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These Holiday Cards From Lonely Singles Put The “Forever” In “Forever Alone”

These Holiday Cards From Lonely Singles Put The “Forever” In “Forever Alone” November 21, 2017

lonely holiday cards from single people

Lonely holiday cards from single people can get pretty depressing. If you look at enough of them, that is. But they can also be really inspiring if you're feeling particularly alone around Christmastime. Some are profane and some are wholesome, and some just plain old weird, but here are the best single-people holiday cards the Internet has to offer (so far). 

That One Time Bridget Acquired A Raft

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

Drinking all that beer and climing safely into that raft with a mannequin couldn't have been easy, actually. The MANnequin looks festive, at least. 

John Cessna's 2016 Card Got Real Dark

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Imgur user
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John Cessna's going through some shit.

"Just Bridget"

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

This is the first card from viral sensation Bridget McCartney who has done these every year for the last six years. 

This One Cuts Right To The Chase

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

Internet hero Bridge McCartney's 2016 card doesn't pull any punches, gets dirtier than ever, and implies that she is covered in shit. Perfect.

This Horrifying Yet Adorable Faceswap

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: The Berry
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The dog face on her face makes it look like she's having a great time. 

This Is A Cat As The Tiny Little Baby Jesus

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User

This is the second cutest baby Jesus ever (the first being, of course, some random baby I saw at a church once who wouldn't stop giggling through an entire play). 

That's A Carrot And There's A Snowman In The Stall

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Imgur user

This looks fairly base and needlessly blue until you realize there's actually an entire snowman in the next stall. The words "Holy Night" written on the mirror are also a great bonus. Also where did he find a bathroom that disgusting? That's some great scouting!

Uh Oh! Who Dropped The Cookies?

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User
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"Oopsie! I dropped the cookies for Santa!" is what that hard-to-read text says. Also just the sentence "I dropped the cookies" with a naked man in a Santa hat is great. BONUS: I have those exact same socks. 

Getting Drunk And Passing Out In The Woods

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

This one is full of profanity and could not have made her parents very happy. Again, good thing she's wearing a Santa hat

A Whole Family Of The Same Woman

Lonely Christmas Cards from Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User

The dad really looks like a proud, trustworthy and faithful man. 

Another Convincing Fake Shoe Couple

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit.
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The slight lift of the heel in the first picture is a great touch and makes it seem like there's a real human being there. One with extremely weak ankles that would barely keep the average person upright, but human ones nonetheless. 

This Woman Who Hasn't Even Eaten One Chocolate Yet

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User

This woman's self-restraint knows no bounds. The wolf shirt looks like it's crying with her, which is great.

This Man And His Dog

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: The Berry

Daisy looks so well behaved!

He Matches The Costanza Portrait Perfectly

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User
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His use of pet names coupled with disgusting, dark images is always fantastic. "From your little angel." 

All Of Them Are The Same Person

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

She even signed it from all the different "hers." 

It's Great If You Accept That He Did This To Himself

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Imgur user

The Christmas tree ornament in his mouth is an amazing touch. But why are his pants down?

From "All" Of "Us"

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: JM Academy
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This Seth Rogen-looking man has a beautiful, stunning, and brilliant ghost girlfriend.

A Girl And Her PS4

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User

Taking a page out of Internet hero Bridget McCartney's book, but instead of a mannequin this lady is in love with her Playstation. Also her username suggests that she plays a lot of Skyrim... fellas.

Bridget + Chicken = 4Ever

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single Peopl
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

Bridget McCartney's 2015 card where she got a chicken from god knows where and decided to cuddle it for the holidays. There's another picture somewhere of her helping the chicken drink some wine, which is great. 

The Bottles In The Toilet Imply He's Drank Multiple Bottled IN The Bathroom

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Imgur user
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I love the motif of people wearing Santa hats in the worst possible places. The implication that they're trying to be at all festive while their life is falling apart is hilarious.

This Man Has A Beautiful Family

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Bridget McCartney

I mean what more do you need? Diverse baby, beautiful dog with a sweater that fits, and a handlebar mustache? This man has it all. 

This Is Legitimately Terrifying

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User

I really hope this guy doesn't have that mustache year-round.

Mr. Victor Clark And Another Costanza Picture

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User
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The fact that he has that on his wall next to him in multiple photos is great. Also he's holding up a mistletoe and is wearing black socks, so watch out ladies and fellas.

This Man Who Should Not Be Single

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

This dude could be a model. I mean he probably is, but damn. Maybe this dude should go out with that Bridget lady. 

Poor Brad

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit User

What is in his left hand? 

Just Takin' A Quick Break

IMAGE BY: Imgur user
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The Christmas tie really seals the deal along with the dirty bucket and toppled over pine tree in the background.

The Name Of The Girlfriend Is Great

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Imgur user

They're doing so many activities together! 

Wow, It's Actually A Guy Named "Thad"

Lonely Christmas Cards From Single People
IMAGE BY: Reddit.

Thad also has a ghost girlfriend and he matches his couch. Nice touch.