little 20-dollar bill.

So, I did. For years I would remember it every once in a while and feel kind of guilty. The worst part was when I took the 20, he was also a teenage kid and probably knew exactly how much money was there. He probably knew I took one, but let me get away with it because he figured I needed it. That made me feel much worse.

So, 15 years later, I’m hanging around with him during the winter holidays. I see that he left his wallet on the counter, and he’s upstairs just hanging out. This is my time to strike. I sneak into his wallet, see that there are a few 20 dollar bills, and I slide an extra one in there real sneakily. Got him! Revenge is so sweet.

Story credit: Reddit / Orange_Kid

Public Shaming

A guy owed me money, but I wasn’t immediately worried because we had done transactions before. This was a transaction via USPS. Well, he started dodging me, ignoring calls and messages, but stayed active on Facebook, all while ignoring me and deleting my comments on posts. After three months, I had had enough.

I got the notification to approve him as a member of a Facebook group I’m in. I approved him…then made a big post in the group putting him on blast for it, tag and everything. I then added his mom and sister on Facebook and sent them messages. Mind you, the guy is in his thirties, he has no excuse. He messaged me about it, and things are getting resolved.

Story credit: Reddit / im_your_boyfriend

Lying Under Oath

I had a six-month school internship at a mobile phone store. The boss was a total jerk who treated his school-interns like full, paid workers, and even gave me some money responsibilities. A while after the internship, he called to tell me I would have to give a statement at court because he had a problem with some customer and a particular shipment.

He planned to tell the court that he explained to me everything concerning the shipping precisely. Of course, he didn’t. And of course, I didn’t lie in front of the judge. My boss’ attorney gave me a look I will never forget when he realized his stupid plans didn’t work out. A few weeks later, he tried to call me again. I didn’t pick up.

Story credit: Reddit / overbread

Shamefully Happy

Older Chinese people think that’s it’s really shameful to have a son near 30 who is still not married, because it means that they are not a good parent for not having found a good bride for their son, or it means you are too poor to afford a marriage, or your son is ugly. The pressure is pretty high and everyone tends to want a grandchild as soon as possible.

So, my mother got sick five years ago in China. We are emigrants so she doesn’t have insurance there, her treatment was more than $30,000, and we were broke. Since her aunts and uncles still owed her some money, she asked for some, but guess what They denied it and let her stay sick. They were basically just waiting for her to pass.

So I quit school to help my mom. After four years she was cured, and I got myself a family. I had two sons and bought a house with the help of my in-laws business. Well, last year I took my sons to China, went to visit those aunts and uncles—and got news that made me shamefully happy. All their sons are still single, while I have not one but two children.

Story credit: Reddit

Zero Tolerance Policy

My favorite childhood story. So, I was an AP kid and had a bunch of AP friends, and also was in sports and theater. I had a large bunch of friends in nearly every clique. Anyway, one day one of my friends gets sucker-punched in the halls by some jerk. Because of the school’s ridiculous zero tolerance policy, getting sucker-punched carries the same punishment as doing the punching.

As a result, my friend and the jerk both got in school suspensions, even though only one of them was punched in the face. I thought that was a little bit unfair. So, I got my friends together, and they got their friends together, and every week, one of us would sucker-punch the jerk. Every week, both of us would get a suspension, but there were enough of us that it didn’t matter. The jerk, meanwhile, missed so much class he had to retake the grade.

Story credit: Reddit / whoshereforthemoney

Young Love

This happened when I was in my late twenties. My mom and I were in the car. My dad called and they started bickering with each other. My mom got irritated and hung up on him. He called her right back, and when she answered he hung up on HER! Didn’t even say a word, just waited for her to pick and then hung up.

It was so petty and hilarious to see my parents acting like children. I couldn’t stop laughing. They’ve been married over 35 years. I still get tickled when I think about that.

Story credit: Reddit / underthetootsierolls

Utility Bills

My roommate used to leave his heater on full freaking blast when he would sleep, and I’ll give you one guess who paid the electric bill. He would sometimes forget to turn it off for work, which of course made me even madder. One day, I had enough. Instead of being an adult and asking him to turn it down and or off when he left, I pulled the heater off the wall and unwired it.

