Arguments that are infuriating can quickly get under any person's skin. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that everyone will encounter the kinds of people who just love to escalate things. To express the absurdity of some of these arguments, people have taken to the internet to share their stories—and they do not disappoint!
My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially, we were really happy and excited about it. But then, it all goes wrong. She starts acting like a nut job. She gets angry and irritated at small things, insults me when she doesn’t like the food I make, starts acting insecure, and accuses me of losing my attraction for her.
For example, she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week. Well, I made chicken sandwiches. So she eats all the sandwiches, leaves me nothing, and told me that they tasted like garbage. If she didn’t like them, why did she have to eat everything?
When I asked her this, she told me that she was hungry. Ok fine. She does this every time. Eats everything I make and calls it garbage. I don’t argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I’m home.
So, yesterday, a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks. I rejected her and told her that I was married.
And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize. That’s when I learned the dark truth. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty.
So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and ask me out. And I passed. Yay?!!? I’m really angry. I’m done with her antics. Story credit: Reddit / Stupidtest_
Lying Through His Teeth
So, I do a lot of insurance work, and I try cases of all kinds, large and small. I had a small case, over about $2,600, from where a contractor drove into a retaining wall at this lady’s house and damaged it.
He wouldn’t fix it, and, after like eight months, the homeowner allowed her insurance company—my client—to have it fixed and then sent the bill to the contractor. Surprise surprise, the contractor wouldn’t pay.
There was lots of squabbling between my client and the contractor’s insurance company, who offered less than $500 on a $2,600 bill. We had a trial to settle it. I brought our claims adjuster and the homeowner.
The defense attorney brought the contractor and an adjuster from the contractor’s insurance company. Everything goes fine with questioning the homeowner, who was a sweet, middle-aged woman. She, like most people, knows nothing about the finer points of masonry. Then, we get to my claims adjuster.
He says, “Well, we paid $2,600 to have this fixed, but I’m not an expert on masonry.” However, he also discussed how estimates on masonry were made. I close my proof. Next, the contractor gets up on the stand. They go over what exactly happened with the retaining wall.
Then, he testifies that he “knows for a fact” that the $2,600 invoice includes overhead and profit and accuses my client of “running a scam.” The judge strikes the answer. I look down at the estimate for repair and grin from ear to ear.
It says, in bold print, “This amount does not include overhead or profit.” I look at the invoice. It’s the same amount as the estimate. This guy is lying through his teeth—and I’m going to catch him.
On cross examination, I show the contractor the invoice. “Sir, this is a $2,600 invoice for repair, correct.” “Yes.” Then I show him the estimate. “Sir, this is a $2,600 estimate for the same repairs, correct?” “Yes.” “They’re the same amount, correct?” “Yes.”
“Does the estimate say it does not include profit or overhead?” “Uh…” “Does it?” “Yes.” “Didn’t you just testify that you knew for a fact that the estimate included overhead?” “I don’t know.” “What don’t you know?”
At this point, the contractor is furious and beats his hand on the stand. “It doesn’t include overhead and profit, does it?” “I guess not.” “But you said it did, right?” I pass the witness. But I wasn’t done yet. Next, the defense attorney calls the contractor’s insurance company’s adjuster.
He testifies about how much he thought it should cost, like $500.00. I cross-examine him. “How did you make this estimate?” “I put the numbers into a computer program.” “How do you know what numbers to put in?” “Uh…” “Are you a contractor?” “No.” “Are you an expert in masonry?” “No.”
“Have you ever worked in construction?” “No.” “And the computer programs spits out what you put in?” “Yes.” “And you can just put in whatever numbers you want?” “Yes.” “And it makes an estimate based on the numbers you pick?” “Yes.” “But you don’t know anything about masonry?” “No.”
The adjuster just testified that he made up the estimate. Defense closes proof. And the judge takes the matter under advisement. So let’s recap all this glory.
The contractor lied and was discredited, and the adjuster for the contractor admitted he just made everything up. We got $1,000 out of the trial. Less than half of what we sought but double what the defendant argued it should be. It was a win in my book. Story credit: Reddit / Esq
My insufferable manager followed me after work to my second job because she didn’t believe I had one and was just using it as an excuse to get out early. My manager at my second job said, “There’s some crazy lady banging on the doors yelling your name.”
So, I grabbed my uniform from my bag, opened the door, threw it in her face, and told her to shove off. Story credit: Reddit / cybermericorp
A very grumpy high-society woman came to the store saying her brand new 3,000-dollar Microsoft surface bought by her husband was defective because she could not get internet when she was on the move.
I quickly realized she was talking about Wi-Fi, so I tried explaining to her how Wi-Fi actually works. Boy, was that a mistake! I told her that she could not use her Wi-Fi outside her house, but that she could share her smartphone internet connection. She would have none of it.
She said I was lying to her and making fun of her. She even asked to speak to my manager, who then proceeded to tell her the exact same thing, almost to the word. She left screaming. Story credit: Reddit / NeededMonster
Greasing The Parts
At the time, I was the front desk receptionist at a car dealership that had an attached service and parts department. I dealt with all kinds of people, but this one customer particularly left me dumbfounded. It was around 7 pm, about an hour after the service and parts department had closed.
The sales department was open until 8 pm, so I was just going about my business as usual. A woman walked up to my desk and slammed a 19-liter jug of motor oil down on the counter. That scared me since I was looking away at the time. She immediately demanded that I sell her the oil.
I was confused and just kind of…looked at her for a moment. There was no checkout counter at my desk as we were in an entirely different part of the building. Also, where did she get that? The parts department was closed and the window into the storeroom was locked with a fold-down metal cage.
I finally got myself together and told her that the parts department was closed and that I would be unable to sell anything. Her reaction was priceless. She immediately got angry, blowing her top while gesturing to the closest window demanding that I give her the oil.
I suggested for her to go to another shop nearby, as they were open until 9 pm. Surely, she could get oil there. She didn’t like that answer and scoffed at me. “I need Kia brand oil, for my Kia brand car.” She said it incredibly matter-of-factly and stared at me like I was the dumbest person on the planet.
That again caught me off guard. I have pretty bad anxiety, so I was still mentally and physically reeling from her slamming the bottle down and I was not getting very collected thoughts.
I tried to explain that any brand of oil would do and that I’d be happy to help her figure out what would work best so she could pick it up there…but she just kept shaking her head at me.
Finally, she shouted out that she would just come back the following day, that I had been absolutely no help, and stormed out. I noticed then that she had a kid with her. What a great example she set for her children.
I did figure out that she had pulled the oil jug down off of a display case in the service department. That was extra amusing to me, imagining someone taking something off of a clearly not-for-sale display shelf because she was mad. Story credit: Reddit / Space_Snakes_
What A Pain
I have rheumatoid arthritis, a condition that causes severe chronic pain. I take a narcotic pain medication as part of pain management, but yesterday, my doctor decided to increase the dose. That’s when it all went wrong.
My pharmacy did not stock the medication in this dose, and neither did any other local pharmacies, so my doctor called around, and found this boutique-like compound pharmacy in an upscale neighborhood that had it. He called the pharmacist, explained the situation, and sent me over there.
The moment I walked through the door, I was greeted with hostility. The pharmacist angrily asked what I was doing there because he had not seen me before, and when I told him that my doctor had called him, he said he did not remember.
When I showed him my prescription, he rolled his eyes and said, “Oh you like narcotics. Give me your ID and insurance card.” This irritated me, but I complied.
When he pulled up my patient profile, he ran a background check and asked why I was trying to fill this prescription when I had gotten one two weeks ago. I explained that I had been given that medication, and my doctor was giving me another prescription to increase the dose.
His response? “Well, I’ll see to it that you won’t see this prescription until you bring the old one back. You’re probably selling these pills to your little friends.”
I was frustrated, but I told him that was no problem, and that I’d have to go back home to get the old prescription and that I would return in a day or two. But he wasn’t finished.
As I was walking out, I heard him mutter, “She probably has to get those pills back from her crackhead friends.” This was a day ago, but I’m still very hurt and angry. I never fill CII prescriptions early, never misuse them, and I was nothing but polite to that man. Story credit: Reddit / Geodudette20014
No Parking Zone
I lived in a duplex that shared one large driveway with another duplex. Parking could be tight, but all of us cooperated and made the best of it, except for one woman.
She left a note on my car two days after my husband and I moved in, telling me not to park there because she didn’t like that I was “in front of her door.” I was at least 15 feet away from her house and that was the only spot I could park in without blocking anyone else. I left her a note back explaining this.
She banged on my door at 11 PM and screamed at us, calling me the c-word, and demanding that I get rid of my car. We eventually shut the door on her. The nasty notes persisted and were ignored.
I confirmed with my landlord that this is where I should be parking and he said yes, ignore her. Then, she started barricading that part of the driveway, so that every day when I got home, I would have to get out of my car and move her stuff before I could park.
