Baby Alive
Look, dolls of any kind are almost always creepy. Do they really need to be creepy and have normal bodily functions? Parents already have enough butts to wipe and mouths to feed; they don’t need fake plastic butts and mouths lying around too. Plus, anything that’s designed for things to go into it but can’t be washed is ripe for mold growth. This baby’s alive, all right: alive with multicellular fungi. Gross.