Story credit: Reddit

Tow Truck Blues

When I was in college back in the 90s, I used to dispatch tow truck drivers part-time to help pay tuition. It was an easy job. Someone broke down, they called Triple A, then Triple A called whichever tow company was nearest. If we were nearest, I would get on the radio and tell the driver where to go and what to expect.

Pretty easy, and most drivers were laid-back, friendly guys. Sometimes we would get new drivers, though, as the tow industry has a healthy turnover, especially in the wintertime. If the new guys ever got uppity or were jerks, we had this one trick we would pull on them. First, we would wait for the “Driver” to be helping a girl.

Then once they had gotten the girl’s car on the flatbed or strung up on the rig, we would go over the radio and ask if they were available. Dispatcher: “Hey driver, you have a customer with you en route back to the garage?” Driver: “Yeah dispatch we are heading back to the garage.” This is where we’d strike.

Dispatcher: “Okay, good. Oh, by the way, the doctor called. He said something about your private rash cream being in and you can pick it up whenever you have time.” Of course, all of the other drivers would be standing by on their radios and then they would all chime in laughing to bust the target driver’s chops. It was a great laugh, and the drivers never messed with the other drivers or dispatch again.

Story credit: Reddit / ronglangren

Group Project

This happened to my significant other when he was at university. His class was doing presentations in pairs, and he got paired with some girl who didn’t bother to bring notes or research information for their presentation. Instead, she let him do all the work, and any slides she did were made from his notes and research.

He complained to his tutor and she told him, “Don’t worry, leave it to me.” So the day of the presentation comes. They present, and then the tutor asked the girl a question that destroyed her. It was something like, “Is there any evidence to suggest that some cultures are more prone to mental health problems?”

And the girl answered no. The tutor then asked my significant other the exact same question, and because he’d actually read the research on the topic, he was able to list off several studies that showed that some cultures are in fact more prone to mental health issues. The girl glared at him the entire time he answered the tutor’s question. Pretty sure she ended up with a D.

Story credit: Reddit / Lil-Night

Finders Keepers

When I was traveling with a mate in India, we had a falling out over something that I didn’t think was a big deal at the time. But apparently he is super petty because he hid my journal in retaliation and denied all knowledge of its disappearance all day. In response, I hid his passport and got the journal back within an hour.

Story credit: Reddit / matted-

One-Upper

A woman I work with literally stole this great story that I tell about me being in the same hospital at the same time that my niece was born. She tells it as if it was her husband, and she was in the hospital giving birth. She’s a known one-upper, everything you do she did it better, faster, it was worse for her, etc.

So, it didn’t surprise me when a co-worker told me she regularly tells clients that story. Now, every single day as I get in, I pour a tiny bit of my water bottle out on her desk, chair, or on the carpet somewhere in her office. In my mind, mold is slowly growing in her office, her skirt gets wet when she sits down, or any fresh documents she puts on her desk get sat right in the small puddle of water.

Story credit: Reddit / b8le

Miracle Cure

As a nurse, we had this god-awful patient who made all our lives a nightmare. Needed pain meds on the dot, needed to smoke every half hour, sat on the call light all freaking day. This person was also possibly the rudest human being I’ve ever met. Treated us horribly. So it finally came time for discharge, and this patient decided to come up with a whole bunch of new medical problems.

“I have chest pain! I have nausea! One side of my body feels numb!” So, being the very skilled and rational nurse I am, I asked the doctor for a whole new set of orders. First, I asked for lab draws every three hours (meaning needles every three hours) to check cardiac markers. Then I asked that the patient get “nothing by mouth” status while we did tests. This person couldn’t go an hour without eating something. Oh, but it gets better.

For the numbness, I requested he be placed on strict bedrest for 24 hrs, which meant no more going downstairs to smoke. I then explained this all to the patient, and he says, “Oh! I Just wanted to stay another night. I ain’t doing any of that! I feel fine, just give me my friggin’ papers!” I had him out the door in an hour.

Story credit: Reddit / andybent25

Secret Recipe

I used to buy small treat bags of gourmet cookies from a local bakery a few years ago. I would eat maybe one a day, but they were a treat for me. Back then, my husband and I had a retail store and a few friends who would hang out at the store, since it was kind of a lounge too. Well, my husband and our friends would just help themselves.