This became a real pain in the neck when I broke my elbow. She used her trash can, a pedestal with a birdcage on it, and a bench to block the driveway and I had to move all of them to park. I started just picking them up and gently moving them towards her porch. Then she came up with something else.
She started putting Vaseline on them. I grabbed her trash can and got a gloppy handful of Vaseline. Sure enough, everything else was coated in it as well. I decided to use my foot to push everything up against her house. Mind you, nothing was damaged or knocked over, just moved.
She called law enforcement and reported that she saw me vandalizing her things by picking them up and throwing them into her house, kicking stuff over, and smashing them into the ground. The officer was angry. He thought that I was the teenage girlfriend of the guy who lived there, not the adult leaseholder.
So he pounded on the door yelling, “Sheriff’s department! Come outside!” We went outside. He pointed to me and asked, “Are you the girlfriend!?” I resisted the urge to say something snarky in response to what I found to be a misogynistic and demeaning statement.
He went off on me saying, “Your behavior needs to stop right now, I don’t know where you’re from, but in [town] we do not tolerate this kind of disrespect blah blah blah!” Well, he didn’t know what he was in for. 15 minutes later, once we’d gotten a word in edgewise, he changed his tune pretty quick.
He realized he’d been misled by our neighbor. We told him we were sorry he got dragged into a petty parking dispute. He told us he’s been dragged into stupider stuff and told us that if she puts up the barricades again, to call them instead of moving it ourselves, to protect ourselves from false allegations.
In fact, he wanted us to call any time she does anything to harass us. She also received a mean letter from the landlord telling her to knock it off.
We got a mean note from her saying, “The reason I don’t want you parking by my door is because you are trash! Your druggie psychopath girlfriend runs amok vandalizing! I want nothing to do with you,” among other things.
We called law enforcement and she got spoken to by them, and the landlord sent her another mean letter. Hopefully, that’ll be the end of it. Story credit: Reddit / stuck_at_starbucks
Listening from the next room to my parents arguing about my father’s internet history having dirty websites in it, followed by a full-on argument about their declining sex life, was pretty rough on me when I was 12 years old. Story credit: Reddit / lord_fartulax
I hate wedding culture. My fiancée and I thought we would escape the drama and money by having a small thing. Well, family started trying to throw money at us to make it bigger and more spectacular. We were surprised, but it was a good surprise. Then the demands started coming out.
They wanted this, they wanted that, they wanted this person to come, these colors, dresses can’t do this, this person has to be flower girl, this person HAS to be a groomsman, etc., etc.
Suddenly it didn’t feel like our wedding, but an excuse for our families to have a family reunion. We put our foot down and said: Thank you all for your kindness and generosity when it comes to our wedding. Unfortunately, it looks like we may not have been on the same page as the rest of you.
When we were offered money for this wedding, we did not realize it came with strings attached. With so many requests and so many demands from people we didn’t expect would think they had a say in our wedding, we have decided to give everyone their money back.
Our understanding of what a gift is must be very different. If you would like to give us money without strings attached or requests or demands, we will gracefully accept it.
But if you believe a gift should come with stipulations, we must regretfully and politely decline. This has caused an epic storm. To the point where I have people saying they will never come to our wedding (honestly, not the worst thing in the world), that we are spoiled, all this.
My parents are rather upset about it, but my fiancée’s family (who never made any demands and gave us a small cash gift) said we did the right thing. We are halfway to canceling the whole party and just absconding into the wilderness to do the wedding the way we want. Story credit: Reddit / weddingofmy
Mother Knows Best
I’m 19 years old and I have a three-week-old baby girl. I do still live with my parents, but since I pay rent equally, they say I can have just as much of a say in who comes and goes from the house as they do. I’ve never actually taken advantage of this rule until recently.
I have a brother who’s 26 and his wife is 24. They’re “crunchy parents” to an eight-month-old. They use reusable wipes/nappies, think formula is the epitome of evil, the list just goes on. I’m the complete opposite: pacifiers, supplementing with formula due to low supply, disposable wipes, and nappies.
They are completely against the products I use and often give me things like my sister-in-law’s breastmilk in bags, disposable nappies their child has grown out of, etc.
I’ve used some but it’s not really my cup of tea. On Monday night, my brother and sister-in-law were minding my baby for me since it was my birthday and my baby’s father (not together, very close friends and co-parents) took me to get some dinner in one of my favorite fast food places.
It was great and really relaxing. When I got home that evening, my sister-in-law said that she did some cleaning and “threw out anything I don’t need.” This immediately gave me red flags.
They were in a hurry to get out the door and left almost immediately. When I went into the nursery, every disposable nappy and wipe pack was gone and replaced with some reusable cloth ones.
Same with my formula. There were eight tubs and all of it was gone. I’m not able to replace them at the moment and solely breastfeeding isn’t sustainable for us. I was extremely angry and I just turned my phone off to avoid being mean to my sister-in-law.
She and my brother came over yesterday to collect something they forgot and that was when I confronted her. I told her she has to replace everything she dumped.
When she said she can’t afford to, I said fine, just get out and don’t come back until I’ve been reimbursed or everything is replaced with the original items.
My brother thinks I’m being a massive jerk. Our parents think I’m being completely reasonable here but they think telling her essentially not to come back is taking it too far. Story credit: Reddit / CrunchySiL
Think Before You Speak
This whole saga started because my husband took my last name. A couple of weeks ago, he got his workplace to change it, and his co-workers found out. About half of them think this is the funniest thing ever and about half are deeply offended.
This one woman, Brenda, is in the offended half, and has made that clear. He and I are in a group chat with his co-workers where we organize carpooling. It is very helpful to us, so we can’t leave the chat.
Since he changed his name, my husband and I have been dealing with a lot of dumb jokes in the chat, which we have been mostly ignoring. Yesterday Brenda and I got into a bit of a spat.
I messaged the group asking if someone could take my husband home since I wouldn’t be back from work until late and needed the car. One of his other co-workers agreed, and I thought that was that.
Brenda messages the group saying, “Maybe if you spent less time at work and more time being a wife, your husband wouldn’t come into work with dirty shirts.” I took this as a bad joke initially. My husband is a rural mail carrier, so his shirts look like shirts worn by someone in 90-degree heat on dusty roads.
I do wash them, but there’s only so much to be done. Me: I could make cleaning those shirts my full-time job and it wouldn’t do much. Brenda: You won’t be married very long if you keep trying to be the man in the relationship. I’d be embarrassed as a wife if I did so little for my husband.
Me: Well I work more hours and pay the bills, so I think he can Oxy-Clean his own shirts if it’s so important. Brenda: Maybe you should learn to take proper care of your husband or you’ll find yourself divorced.
Me: I’ll let you know when I need relationship advice from someone who is 42 and single. Now apparently Brenda is going around and saying that I “mocked her for being single in her 40s.”
I don’t care if someone is single in their 40s, but I think it’s absolute idiocy that she can call me a bad wife but I can’t point out she has no frame of reference. Story credit: Reddit / CourageClassic6141
Equal But Different
I graduated from college four years ago and live at home with my parents. My sister graduated two years ago and also lives with my parents. We both got jobs pretty much straight out of college. I pay my parents $800/month in rent since my first paycheck. I’m really emotionally charged right now.
Last night my parents were talking loudly about their financial problems in the living room. I overheard and I offered to help by paying more in rent (I was thinking $900-1,000) since it covers utilities/phone/internet. My parents were grateful.
Now, prior to this, I never asked my how much sister pays in rent. I always figured my parents charged us the same. So absentmindedly I asked a follow-up question. Me: How much is [my sister] paying [for rent]? My mom: Nothing. (Long pause.)
Me: What do you mean she doesn’t pay rent? My Dad (visibly angry): Your sister doesn’t pay a thing! My dad explained how my sister recently bought a brand new car and hasn’t paid insurance on it so my dad had to pay for it. She doesn’t pay rent. She doesn’t pay utilities/phone/anything.
So for the past two years, she’s been living rent-free while I’ve been paying my parents. So later that night we had a family sit-down talk. My sister didn’t want to pay rent, especially at how much I was paying. She offered $100.
My parents suggested she pay $300, I pay $800, which my sister and I both rejected. The conversation ended with this: Sister: SCREW YOU. I’M TRYING TO LIVE MY LIFE. So my sister storms off to her room and it’s now me and my parents in the living room.
I’m extremely upset at this because it’s massively unfair. My mom is upset that everyone’s angry at each other and my dad’s angry my sister won’t pay rent and she won’t move out, and both my parents don’t want the authorities involved. So I say my part before leaving.
Me: I’m not going to pay any more rent until she does. (It’s only fair right?) And if I do pay rent, I pay whatever she’s paying. My mom: What if she pays $300 and you pay $800— Me: No. My mom: But, we really need the money… Me: That’s too bad. I get up and go off to my room.
So this morning my dad comes in tells me that I’M A JERK FOR NOT PAYING RENT. That I should pay rent because it’s the right thing to do and all this. I’m like, “What the heck? Make my sister pay rent!”