But they had no self-control, and they wouldn’t even ask for some. I would buy the bag of cookies for me, and they’d be gone the next day. I would try to hide them but couldn’t. So, I bagged up a bunch of dog treats that the local pet food store had that looked very, very close to cookies. They were all about the same size as the ones I bought from the bakery.

I placed them where all the guys could see them and waited for the fun. Yep, they tried them…asked if they were a bad batch or maybe the bakery missed an ingredient or two in the dough. I waited until they tried to eat more than three each, then told them they were dog treats. They never touched my cookies again.

Story credit: Reddit

Can I Borrow Your Notes?

I had a guy in school who would always skip class and then ask for my notes. Very annoying. We had a group project worth almost 40% of our grade and he did zero work, and the professor told me “tough luck.” Instead of just saying “no” the next time he asked for notes, I took the low road and got the perfect revenge.

I began giving him edited versions. I would leave items out of lists, incorrectly define things, or just straight-up write stuff that made no sense. If he had even once bothered to crack the text, he would have figured out that I was just putting junk in willy-nilly, but that was apparently too much effort for him. He retook that class.

Story credit: Reddit / failing_forwards

A Lesson Long Overdue

I worked in a fish factory most summers when I was in my teens, and there was a boy who also worked there one summer who was a jerk and a harasser. Myself and another girl were his main targets, and he’d pelt us with really disgusting verbal harassment that was inappropriate and race-based in nature, since the other girl mixed-race.

It got so bad, he would even yell his insults over the factory announcement system whenever he didn’t have enough work to keep him busy. To make matters worse, the foreman refused to get involved…so we took action. One day, we finished work before he did, and spotted his car out in the parking lot. We looked at each other deviously.

We went back into the building, got several rolls of toilet paper and a packet of menstrual pads, and “decorated” the car with them. The car was seen by many of our co-workers, some of whom also witnessed the decorating and cheered us on. Once he got out, he just stood there, blushing and embarrassed and wondering who could have done this to him.

He was very subdued at work after that and the teasing nearly stopped entirely, I hope because what we did made him realize what it felt like to be on the victim’s end of all the teasing. Best thing about it was that everyone, including his own brother, knew who had done it, and no-one told him. Clearly, this was an overdue lesson.

Story credit: Reddit / Netla

Night Shift

I used to work shifts many years ago, including regular night shifts. My boss was an unpleasant person to say the least. He would leave his keys on top of his locker. One night, I took a small file to work and filed down one or two teeth of his front door key. The next day, he was telling everyone about how he got home and his door lock was broken.

He had to get a locksmith out, which cost a fortune, and he didn’t get much sleep. Well, it happened again a couple of months later. Then his car key got some treatment. I stopped after that, as I heard him mention it was getting suspicious that all these locks stopped working. But, unknown to me, other colleagues also disliked him…so one night his locker disappeared entirely. Rumor has it that it’s part of the foundations of an office block now.

Story credit: Reddit

Dressing on the Side

In seventh grade, I used to take home-made lunch to school. We prepared our own salad dressing (lemon juice, salt, oil, etc.), and one kid decided it would be good to take it and drink it before lunchtime. I asked him not to, but he continued to drink it, then started doing so in one gulp so I couldn’t stop him.

But instead of making a huge deal, I prepared two salad dressings. One that I would actually use on my salad, and another that had all the liquid condiments I could find in my mom’s kitchen. It was really fun to see his face as he drank it again the next day. The jerk never took my salad dressing again. I rode that high for a long time after that.

Story credit: Reddit / pipenho

Care Package

My little brother and his girlfriend came to stay at my house for the weekend, and the girlfriend was super self-centered and obnoxious. When they left, she forgot her clothes and toiletries because she left them sprawled all over my bathroom. About a week later, she and my brother moved into an apartment together.

After he paid for the moving truck, deposit, and utilities, she cheated on him with her ex and kicked him out of the apartment. This left him broke, homeless, and heartbroken. In the days after the breakup, she kept calling and emailing him several times per day, demanding that he ask me to ship her clothes and toiletries back to her. “It’s Really Important, it’s my NORTHFACE.”

My brother called and pleaded with me to ship them to her so she would stop having a reason to contact him. Being the loving sister that I am, I gathered up the Really Important sweatshirt, shorts, underwear, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and razor. I folded everything nicely. I then wrote a nice note apologizing for taking so long to mail them to her. When she opened the package, she must have been furious.

See, the note was written in permanent marker, and the paper happened to be resting on the Really Important Northface when I wrote it. Unfortunately, the ink bled straight through the paper and onto the shirt. Also unfortunately, the shampoo, soap and conditioner caps were not tightly secured on their bottles, and the contents leaked out all over the clothes, further spreading the ink.

The most unfortunate result, though, was that her razor didn’t have any sort of protective cap or container and left little slashes all over the front of the Really Important Northface. She received the package, and my brother never heard from her again.

Story credit: Reddit / Typingbutnotworking

Don't Dish It Out If You Can't Take It

A drunk guy harassed me on the subway one night on my way home. About two minutes after his last “freaking stuck up cow” to me, he fell asleep. I made sure he regretted his mistake. I took out my lipstick and drew all over his face. Then I got off and watched him snooze away as the subway pulled out. Idiot. I hope he woke up with lipstick all over his pillowcase and a ticked off wife.

Story credit: Reddit / RipleysButch

New Policy

I occasionally deliver pizza as a part-time job. There is a customer who tends to pay with a big bag of change. I don’t mean a bag full of quarters, I mean a bag full of dimes, nickels, and pennies. Since his meal typically costs about $20, the bag usually weighs several pounds. It is a total pain to count out all of the change.

Typically, drivers will just assume that he has the correct amount and leave. Usually, he has just enough or maybe a few cents over. I don’t think it is an innocent thing either, as he usually gives the bag of change with a dirt-eating grin. It is such a pain that most of the drivers know his address by heart, and avoid going to his house if at all possible.

I was having a bad night, and by the luck of the draw I got this dude’s house. I remembered reading a post involving someone paying in a checkout line with a bag of change, and I knew I could use a similar method to take my frustration out on this guy in the pettiest way possible. So I pulled up to his house and left the pizza in the car.

I rang the doorbell, and when he answered I saw the large bag of change in his hand. He asked where his pizza was and I said, “New policy, sir. Gotta count it out before we can give out the pizza.” So, I sat down on his doorstep and started to count out all of the change. At one point, I even asked if he could turn on his porch light, because I was having a hard time seeing.

He ended up sitting there while I counted out the entire bag of change. He was a dollar over, so I started picking up pennies to give him his change back, and he said that I could keep the rest as a tip. When I gave him his pizza, he sheepishly told me sorry and then shut the door. To my knowledge he hasn’t ordered pizza from us in a while.

Story credit: Reddit / thr33beggars

Smelly Revenge

My sister said some pretty mean things to me in front of my friends when I was younger. I really didn’t take it too well, and knew I had to get revenge. So, I put a slice of bologna in her Walkman CD player. I got the idea from Cory in the show That’s So Raven. If you ever read this, thank you very much, Cory.

Story credit: Reddit / Kevin_Steak

Like a Freight Train

Back in the early 90s, supermarket cashiers had to type every price in by hand. I was at a grocery store, walking toward the only open check stand with a single bottle of soda in my hand. Suddenly, this hoity-toity lady with a cart stacked to the top flew out of one of the aisles like a freight train and cut me off.

“I’m in a hurry,” she said, then looked away like she was annoyed that I’d even been born. I looked at the cashier. He rolled his eyes and got back to work. Five minutes later, she’s walking out the door and it’s my turn to check out. What the cashier told me made my fist pump. “You’re good,” he says. “I put your soda on her tag.” Man, that felt good.

Story credit: Reddit / Irishzombieman

Shared Login

Back in college, I was sitting in the library trying to work on an assignment. All was quiet for a while, until this one obnoxious guy came in and sat at a table near me. He proceeded to pull out his phone and have the loudest, most obnoxious conversation with one of his friends. Lots of “BRO, SERIOUSLY BRO?” and yadda yadda.