My mom, who’s listening in.: “You’ve seen her! She won’t listen to us!” Me: WELL THAT’S TOO BAD. My mom (really angry): WELL WE WOULDN’T HAVE THIS PROBLEM IF YOU DIDN’T TRY TO MAKE YOUR SISTER PAY RENT.
That was the last straw that blew it for me. I slammed the door on my parents. As I’m typing this my parents are in the living room discussing how both their children are rotten. Story credit: Reddit
Used and Excused
This happened just a few hours ago. I am a 19-year-old man. On Thursday, a person I had a major crush on in high school (but who rejected me) messaged me out of the blue.
She had never contacted me without my contacting her first, and at one point I realized she had had me blocked on social media, so I found it odd that she was suddenly being friendly.
After sending a couple of greetings/questions about how I’ve been, she said that she was going to have some people over and wanted to know if I would get the drinks. The drinking age where we are is 19, and she and the people who were going to chill were all 18.
I thought it was silly that my being a month older meant I could buy drinks and they couldn’t, so I said I would love to go. She said, “Thanks, I’ll pick you up at seven!” 7 o’clock rolled around and she texted me to say she was in front of my house.
I went out dressed and ready to chill with some people, and she drove me to the store. When we got there, I asked what she wanted me to get, and she told me to get Budweiser. I hid my disappointment as well as I could, but it was her party so I went in and bought two cases of 24.
I got back in the car and said, “Let’s party.” She went eerily quiet. I noticed that she wasn’t driving towards her neighborhood, but rather back towards mine. I thought she had moved or something, but didn’t want to press the issue. When she turned down my street I finally figured it out.
She was being purposefully vague about the invitation because she wanted me to get the drinks but she wanted a way out when she told me I wasn’t actually invited in the first place.
She stopped in front of my house, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, and said “Thanks!” in her best voice. I asked when she was going to tell me I wasn’t invited. She feigned surprise and said that she never intended to invite me in the first place. I sat in silence for a long awkward minute.
Then I did the only thing I could to regain power. I picked up the drinks and walked towards my front door. She got out of her car and frantically tried to re-invite me to the party, but I told her that what she did was the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me.
I opened my front door, slammed it a bit too hard, and went back to my room. Now I have text messages from all of her friends and her asking me why I’m being such a jerk.
I don’t think I’m a jerk for reacting the way I did, but if you haven’t figured it out, I’m not amazing socially…so I’m not sure. Story credit: Reddit / irrationaloffer
I am dealing with a housemate with a wickedly bad temper. Her boyfriend is an old friend of mine and I wanted to help them out since they were living in her mom’s house last year. I did not know her well at all. Everything she’s subjected me to has made me regret ever trying to help.
She wields her temper like it’s a weapon, and any time you try to express what you or someone else is feeling, she immediately argues and invalidates you. She has told her partner she is going to kill herself in order to win arguments.
Often times the things she is spouting as an argument are projections of her behavior or projections of her temper. She does not respect the boundaries of others, but demands that her boundaries be respected and any conversation to find compromise and even ground is met with anger.
Her lack of control over her words, once she’s triggered, are some of the meanest, most vitriolic things I’ve ever heard from anyone.
My partner, who was her friend and got her a job at her work, also had her own falling out with this person and now won’t come over to my house due to fear of this person’s behavior. I am exhausted. I probably have to deal with this for another 2 months. Story credit: Reddit / Double-The-Fupa
Fight Like An Adult
My mom’s entire argument tactic was to interrupt the other person as soon as they open their mouth. It didn’t matter if you were calm, reasonable, and respectful. The moment sound came out of you, she would come in with greater volume.
She usually didn’t have much to say, so she would literally repeat herself just to interrupt you. Even if you paused and let her speak, if she was out of stuff to say, she would wait quietly until you try to talk again then interrupt you with something she already said.
She wasn’t even subtle about what she was doing. She was prideful about how great of a debater she was. She thought this childish and disrespectful thing actually made her strong and respectable.
I don’t think she ever realized that she didn’t actually win any arguments but simply wore the other person down until they gave up on a constructive adult conversation with her. Story credit: Reddit / Calbinan
Work Harder, Not Smarter
A conversation with an OPS manager went something like this, “We should reorganize the warehouse racks so that the cases with the greatest velocity are at the top.” The reply: “Excuse me, but do you perhaps mean ‘mass’ or even ‘volume’?”
Their retort: “No, I mean velocity. Don’t insult my intelligence again.” The argument continued: “Okay, but none of these boxes are moving at the moment. Their velocity is 0 – across the board.”
It finished with: “You and I are going to talk with HR.” The same ops manager a couple of weeks later said: “What do you think you’re doing?” “Just moving boxes. It’s the only thing that we do in this warehouse.” The manager said: “You’re not on process.
One Best Way is that we pick up, label, then move one box at a time.” I said: “You’re saying that if I label 5 of these boxes, each of them less than 1lbs., then move them to this cart all at once, I will be performing my job at a slower pace than if I did each and every one individually?”
They said: “Yes. You are expected to be on process and this is the best process.” I replied: “I don’t quite see how the wasted energy of turning back and forth between the pallet and the cart more than necessary results in more efficient work. Could you give me a demonstration?”
They said, “No. It’s your job to move boxes, not mine.” Finally, I said: “I… Fine. In my honor, I will henceforth move every single box with the exact process you just detailed.”
A few days later he and my area manager pulled me aside because my production had dropped by 43%, which honestly is a testament to how hard I was trying to actually make his “process” work. Walmart is a horrible place to work. Story credit: Reddit / King_Sarathos
One Man's Trash is Another Man's Trash
My family has this deceptive maneuver where they slowly change the argument to something they can make you wrong about, picking the one detail they know can turn the argument in their favor and slowly pivot the conversation away from what the real argument is about and into a situation where now they’re right and I’m the one who’s wrong for asking them to stop trying to give us their junk.
All I want is for them to ask before dropping stuff off in our house because we don’t have room for their old flower pots. We don’t want them, but just ask us first.
Well, that got out of hand. In that situation, they make you feel like a jerk because beggars can’t be choosers and we should just be happy that we’re getting stuff for free.
But we didn’t beg for anything and they just brought this trash over because they didn’t have the room for it. What makes them think we do? Their house is twice as big. Ok. I’ll stop. Story credit: Reddit / NLMusic10213
I married my husband a year ago. His mom is snoopy and annoying. She can’t help it, that is “just how she is,” as my dear in-laws say. My husband and I purchased a new house recently, but my mother-in-law kept pushing to get an emergency key from us.
She promised that she would only use it in an “emergency,” but at our last apartment, she kept walking in on us at all hours of the day, sometimes in very compromising positions.
I just couldn’t trust her, so I sent her a fake key (after she kept pushing) and she had a smug smile on her face after I hand-delivered it to her. Days go by, and then at Christmas dinner, she angrily called me out about this fake key. She shamed me for doing this in front of everyone, but I knew I had her.
Defending myself, I asked how she found out it was fake. She said she came over a few days ago at 4:00 pm while my husband and I were out.
I reminded her, “Didn’t you promise you wouldn’t use it unless there’s an emergency? So you tried to get in when there was no emergency and you broke the promise you made to us?” She looked red in the face. My other family members started staring and some even laughed at her.
She suddenly got up from her seat and rushed into the kitchen where she had a huge meltdown so loud the next-door neighbors must’ve heard.
Literally, I’ve never heard a 60-year-old woman throw a tantrum like that. Needless to say, dinner went awkwardly after that and my husband and his sister were giving me looks. My husband went off on me in the car and said I lied, manipulated, humiliated, and exposed his mom.
He said he wouldn’t have let me get away with it had he known. We had an argument and he is demanding I apologize to his mom for my childish behavior and for ruining Christmas dinner for the whole family. Story credit: Reddit / Checkinout2022
No Son of Mine
My daughter-in-law and son have three children aged three years, two years, and four months.
My son convinced her to be a stay-at-home mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was without telling her (which I today found out)
That our arrangement was everything before 9 am and after 5 pm was split 50/50, and I got Sundays off entirely as a mom.
On my last visit, I noticed my daughter-in-law was struggling mentally so me, my sister, and her girlfriend pooled our money together and paid for a spa weekend for them while we’d babysit the kids for her birthday last weekend.
I was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my daughter-in-law rang me. As soon as I picked up, I knew something was very wrong.
She was holding back tears and said they wouldn’t be going to the spa weekend because my son’s friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up instead. I pressed her a little and was talking a little to her about her situation.
That’s when she came clean about him doing no chores, having no date nights, and her basically doing all of the child care because “that’s what stay-at-home moms do.”
I was honestly disgusted. I convinced her to drop off the kids to me and bring a friend to the spa. I even dipped into my savings to give her $500 to buy herself something nice. When she dropped off the kids, I begged her to tell me where my son was.