I was about to pack up my things and find somewhere else to work when the conversation turned to Netflix. The guy told his friend he should just use his account and proceeded to loudly state his email address and password for all in the room to hear. Obviously, this was too good of an opportunity for me to pass up.

So, I promptly logged into his Netflix account and navigated to the “LGBT” section and started adding the gayest movies I could find to the top of the queue. I like to think that both the guys ended up thinking the other one added the movies to the queue but were too shocked to ever say anything to each other.

Story credit: Reddit / yeahhtrue

Spreading Rumors

A girl on my softball team teased me and spread rumors about me to the team and coaches just because we were competing for the same position. She was in my geometry class and then tried to buddy up to me because I was good at geometry and she wasn’t. So, for a while I let her copy my homework…then one day I gave her all the wrong answers and turned in the right answers for myself.

Story credit: Reddit / 45MinutesOfRoad

Junk Mail

In college, I lived with several guys in a suite. One dude liked to call me “chunky A.” Yes, I was chubby, and I still am, but I have lost a lot of weight and I am continuing to lose more. Still, at the time I was self-conscious about it and I asked him politely but firmly to not call me that. He laughed and did it more. That was the final straw.

I proceeded to call up every infomercial I saw on TV to send him baldness cures (he was losing his hair), tourist information from places like Iowa and Nebraska, and information about adult bedwetting. He was not too impressed when the mail started coming in. He accused me of it, but I played innocent. And then I took it up a notch.

I kept it up for two years while he lived there in the dorms. His junior year, he moved out to an off-campus place, so I found out where he lived. I then waited a couple of months and started the process all over again. Yeah, I bombarded him with junk mail. It was probably the most savage thing I’ve ever done. I have no regrets.

Story credit: Reddit / Tsquare43

Level the Playing Field

When I was a kid, I had a bed wetting problem. I’m not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems. At the time, however, it was humiliating. Even worse, my younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified. Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued.

So, I decided to level the playing field. The whole “hand in a cup of warm water” deal didn’t work. So I stood over him as he slept one night and peed on him. The next morning, my mom thought we were both wetting the bed. After a few more times of “framing” my brother as a bed-wetter, he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.

Story credit: Reddit / hardybe

Who's a Good Girl?

My boyfriend’s uncle and seven-year-old cousin live upstairs from us. His cousin has a tendency to be a little bratty girl. One day, I was holding her dog when she came over and yanked her from my arms. No more than 20 minutes later, I went out and bought some dog treats. Every day when I come home, I give the dog a treat. Now the dog waits by our door instead of hers.

Story credit: Reddit / Dween_Deedles

A Fleeting Moment

Back when I was studying engineering, it occurred to me to try and find an app on my iPhone for those Panasonic projectors in lecture rooms. So, I got the app and it just let me connect to the one in the class without a password or anything. I have a friend who is one of those perpetual pranksters, so I knew just what to do with it.

I beam a picture of him onto the projector. The lecturer is just talking away and this goofy picture of my friend is on the screen. Lecturer does not realize yet. People in the lecture start waking up and giggling a bit. Now I use the pen function and draw a wiener on the picture, too. My friend was red in the face and trying to hide.

When the lecturer finally noticed, he totally called out my friend: “Michael, why is there a picture of you on the screen?” For a fleeting moment, I actually wrecked that dude.

Story credit: Reddit

Cuckoo For Cocoa Puffs

I knew a crazy kid in elementary school. Kid jumped across the table and tried to choke me out. I instigated it by saying he was “cuckoo for cocoa puffs” since that was the only thing that kid ever talked about and he was wearing a cocoa puffs shirt that day. Senior year of high school, turns out that kid was in my Design class.

I needed to get a C or better on the final. Over the year, I found out the kid was taking my work off my share drive and copying it. For the final, I purposely screwed up the drawing in my folder, but the kid didn’t double check it. He turned it in and failed and had to go back and be a super senior. Too bad for you, my dude.

Story credit: Reddit / XIGRIMxREAPERIX

What's Under the Bed?