After five minutes of me pleading, she told me he was at the bar. She left for the spa while I left for this bar. She knew I was going there while my sister was taking care of the kids. Here’s where I might be the jerk. I walked in, sat down next to the group, and asked my son:
“Did I fail you as a mother or was it your father because we both thought your partner comes before your friends.” My son is angry at me for humiliating him and sticking my nose in his marriage. Maybe I should have stayed out, I don’t know. Story credit: Reddit / Classic-Goose-8228
I Just Let Them Keep Fighting
My 20-year-old daughter and her fiancé are currently staying with us. I love my daughter but she is very difficult, and I can’t stand her fiancé. I gave them a deadline to move out because I can’t take this anymore. They got into a massive fight the other day while my wife was out.
I guess a pair of my wife’s underwear got in with their laundry and she thought he was cheating. I think the fact she immediately jumped to cheating shows how bad their relationship is.
She was waving the underwear around and I recognized them because they had a floral print, but I just let this ridiculous fight go on. My wife came home after about 30 minutes and said they were hers. My wife asked if I didn’t realize they were hers and I accidentally laughed.
My daughter burst into tears and won’t talk to me. Her fiancé said we’re messed up and left the house, but my wife thought it was funny. Story credit: Reddit
Running Out of Time
I’m the VP of Sales at a software company, and one of our sales development rep’s parents passed at the beginning of April. Sadly they were involved in a car crash and both lost their lives. Now, the employee in question is a very young, 22-year-old guy and has been with us for about 10 months now.
He’s a great employee and we were thinking about promotions in the next ~6 months for him. His job is a high-paying one for a new grad, about ~90k with commission and base, so we expect a lot from this position. Because of the accident, we let him take a one-month paid leave of absence from work.
It took a heartbreaking twist. He’s returned a few weeks ago and his performance is severely lacking. He’s super unmotivated, not cold calling, not reaching out to prospects for the last two-three weeks enough since he’s come back.
Our whole management team has noticed this and we decided to let him go because we feel like he’d need months and months to be able to produce again and we just can’t wait that long. We called him into a meeting on Friday afternoon and gave him the bad news.
He was very calm and very rude about it. Told us to go screw ourselves, got up and went to his desk, grabbed his few things, and left.
I thought this was very unprofessional and again, extremely rude. I told my boyfriend about all of this and he said we are the jerks with no hearts. Story credit: Reddit / Resident_Occasion
I’m a union leader so I have had my share of arguing with stupid people and it’s not always the employer. Though I’ve had moments with the employer the most memorable are with my members. I have a couple of members that I like to refer to as having the “what if” personality.
When on their back foot they’ll ask you what if this happens or if that happens. Do they have a policy for this or what about this? It’s like you’re talking to an adult version of the two-year-old child who is constantly asking why.
They turn what could be a five-minute conversation into a two-week-long conversation. My best experience of this was with a guy who would constantly come up with an extremely unlikely scenario and wanted the employer to have a policy written up detailing how he should respond in each case.
I kinda just gave up arguing with him as each item turned into a multiple-hour session of me patiently trying to explain to him that the employer doesn’t have to tell you specifically how to do your job as a tradesmen.
That the earthquake has a 1 in a billion chance of happening here is not an OHS issue and that a generalized emergency response plan is an acceptable level of planning for that event.
You should know how to do your typical work tasks that are related to your trade safely. I informed him that if he’s concerned about it then he has to follow the OHS process. In Canada, we have a process for handling OHS concerns.
Essentially it starts with the supervisor, then it goes to a local OHS committee, and then it goes to the site manager, and then if there is still no resolution it goes to the federal/provincial level for their final say.
This guy pushed it all the way through, with each step denying his concerns, only for the federally-appointed safety officer to inform him that his employer was going above and beyond.
That my member’s concern wasn’t valid. He didn’t accept that as an answer but he couldn’t take it any further other than them to just keep rephrasing his question. The employer eventually found a way to lay him off because of lack of work. I wonder why they did that?
In Canada, you also have the right to refuse to do unsafe work but this guy wouldn’t refuse to do the work because he felt safe enough to do it. But would still push his concerns up the chain. Story credit: Reddit / lookadruid2020
The Animal Whisperer
I was vegan for a few years and joined a club-type organization. We would swap recipes, talk about new products and just hang out. Most of the people were pretty awesome, but like everything, some were a bit loony.
There was this one girl, who thought all animals could choose to be vegan. In her opinion, a wolf could just decide one day, “I want to avoid animal products.” So she would talk about wanting to go speak to wild animals about the benefits of a vegan diet.
I tried to tell her that animals really couldn’t just go vegan and she suggested that we feed them soy-based meat alternatives. We all tried to help her understand that animals can’t and she refused to believe us. She eventually stopped coming to the get-togethers.
Thankfully, she refused to own pets, so no animals directly suffered from her beliefs. They just had to listen to her talk when she went out converting. Story credit: Reddit / TexiforniaDreaming
A friend tried to put aluminum foil in the microwave, I, and literally every other person we asked, from friends to complete strangers, tried to explain that it does not end well. They strongly believed, and I quote, “It just makes a little light show in the microwave.”
My friend wanted to put food on top of aluminum foil, then put it in the microwave for 30-60 seconds. Story credit: Reddit / Sunburnt-Vampire
Like Mother, Like Daughter
I had an ex argue with me over which would weigh more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers.
We went back and forth forever while I tried to explain it to her. It did not help when her mother chimed in with, “What about a pound of wet feathers?!” The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Story credit: Reddit / Djlionking
I had an argument with someone about whether or not electricity runs through phone lines. After a while, I asked her, “Well then, what do you think runs through phone lines?” She replied, “Phone Stuff.” Story credit: Reddit / worktempthrowaway
Doing Their Job For Them
I’m still a little mad about this one. I was in a marketing class and we had a big project to present about why someone should or should not go with a certain marketing strategy. We had group A argue the for side and my group argue the against side.
Well, group A went first and they gave every detail of the entire argument, including all of the pros and the cons. They gave every detail, neither making it look good or bad because they gave both sides of the argument.
So, when we went up and presented only the negatives, we got criticized for looking like we didn’t know the full picture. But the whole point was to argue why it wouldn’t work. Story credit: Reddit / tynorex
I got into an argument with a guy who swore red cars were faster. His rationale was “because Ferraris are always painted red,” which is also not true. At first, I thought he was just messing with me, but no, he really believed it and nothing I could say would change his mind.
I finally gave up on arguing with him and told him he was right. Story credit: Reddit / saurusmaximus
My step-daughter, Madeline, was about a year old when I married her mother, Jessica. Madeline’s father passed before she was born. Madeline is currently 15, and she’s rebelling at almost everything. She did something bad, so while picking her up, I set a punishment up for her.
Then she said “You’re not my dad. I don’t have to follow you.” Honestly, I got a bit hurt from that. But I understand that she didn’t mean it, and that she’d probably change. I just replied, “I’m still your guardian for the next three years, and as long as you’re in my house, you have to follow my rules.”
That happened about two days ago. So our family was going grocery shopping when Madeline said “I’m hungry. I need food.”
I decide to be extremely cheeky and say “Hi Hungry, I’m not your dad.” My son just started to laugh uncontrollably. My daughter was just quiet with embarrassment. And my wife was berating me and telling me “Not to stoop down to her level.”
I honestly thought it was a funny dad joke, and my son agrees, but who knows. Story credit: Reddit / DadJokeAITA
This was recent—someone who doesn’t run tried to tell me that running on a treadmill doesn’t count because you can just lift up your legs and that the track does all the work.
I tried to explain that while it isn’t 100% the same as running outside, your body wants to stay relative to the moving track so yes, you are propelling yourself forward, and many outside runners—myself included!—run on treadmills at some point for training when the weather isn’t cooperating.
I’m pretty sure we would be able to tell if we weren’t exerting any effort on the treadmill. He said that people who run on treadmills are lazy and we are all wasting our time pretending to work out. Okay buddy. Story credit: Reddit / _banana_panda_
It's Called The Past For a Reason
I’ll be finishing up my history degree in a few months. I really shouldn’t be arguing my subject with people who’ve never had a reason to pick up a history book, but I was stuck with a buddy of mine for several hours a day for the better part of last year, and we got around to talking about pretty much everything.
At one point, for one reason or another, we got to talking about the Comanche Indians. I mentioned a common misconception, and he countered with a stereotype that he learned in grade school.
We went back and forth for a while, and I tried to reference books on the topic, but his response was always to restate the same stereotype and say, “I’m part Cherokee, so I know.”
Eventually, when he clearly had nothing left to say, he asked the most annoying question possible in that situation: “Yeah, well were you there?” How do you even respond to that?
I definitely wasn’t “there,” but neither was anyone else alive today, and accepting that argument would pretty much void all study of history. I pretty much gave up.
He’s not a dumb guy, but history is clearly not his field, and there was no way anything was going to come of the argument. Story credit: Reddit / FutureBlackmail
Unplugging From This Conversation
My wife and I have a similar conversation almost daily. Why can’t I watch Netflix? The Internet connection is down. But the Netflix box says it’s connected. It’s connected to the Wifi but the Wifi isn’t connected to the Internet. But they’re the same thing!
Umm… I now turn off the router when the Internet connection drops so I don’t have this conversation. Story credit: Reddit / Avium
Facts Over Feeling
This happened with my mom on several occasions, with the worst one being when I tried to explain to her how the wifi works. She insisted that it was slow because, “Valkyrja, your computer is always on, and it sucks the data, too.” It didn’t work on data and she didn’t believe me when I told her so.
“Valkyrja, you’re always playing games.” I play single player games 99% of the time. I didn’t know very well how it worked, and I actually don’t remember anything at the moment, but back then I actually did some research on the Internet.
I also asked my boyfriend, who is a programmer, repairs computers, and is generally more comfortable than me with this kind of stuff, so he could point me to places where I could find the information I needed about it, then I went back to my mom and explained how the wifi worked.
After aggravating me by interrupting and telling me I was wrong while I was trying to explain, she, very infuriatingly so, told me, “Well, can’t I have my opinion? I am ENTITLED to have opinions!” I went berserk. I couldn’t do it anymore.
I just screamed back, “You can’t have an opinion on facts! If this is how it works this is how it works!” It wasn’t the best way to react but she has a knack for making me so irrationally angry that I just reacted like that. Story credit: Reddit / _Valkyrja_
Agree to Disagree
They kept insisting that they were entitled to their opinion over something that was a fact. For some reason, telling her that her opinion didn’t sway the truth just made her double down. The situation— I mentioned that a certain YouTube personality was gay.
I said it as a matter of fact and not to be mean. The guy has mentioned being gay on his channel several times. This girl got mad and kept denying he was into dudes.
This was despite me pointing out that he openly identified as gay. She cited that it was “her opinion” to validate the dude’s sexuality on what she wanted to believe. I wanted to slam my head into a desk. Story credit: Reddit / Careless_Hellscape
When I was working waiting tables they changed scheduling systems and the times printed were in military time. My shift said I started at 10:50, so that is when I showed up—10:50 AM.
At the end of my shift, my manager handed me a write up to sign for being late. I refused because I was there at my scheduled time, 10:50 AM. He then tried to tell me I was supposed to be in at 10:30.
This is when I go and grab the paper schedule and point to where it says 10:50, clearly written. At this point, I start to notice that all of the start times were either at the top of an hour—1:00, 13:00, etc—or at the hour and :50.
When making the schedule, he thought that :50 in military time was a half-hour and would not listen to me when I explained, as clearly as I could, that it was the hours that changed, not the minutes.
He still put that write up in my file. Story credit: Reddit / Beezo514
The Nerdiest Argument
I had an argument about whether or not Lord of the Rings is a sci-fi movie. There were 3-4 people out of 10 vehemently claiming that because the laws of physics were mostly obeyed, the movies had scientific elements and are to be considered sci-fi films.
We were practically screaming at each other for the better part of two hours. Story credit: Reddit / Shakeweight_All-Star
Put The Brakes On
My brother made the statement that when you pressed the top of the accelerator pedal, you went faster, as opposed to the bottom.
It took me four hours to explain to him that it doesn’t matter where on the pedal you press, however far down it is determines what speed you’re going to be traveling at. Story credit: Reddit / Monowedge
My much older sister called me saying that her work had an emergency and she needs to get there ASAP and needed me to watch her kids because “no one else can.” I rushed over there just to find her husband locked in his game room playing video games.
I asked her why she called me over if he was home and she said he didn’t want to “babysit” because it was his only day off. Sister left, and I started hanging with the kids. I was changing the baby’s diaper and the other kids wanted a snack.
I told them to go ask their dad to make them a snack since the baby had a pretty big dump and it was going to take me a while to clean him up. I can’t believe what he said. Their dad sent them back upstairs and told them to ask me again.
After cleaning the baby up I made the kids a snack and their dad came out to eat and told me not to let the kids interrupt him on his day off. (By the way, he works part-time from home, six days a week).
I kind of snapped at him and told him it was MY day off too and that he’s a useless father and husband if his wife has to rely on her teenage sister rather than her own husband.
He started telling me I was disrespectful and didn’t understand how hard parenting is, and I told him he clearly doesn’t understand how hard it is either, since he considers parenting his own children “babysitting.”
He ended up kicking me out and apparently my sister was forced to come home because he told her she needed to figure it out since I’m her sister.
I feel like I may be the jerk here because my sister is mad at me, her husband is mad at me, my mom is mad at me for causing drama, but my dad thinks it’s funny and agrees with me. I definitely didn’t need to call him names but I just hate this guy so much.
We have argued about things in the past as well so we already don’t have a great relationship. My sister is saying I need to apologize to him and he is threatening to never let me into the kids’ lives if I keep disrespecting him. Story credit: Reddit / Throwaway9876-57
The Queen of Karens
It was a dispute in which I helped a low-income man seek full custody of his children. His ex was representing herself, and refused to communicate with me in any way. Apparently, she thought she knew the law, and said she didn’t have to talk to me without a lawyer.
No amount of explaining that I was a lawyer, not an officer, got me anywhere. Come hearing day, she hadn’t submitted anything to the court, and decided that she should get whatever she wanted simply by telling the judge to do it.
She was, after all, the “mother” and more entitled to the child, benefits, and child support that went along with the child. Despite what she was saying, she spoke sweetly and was very petite so I knew people would automatically want to side with her.
The judge explained that she hadn’t submitted any pleadings, and that she wouldn’t prevail unless she asked for a continuance, submitted pleadings, and tried her case. That’s when she transformed into a monster.
I must have romanticized the memory, because I swear she was flailing her arms around so fast that I couldn’t keep track. Her entire body was twitching, arms flailing, hands flopping, and head back screaming. She demanded to speak to the judge’s boss immediately.
She repeatedly made offensive comments about the judge. A non-stop river of psychotic-entitled garbage spewed from her mouth. She wasn’t doing the insanely high-pitched-unintelligible scream, either. She was doing a full-on drill sergeant bellow.
The yell was loud, clear, forceful, and disconcertingly deep. I’ve seen some stuff, but this left me opened-mouthed and staring. My client, however, was familiar with this brand of crazy. He stood up to loudly and politely ask the judge if he could say something.
I felt like a jerk at this moment for not staying on point, but I was completely caught by surprise. In an instant, my client took the case from ridiculous to absurd.
The judge allowed my client to speak, and my client used both arms to gesture to crazy and yelled, “This is the stuff I’m talkin ’bout right here. You see this crazy. Nah. Just nah.” For the second time that hearing, I didn’t remain professional and couldn’t contain my laughter.
I think laughter, or any sound of happiness, must have been a trigger for her, because Crazy then started trying to physically attack my client. My client ran to the witness box and ducked down inside in an attempt to shield himself from the attack.
There should be officers in each domestic courtroom during hearings, but we all know it’ll never happen. Crazy was detained, and screamed the entire time she was dragged away that she was going to talk to the judge’s boss about her being disrespected.
My client was awarded full custody, and the mother wasn’t awarded any parenting time. Story credit: Reddit / yossarianlivess
Darlings And All
I’m a partner in a small New England area firm. I had court this morning with one of my clients who is a very sweet older lady, around 70 years old. We were helping her with an old judgment from her divorce. Long story short, her ex-husband failed to pay something, and we were helping her collect.
But the star of the show is something else entirely. The old lady has a habit of calling everyone “Darling.” E.g. “Do you need my bank statements, darling?” when calling the office. I don’t really care what she calls me, she pays and is mega sweet, so we brush it off.
But she is also a bit hard of hearing, which is how our case…got interesting. We had the final hearing today, and the judge was keeping things pretty casual and conversational.
He was asking the parties different questions to clarify things before closing the hearing. He asked my client something about her finances, and she didn’t hear him. Her words made my face turn red instantly. “I’m sorry, Darling, what was the question?” Oh my God. Help me.
There was a moment’s pause, and the judge burst out laughing. “I’m sorry, did you call me…Darling?” He leaned back in his chair, beet red, grinning. She also turned a shade of scarlet. “I…I did, Your Honor.” He laughed again, shook his head, and the rest of the hearing proceeded.
Upon closing the record, he mentioned that it was the first time he had ever been called “Darling” by anyone. I think we did well, though. Darlings and all. Story credit: Reddit / peeepablepeep
A Hard Shell To Crack
My friend was convinced that selfish was pronounced shellfish. I wrote the word out, sounded it out and it was like I was saying the sun was blue. She just wouldn’t have it.
I don’t know if she was screwing with me, but 2-3 years after that whole argument we got in a different argument about her basically being a brat and she has the most jaw-dropping reply.
She said: “Sorry, I was being shellfish.” I couldn’t stay mad at that moron. Story credit: Reddit / Totesmcgotes702
Not The Man For The Job
I’m a dog groomer, and I take lots of photos of dogs all day to put on my Facebook and Instagram, it’s “my thing” if that makes sense. A cut and a photo with every appointment. I very seldom shoot things other than dogs even if I have a nice set up.