When I was a kid, I got the Sabrina the Teenage Witch “Handbook.” It was full of kiddie experiments and stuff, and it was pretty fun. My older sister had upset or annoyed me about something, so I tried out one of the “tricks” from the book. You fill a cup with water and some corn kernels, and put some tinfoil on top of the cup. It worked too well.

The kernels eventually pop and it makes noise against the tinfoil, but it takes a few days to “work.” I put it right under her bed and then I completely forgot about it….until one night I woke up to my two sisters screaming like crazy. It had popped in the middle of the night and she thought there was a rat under her bed.

Story credit: Reddit / caca_milis_

They Made It All Up

My mom was a language teacher at my high school, and years after I had graduated, she called me kind of upset because a group of guys was trying to make her look dumb. The class was supposed to write one of those team dialogues in Spanish. They had a week or so to prepare it, then they had to perform it in front of the class.

When she called on them to do theirs, they said: “But we already did ours, we’re not doing it again.” She said, “You definitely didn’t do it, I don’t have any record of it here and I would remember it if you had.” They simply refused to do it, insisting they already performed it and that it was her fault she didn’t take notes or put their scores down.

She was in the middle of questioning herself when one of the good kids came and told her the truth. They hadn’t really done it, and they had just been bragging about making her look stupid. They apparently even threatened the class if they said anything. Well, obviously my mom was appalled, but she came up with an amazing revenge plot.

My mom was really into yoga at the time and got a great idea while meditating. She went in the next day and said, “Boys, I owe you an apology. I found my notes on your presentation and I do remember it, I don’t know how I forgot!” She then went on to describe all the grammatical mistakes they made, all their word choice flaws, everything. All made up. She failed them all on the project, and they couldn’t do a thing about it without admitting they’d made it all up.

Story credit: Reddit / a-dizzle-dizzle

The Ultimate Revenge

My neighbor’s dog poops in our yard all of the time. It wouldn’t be a big deal, except he never cleans up after her. I finally had enough, so I decided to go with a classic. I put a flaming bag of his dog’s poop on his porch, rang the bell, and hid in the bushes. When he answered the door, I finally got my revenge by having an affair with his wife for the last three and a half years.

Story credit: Reddit

Back to Her Ex

Years ago, I had a girl cheat on me with her ex. I never told her I knew, but inevitably broke up a week or two later “mutually”… I knew full well she would return to her ex immediately. Well, she did. I was bitter, but held it together. Then a month later, by a complete stroke of luck, I ended up with the ex/new boyfriend’s phone number.

A female friend of mine wanted to help me and posed as his “side chick.” She called and texted him every night for a week asking when he was going to screw her again, and saying she “can’t wait to see him again when his girlfriend goes to work.” I’d listen in to the calls, and every call we’d hear my ex in the background going crazy about it.

Sometimes she’d even answer the phone. My friend did a terrific job. After a week, we decided to up the ante. We drove by her house and his car was parked outside with the windows down. We put a pair of panties in the backseat. A few days later, I get a call from my ex, who had suddenly decided she wanted to return to me. Then I turned her down.

Story credit: Reddit

The Missing Piece

My roommate and her significant other loved doing elaborate jigsaw puzzles. After I found out she cancelled our lease, leaving me one week to find a new place to live, I threw away one piece of two different puzzles they were working on. Before you ask, she was able to do all this because I was 17, and not able to legally sign a lease.

Story credit: Reddit / stanciat

Class President

High school. We were in history class, and I really had to go to the bathroom. A girl was already out and we were only allowed to leave one at a time. Fine. However, this girl often goes to the bathroom then just hangs out and is gone for like 30 minutes. So, after 20 minutes I had to really go. I asked to use the bathroom again. DENIED.

Teacher said someone was out already. I said she has been out for almost the entire class, I need to go. Someone texts the girl, she appears. Looks ticked. Yells at me in the hall. I didn’t have to wait long to get a satisfying revenge. See, she was trying to become our homeroom class president. Not really a serious position, but it was leadership for her college applications, and the “debate” was that day.

Our class was about 30 kids. Two people were running: that girl and another. They said their two-minute speeches. At the point where we cast our votes, I had a little group of my friends in the class vote for a third party—a guy she hated. He was elected and she lost a line in her college resume to a guy who didn’t even want the spot.