A friend got married a few days ago and, wanting to save money, asked if I’d shoot it for them. I told him it’s not really my forte but he convinced me by saying he didn’t care if they were perfect. They were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, which is nothing for a 10-hour event.
On the day of, I’m driving around following the bride as she goes from appointment to appointment before the ceremony, taking photos along the way. I shoot the ceremony itself, and during the reception, I’m photographing speeches and people mingling.
I started around 11 am and was due to finish around 7:30 pm. Around 5 pm, food is being served and I was told I cannot stop to eat because I need to be taking pictures; in fact, they didn’t save me a spot at any table. I’m getting tired and at this point kind of regretting doing this for next to nothing.
It’s also unbelievably hot. The venue is in an old veteran’s legion and it’s like 110F and there’s no AC. I told the groom I need to take off for 20 minutes to get something to eat and drink. There’s no open bar or anything, I can’t even get water and my two water bottles are long empty.
He tells me I need to either be the photographer, or leave without pay. With the heat, being hungry, being generally annoyed at the circumstances, I asked if he was sure, and he said yes, so I deleted all the photos I took in front of him and took off, saying I’m not his photographer anymore.
If I was to be paid $250, honestly at that point I would have paid $250 just for a glass of cold water and somewhere to sit for 5 minutes.
They went right on their honeymoon and they’ve all been off of social media, but a lot of people have been posting on their wall asking about photos with zero responses. Story credit: Reddit / Icy-Reserve6995
Know Your Worth
I’m a software engineer with a full-time job and a side hustle of doing freelance coding work in my own time. I’ve always been the type to have a side hustle I put a lot of my free time into; I get really bored sitting idle.
My freelance hourly rates are $60 an hour, and at my full-time job my hourly pay works out to about $40 an hour. So that’s how I value my time. Anyway, over Christmas vacation, I was staying at my parents’ house. My cousin was also staying over with her three young kids from Christmas to New Year’s.
I’d been planning on doing some work on my freelance projects when I had free time in the mornings when my family had no plans. I wasn’t in any rush; I was already ahead of schedule on them all, but I didn’t really have anything else to do.
It was in a really rural area and it’s like an hour’s drive to the nearest anything. Then my cousin and her husband asked if I could babysit all day for three days so they could visit some friends in the area and hang out with just adults.
I said I had planned on doing freelance work at the library, and she offered to pay me to babysit. I said I could if they got close to my freelance rates. She wanted a number, and although my freelance rates are $60 I didn’t feel like that was right, as it was high.
But I didn’t want to go too low; honestly babysitting three kids would be harder for me than the routine coding work I had for my freelance project. I don’t know a lot about kids and I’ve never babysat for long, and I had a feeling it would be stressful and difficult.
So I said $35, which is below what I make hourly at work, and that is the bare minimum I’d value my time for if that time is spent doing difficult work. She went crazy.
She said that’s a ridiculous rate for babysitting, that I was entitled and being selfish, that I’m trying to take advantage of how she didn’t have other options, etc. I said that’s way below what I’d be making if I had the time to do my own work, and I’d be putting off my own work to babysit.
Her husband then got mad at me saying that I was a 24-year-old girl, that I’m darn near a child myself, that my time is not worth that much and it’s childish to say that it was.
He said that I was a stupid girl for not knowing that babysitting costs like 15 an hour, and when I grew up and have kids of my own I will see how stupid I was being. I was kind of done with being called stupid so I just told them I hoped they could find someone else.
My mom thinks that I asked for something offensive, and my cousin and her husband obviously did too. Story credit: Reddit / HENNYDEFN
Mom Vs. Dad
I have three girls who are 8, 10, and 12 years old. Their mother walked out on us for another man when our youngest was around four. My ex still stays in contact, though, and pays child support. A few weeks ago while doing laundry, I saw red spots on my eldest’s underwear.
I asked her if she knew about it, and she cried and told me she tried to call her mom, but my ex didn’t call back. She’d been stuffing toilet paper in her underwear, hoping that would work. I explained to her that periods are nothing to be ashamed of, and found some great resources online for us to review together.
I took her to the store to pick out brands of feminine products she wanted to use (she picked Playtex Sport because she’s a gymnast). After we were done, I decided I should do the same thing with my other two.
My 12-year-old volunteered to be part of preparing them, and we made a whole night of it; it was wonderful, and I learned a lot. I even learned what a menstrual cup is, and how they benefit the environment. The other day, my ex called back.
I’ll usually arrange a video chat and leave the room so they can have some alone time, and when they’re done chatting, I’ll come back in to talk boring co-parenting stuff like school, bills, etc. Then it all went wrong. This last time, my ex was FURIOUS with me for talking about periods with the girls.
She shouted at me that I was sick and perverted, why didn’t I call her myself if I knew it was so urgent, I could’ve called one of their grandmas/aunts. However, my mom has dementia, while her mom and sisters call me a loser because I teach kindergarten, so I’m not fond of them.
My ex told me I was being immature and should have just toughed it out for the girls. This really annoyed me, so I shouted back that maybe if she wasn’t such a deadbeat and answered her phone once in a while, she could have handled this.
I brought up everything she does that hurts them; she hasn’t been to a single soccer game, piano recital, or gymnastics meet in two years, every other weekend when they come home from her house,
They go straight to their rooms, only to emerge hours later asking me why she loves her new husband more than them, and what did they do to make her leave.
My ex responded by saying I should tell them it’s not their fault I couldn’t satisfy her, and I screamed and yelled while she just smirked and pointed behind me, saying “Look what you did.” When I turned around, my stomach dropped. My eight-year-old and 10-year-old were standing in the doorway, crying.
It broke my heart. I never shout, so I know I scared them. My 12-year-old stormed in and started screaming at her mom, and while I appreciate her sticking up for me, this is not a battle I want her fighting.
My ex hung up before I could fully de-escalate the situation, and let’s just say the girls have been given free rein of the ice cream and limitless hours of video games, because I feel so bad. I even watched all the Twilight movies with them, so don’t say I don’t love them. Story credit: Reddit / aitapostthrowaway
A Pass For Free Stuff
Way back when I was a phone service advisor for a credit card company, this lady called in confused about a piece of mail we had sent her. She said, “I don’t understand why you sent me a bill.
I paid for the TV at the store with my card.” I replied, “Yes, ma’am. Now, this is the bill for using your credit card.” “But I used my credit card. Why would I have to pay again?”
This went on for about a good hour. This poor excuse for an adult believed that a credit card was just an all-access pass to buy anything you wanted for free. That was a devastating job. Story credit: Reddit / KittenSwagger
He's a Bright One
I had an argument about how light travels through space. It seems like a scientific argument on the surface. While the context was scientific, the content was far from it. My younger brother was arguing about the age of the universe with me. I told him it was 13.8 billion years old and he told me it was 6000.
I explained to him that if the universe was only 6,000 years old, we would not be able to see stars more than 6,000 lightyears away. And because we can see stars billions of lightyears away the universe must be at least that old.
Now I expected his argument to be, “How do we know those stars are billions of lightyears away? How do we know they aren’t closer?” and I had a good follow-up for that.
But no, he went with, “well that’s because the light from those stars was placed closer to Earth when it was created, so we could see them.” I had no follow-up for that.
He took my speechlessness as a victory. You might think by “younger brother” I mean a boy who is 10 or 11 years old. No, he’s 24. Story credit: Reddit / reincarN8ed
Didn't See That Coming
In the long-ago times before smartphones, I was working on a school project on Marco Polo and mentioned some random Marco Polo facts to a friend. She agreed that they were interesting and added, “It’s extra impressive because, you know, he was blind.”
I felt like, at this point, one of my books probably would have mentioned if he was blind so I asked her where she heard that. Her explanation was so hilarious, I still laugh to this day.
She told me that he must have been because why else would we close our eyes when playing the game? It started out gently as I tried to explain that Marco Polo was not blind but I didn’t actually know why we closed our eyes while playing Marco Polo.
I have since looked it up and allegedly it’s because Marco Polo didn’t have a freaking clue about where he was going. It escalated into a full-on screaming match about whether or not Marco Polo was, in fact, blind. He wasn’t, by the way. Story credit: Reddit
Paint It Red
I was making paint at a hardware store to pay for college. A co-worker completely messed up a customer’s order by making the wrong color.
Me being the competent one, I take a glance at the color and notice that there is still room in the can to make it the proper color. I manually shoot the remaining tint into the bucket and the idiot co-worker walks by and notices I’m fixing her mistake.
In front of the customer, she states that I do not have the authority to manually operate the tint machine, which I mean, at that point we had been coworkers for two years so I have no idea where she got that notion. I nod and say “I got it” and assure her that everything is fine.
She continues being belligerent in front of the customer and I continue stating “I got it” with various levels of screw off and eye glare.
The paint comes out of the shaker perfectly fine and I reassure the customer that his wife won’t see any difference in color. I leave the paint booth and my boss is walking towards me and I mutter, “Have fun with this one” while I use the restroom.
My boss chews us both out for arguing in front of a customer, which looking back I don’t disagree with. But at least I got some form of retribution. She got demoted to cashier. Story credit: Reddit / NoChildLeft4Dead
Both Sides Now
I am the by-product of my parents’ extra-marital affair. Both of them had spouses at the time. My birth-mother got pregnant and had to tell her husband as he was overseas when I was conceived so there was no way I was his. A few months after I was born, they decided not to divorce their spouses.
I was given to my grandparents on my mother’s side. Throughout this, my birth father was secretly paying child support without his wife’s knowledge. Both my parents had other children.
My dad’s side knows nothing about me but my siblings on my mom’s side were told that I am adopted by my grandparents. Recently I decided that I wanted to know more about my dad’s family and I sent friend requests to one of my siblings and my dad so I could get to know him.
He freaked out and contacted my birth mom and they asked to speak to me over Skype. They both told me that they couldn’t risk staying in contact with me and told me that they were going no-contact and to please respect it and move on with my life. Well, I did pretty much the opposite.
I contacted my dad’s wife and shared screenshots of our conversations and told her everything. She is now divorcing him, while on my mother’s side I told both my siblings, who then went on to tell the extended family—including her husband’s side.
So now they are separated and my siblings hate my mother. Currently, the lives of my siblings on both sides have been upturned and after the satisfaction has worn off, I feel like I unnecessarily hurt them through my parents. Story credit: Reddit / childgonenuclear
Mind Your Own Business
I was in a higher-end department store today and happened to end up next to two teenaged girls while shopping. One of the girls had picked out a pair of VERY expensive boots and they were both fawning over them.
Second girl must have looked at the price tag and asks boots girl if she’s really gonna spend that much on boots. Girl with boots says something along the lines of “It’s fine, I have my dad’s credit card, I’m not paying.”
This instantly caught my attention because THAT’S NOT HER CARD. I’ve told my son multiple times he’s never allowed to use my card so I’m interested to see how this girl thinks she’s going to get away with it. However, I had split up from the girls at this point because they had found something else.
We end up at the same register (me behind) and I see her total hit well over four digits. The girl is about to swipe her card. I decide that I can’t let her get away with something like this.
Someone has to parent this kid if no one else will. I tell the cashier that isn’t her card but her father’s and I’m not sure she has permission. The girl and friend turn and glare at me, giving me possibly the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen.
I swear this girl was going to throw a tantrum right there, I don’t think she was ever told no. The girl tells the cashier her father gave her the card to shop with because it’s the store’s credit card and it gives him the points. Now that I’ve pointed out it wasn’t hers, the cashier tells her she can’t use that card.
The girl tries to show ID to prove they have the same last name (yeah that will help) and I tell her it’s still wrong. She says she has permission and tells me to mind my own business.
I tell her that it is my business that she’s doing something wrong and needs to pay with her own card or I call the authorities. Girl is angry now and people are glaring at me.
She uses her own card and leaves crying. Even the cashier looks mad at me and I tell my husband when I get home, only for him to agree I was in the wrong. Now I’m not so sure… Story credit: Reddit / aljsdhnrthrow
By Any Other Names
I met my boyfriend three years ago. Before me, he was with his high school sweetheart. They fell out of love and broke up. A year later, we started dating. His mom, however, was still heartbroken about it. I was very understanding and thought she needed time to get to know me.
The ex basically grew up with them and they saw her as a part of the family. But that doesn’t excuse what she did. For the first year of my relationship, his mom would call me the ex’s name, until boyfriend got angry once and told her to be nice. She laughed it off and said it was just a habit.
After that, she started calling me the wrong name, Janet instead of Jenny. I corrected her a couple of times but she seemed to like hurting me so I ignored it later. Then I got my revenge.
My boyfriend has two sisters, and a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving we were invited to BBQ at the older sister’s house. I was in the kitchen with my boyfriend’s mom, the sisters, and one of their husbands.
The older sister then talked about how my boyfriend praised my cooking to her husband and the mom was listening. She then said out loud “SURE! Why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?” The sisters giggled and looked at each other.
I simply said, “That’s a great idea!” I didn’t tell my boyfriend what happened. On Thanksgiving, we went to his mom’s house with the usual dessert, not with the turkey. His mom was shocked I didn’t bring it; everybody was shocked. I had the perfect reply.
I said “What? I thought Janet was bringing the turkey!” There was yelling, crying, and then we got kicked out. My boyfriend is so angry with me he hasn’t talked to me since. I think it’s over, to be honest. But I still don’t think I did anything wrong! Story credit: Reddit / Throwawaygivings
What Goes Around Comes Around
A while ago I was arrested at work in front of my boss and co-workers. It was the most humiliating thing I’ve ever experienced. I later learned at the station that I was being charged with multiple felonies. This came as a huge surprise.
Luckily I was able to keep my wits and lawyer up instead of speaking with the detective. For $13,000, which completely wiped my savings, I was able to retain a defense attorney.
It cost me everything and I was unable to pay my bond. This resulted in me staying in the slammer a total of 54 days. At a status hearing, my attorney presented video evidence of me gassing up my car three hours away from where the incidents took place and I ended up having all my charges dismissed.
When I finally got out, I came to some horrific realizations. I learned that I had lost my job, was in the process of being evicted, and my son was in the state’s care. His mother is an addict and I haven’t spoken to my own parents in nearly 15 years.
They wouldn’t let him go to my girlfriend because they didn’t consider her family. Since my release, I’ve learned that I can’t sue the government and no one cares that I was locked up for 54 days because the detective did poor investigation work.
I’ve gone to the local press about this and was told that what happened to me happens quite a bit. They took down my info but never followed up. So what I did was create a website sharing my story. I also uploaded the official report and some other documents from the discovery.
Literally, the only reason why they took me in was that an eyewitness said they saw me. If the detective had done his job, he could have verified that I wasn’t even in town on the day the incident took place.
This is what ticks me off the most. My life was ruined because of a lazy employee. I’m writing this now because my website is now ranked #2 on the first page of search results when you type in my town’s name.
I live in a touristy town and we attract a lot of visitors over the summer. My web traffic has more than quadrupled, and apparently, it’s gotten someone high up’s attention.
I received a cease and desist letter recently, which I showed to my attorney. He said sharing my experience online isn’t wrong and that everything I had stated was a fact or my own opinion, protecting me from a defamation lawsuit. Then I got quite the surprise.
Yesterday I received a visit from two officers and the detective who detained me. He apologized, stating “mistakes can happen.” They then talked to me about my website and asked if I could remove it. I said I would delete it on the condition that the detective leave his job and never do work in that field again.
Suffice to say, that isn’t happening. After the visit I received, I’m more angry that the only reason the detective apologized to me was to get me to take down my website. I don’t plan to and the only one supporting this is my girlfriend.
My friends think I’m being spiteful, and have suggested that I just delete it. Story credit: Reddit / AnonymousMeese
It Skips a Generation
My mother passed when I was 16, and my dad married another woman two years later. My grandparents, my dad’s parents, HATE my stepmother. I really don’t like her either. Even after my half-siblings were born, my grandparents never warmed up to her.
My grandparents are quite wealthy, and my father has been banking on this inheritance for a while. He has even been not paying into his retirement because he’s so sure that he will inherit the millions. I just found out on Saturday that I’m getting the majority of my grandparents’ estate.
My father is getting a token amount of $50,000, so he can’t dispute it. My grandparents made me promise not to give out any money after, and I intend to keep my word.
But I do feel really guilty that my father just spends his money as it’s coming in because he’s relying on money he won’t get. I also found out my dad is in a lot of debt. Story credit: Reddit / gruyerech
My brother is a very hard-working man, and at 27 he is now very wealthy and doing well for himself. He’s been with this girl for six months and throughout the time we have gotten close because we both like hair, makeup, and shopping.
I never knew there was anything wrong with their relationship—until she texted me last week, saying while she would love to hang out, she thinks it’ll be inappropriate because her and my brother broke up.
I asked her why and she said she was sick and tired of “auditioning” to prove she was with him for the right reasons. This is when the lid got blown off all my brother’s issues.
She went on to say that my brother is paranoid she’s after his money so he would test her like leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked it up.
Or going out to eat at high-end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet at home on purpose to make her pay the bill and prove she’s not going out with him for money.
He would also never buy her gifts and then question her when she asked why he doesn’t. I was shocked so I had to hear my brother’s perspective. We spoke and he told me everything she said was true and that there’s nothing wrong with making sure his girlfriend is with him for the right reasons.
He said he left his bank statements on the bed and was peeking through the door to see if she would be curious. When he saw her pick up the papers he knew in his gut she was using him for his money, so he set up the restaurant idea to see if she would get upset at paying a $500 bill, which she was.