Story credit: Reddit / wm1989

Cutting in Line

There was this young teenager who cut in line in front of me at the supermarket. When he wasn’t watching, I broke his chocolate bar while it was still inside the wrapper. Then things really got good. Later, I saw him bicycling by. He opened up his bar and half of it fell out onto the pavement. He got really furious and I chuckled. It was a good day.

Story credit: Reddit / racoon1969

Worth the Effort

Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic freaking lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces. So, after three bouts of this and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box.

I emptied the contents of the lunch box. Then I ran over them with my car. Just completely flattened it all. But that’s not even the best part. I then carefully packed it back into his lunch box, and put it back for him to find. I felt bad at first, but it was well worth the effort. He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.

Story credit: Reddit / AR3Leatherworks

Revenge Knows No Limits

My wife is very, very picky about the mugs she has for different hot drinks: Tall mugs for coffee, wide mugs for tea, dainty cups for fruit teas. When she’s being irritating and asks for a cup of tea from me, she gets a very plain, boring builder’s mug, and I delight at the mild irritation it brings. My revenge truly knows no limits.

Story credit: Reddit / SailingOnFishlessSea

Nothing Was Off Limits

Okay, this one is pretty gross. Growing up in a house of only girls, personal space does not exist even a little bit. We used to bathe in front of each other, and even use the bathroom in front of each other. There are no boundaries, nothing was off limits.  Even so, my younger sister was NOTORIOUS for shaving “down there” in the tub.

She was also notorious for not rinsing it out when she was done. Pubes. Everywhere. One day, she was taking a bath and I asked her to rinse when she was done, because I planned on taking a bath afterwards. She told me to screw off. So, I reached in my pants, snipped off a chunk of pubes, tossed them in the tub with her, and walked out.

Story credit: Reddit / hollypopasaurus

Hugs and Kisses

When I was in the seventh grade, the start-up my dad was a part of was failing miserably in no small part due to a straight-up crazy CEO. While at the CEO’s house, my dad observed the CEO’s toddler daughter picking up a piece of dog poop and licking it. So he picked her up and told her to give her dad a big kiss.

Story credit: Reddit / cubansquare

Toilet Troubles

My wife used to keep these little Godiva chocolates that she likes in her desk at work, but started noticing some of them missing and figured it must be someone from the overnight cleaning staff taking them. Fed up with losing her not-inexpensive treats, she decided to get revenge on the choco-thief in question.

My wife replaced the good chocolate with these little squares of chocolate laxatives that look just like real candies. The next morning, she saw several of the laxatives were gone. Mission accomplished. From that day forward, she was never missing another one of her good chocolates ever again. I imagine the toilet trouble was a lesson learned.

Story credit: Reddit / VictorBlimpmuscle

My Last Shift

I used to deliver pizza for Dominos. It was my last shift and there was this house that was always rude. For example, I called to asked what the house looked like and they said “I gave you the address” and hung up on me. They also never tipped. Well, I got to their house and they gave me a check for one cent less than what the total was.

I said, “I am going to need the extra penny.” They grumbled off and took their time, hoping I would give up, but I just sat there holding the pizza. They finally came back all ticked off and gave me the penny. No tip. This time I came up with an ingenious plan. When they gave me the penny, I chucked it out into the street and left. They saw me do it. It was SATISFYING.

Story credit: Reddit / Whosyabobby

Left Behind

When I was a kid, my younger brother and I would go for extra Mandarin lessons after school. Then we’d take the bus back. He would never press the bell for the bus to stop because he knew I’d freak out and press the bell rather than miss the stop. So, one day when he was sitting on the bus, but a row in front of me, I made sure to get off the stop before ours.

I laughed my butt off when I saw the bus miss not just our stop but disappear into the distance. Petty? Sure.

Story credit: Reddit

Just Like Dwight and Jim

I once had a colleague I hated because he was very condescending and really arrogant. So I put an extra Bluetooth receiver in his computer for a computer mouse, and kept the mouse in my drawer. I would just open my drawer and it would mess his stuff right up. Kept it going for like two months. He was about to destroy the world when I thought, “I better stop.”

Story credit: Reddit