I asked him if he thinks her being an elementary school teacher could’ve contributed to her being upset at a $500 bill at a restaurant he wanted to go to, and he said no.
He said the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she asked him why he hasn’t bought her a single gift since they’ve started dating when she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car.
He said he knew she was just discreetly asking him to buy her an expensive gift. He confronted her and said he thinks she was with him for his money. In response, she said, “let me do us both a favor” and dumped him and blocked him.
He’s upset about the “gold-digging witch,” and when I laughed he called me a jerk. He said I would never understand what’s it’s like being a rich man and being used. I get that concern, but I told him if he thinks any woman will be okay with his tests and auditions he’s delusional as heck.
If he doesn’t want to be used for his money he should start dating people as wealthy as him or leave lower-income people alone if he’s not going to be genuine in his relationships unless they pass his “tests.” Story credit: Reddit / shwnwneneb2929
Marking His Territory
My dad passed suddenly about a year ago, and my mom found this really nice guy that she’s started seeing. I’m 23 and going into my final year of college. My mom’s boyfriend has two daughters, ages 15 and 13.
My mom has stepped in to be a mother figure to them, and the boyfriend has stepped into my extended family, becoming everyone’s favorite uncle. And while I’m glad everyone else is comfortable, I’m not.
He isn’t a bad guy, I’m just still grieving my father and it feels like he’s trying to replace him. He tries to set rules for me, things like chores and curfew, that my dad specifically didn’t because he thought they were ridiculous for an adult. The boyfriend thinks it’s only fair because I have siblings now.
I think it’s ridiculous to have the same rules apply because of our age differences. He’s also trying to get me to share my stuff with his kids. They aren’t lacking for anything but he thinks it’s only fair because “family.” I live in the basement of my mom’s house and I have since I was 15.
When you come in the front door there’s a door to the basement and the stairs to go into the house, so it’s pretty separate. So last night I with some friends and got home at 2 am.
I had nothing to do until 3 pm today since classes aren’t until next week and my new job starts in two weeks. This has never been a big deal with my parents. I shot my mom a text and went to bed. Tonight though, man, the boyfriend flipped.
I got a lecture and sent to my room and “possible loss of car privileges.” I snapped and gave him a big piece of my mind. I told him I’m leaving the city after I graduate. I told him I’m glad my mom found a new partner but that I am not and will not be looking for a new father figure, and he needs to respect that.
I told him our relationship won’t be father/son for some time, and that he needs to respect me as an adult or that I won’t want to have a relationship with him. He told my family and they think I’m the jerk. Story credit: Reddit
My classmate recently made a TikTok and she showed it to a group of people at lunchtime.
They were next to our table so I overheard the girl say, “Hey look at my TikTok I made, come check it out” and in it she explains how she “rescued” goldfish from the pet store and released them into the ocean so they can live free. I was horrified upon hearing this.
I love fish and have several aquariums so I’m fairly knowledgeable on them. I walk over and I ask her to show me the video. She asked me why and I said, “You realize you’re actually an idiot right? This is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.” Her friend says, “Well that’s just rude, why would you say that?”
To which I had to explain that goldfish are freshwater fish. They can’t survive the ocean because it’s saltwater, so all of those goldfish were goners in minutes.
Lastly, you never release animals into the wild. There are goldfish that are destroying our rivers and lakes because of idiots like her. I later get called into the principal’s office, where he told me I was expected to apologize. I said no, I stand by what I said.
Screw ignorant people who destroy the environment. My parents were called over and I got sent home. I might get suspended. Story credit: Reddit / Sensitive-Fun-99
The Buck Stops Here
My wife died at the young age of 51 because of a car accident. I was in deep mourning for about a year after. I met my new girlfriend, Chelsea, around January. Chelsea was the one who made me laugh for the first time after my wife passed.
She’s smart as heck (three Ivy League degrees), has a dark sense of humor that I love, is a terrific cook, and overall an amazing woman who I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. She is also on the heavier side, a fact that becomes relevant later.
I have two young adult children, a boy named Evan and a girl named Alice. They were well aware that I had gotten a new girlfriend before I first introduced them to Chelsea this summer. She got along immediately with Evan, but Alice was very, very standoffish.
After that initial meeting, I asked Alice if there was something wrong but she denied it. Chelsea made a few more attempts to get to know Alice but they were all rudely rejected. Evan and Alice both came home for Thanksgiving dinner.
I asked Alice to please be polite during the meal since she’s always been rude in her interactions with Chelsea even though Chelsea has been nothing but gracious in return. The dinner was going as well as it could have for the first 10 minutes, although I noticed Alice glaring at Chelsea the entire time.
When Chelsea went to grab her third helping of mashed potatoes, Alice said “Don’t you think you’ve eaten enough, you fat pig?” Chelsea started sobbing immediately and ran off into the bedroom. I felt my face turn red and told Alice to get out.
About half an hour after Alice left, I texted her stating that I would no longer pay her tuition unless she apologized to Chelsea and Chelsea accepts her apology. Alice must have assumed that I was bluffing because she instead doubled down on her behavior.
I then logged into her university’s tuition payment website, canceled next semester’s tuition, and sent Alice the screenshots. She called me crying and begging me to reconsider…but I told her my mind was made up. Story credit: Reddit / ecrpa3943
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Okay, this is the worst. I’m losing sleep over this. I’m getting married in a week to an awesome woman, and I cannot wait to be her husband, we are so excited. My brother is gay, but my family doesn’t know, only me and my parents know.
I come from a very old school traditional family, so the old part of the family, grandparents and some aunts/uncles still have last century’s mind, and the younger portion, cousins/siblings are open-minded, and are living in the present.
So my brother has been dating his boyfriend for six months now, the dude is great, I’m so happy my brother found a great guy. But it’s kind of a secret, as he hasn’t told my family he is gay.
I’ve been telling him for years that he should come out, cause I know it stresses him a lot, and I think it will make him feel better not to hide anymore, plus I bet a few family members already know anyway.
But he disagrees cause he knows a part of the family won’t accept it and it will be a lot of drama. I see the opposite. I see it as the sooner you know who the idiots are, the sooner we can cut them from our lives. I have no interest in having someone in my life that doesn’t accept my brother being gay.
Anyway, that’s his decision not mine, so for now he won’t say anything. Until a few weeks ago—that’s when he dropped a big revelation on me. He said he wants to bring his boyfriend to my wedding. I was not expecting that, to be honest. So he went from 0 to 100 pretty fast.
If it was any other occasion I would be supportive obviously, but I don’t think my wedding day is the day to do that. Imagine all the drama and gossip that would happen. And I don’t want to get the attention away from my fiancée, that’s her day.
And I don’t want to have to worry about that on my wedding day, and I think it’s a pretty good reason. I asked him why my wedding day, and he said it’s because he wants to celebrate love with the two people he loves the most, me and his boyfriend. This is ruining me.
I would fight my whole family for my brother and never speak to them again if I had to, but my wedding day is supposed to be a celebration, not a family fight, and I can’t do this to my wife, that might ruin our future. I didn’t even tell her. She is already stressed out, I don’t want to make it even worse.
With a heavy heart, I asked him to please come alone to the wedding, and that I hope he understands me. He started crying and left my house without saying anything. The next day I got a text and he said “don’t worry, going alone.”
I tried calling him but he didn’t answer me, and my parents don’t seem to know what’s happening because they didn’t say anything. He eventually called me back a few days later, we spoke, he said he understands my side, but things are still weird between us.
This is the worst situation of my life. Story credit: Reddit / macacaralho
Can't Bury The Hatchet
Some backstory: I had been dating my ex-fiancé Sarah for four years. We had been planning to get married but I found out recently that she cheated on me. She begged me to give her another chance but I broke it off.
The problem was that being cheated on is, in my mind, completely emasculating and humiliating. So I never told anyone that was the reason we broke up. For obvious reasons, Sarah also didn’t tell people we broke up because she cheated. So people have “blamed” me for the breakup, including my mom.
They just see that I dumped her out of the blue. I’ve gone very strict no contact with Sarah after I discovered she was cheating on me. Sarah has been talking with my mom and has convinced her that if we could talk one more time, we would be able to reconcile.
My mom has been applying pressure on me to talk with Sarah but I’ve explained that there’s no chance we will ever get back together. So tonight I go over to my mom’s place because she’s hosting family for Christmas Eve. I’m there for a bit talking with my aunts and uncles and cousins when the doorbell rings.
I look outside to a heart-stopping sight. I can see it’s Sarah. I ask what the heck is going on and my mom says she invited Sarah so we can work this out in the spirit of the holidays. I’m angry now because the only way to explain my side of the story is to tell everyone I was cheated on.
Complete humiliation in front of my whole family. So as my mom goes to the front door, I go into the bathroom. My mom starts knocking on the door saying that I need to come out and talk to my ex like an adult. I say screw it, kick out the window screen, get in my car, and go home.
My mom called a short while ago saying she’s cutting ties with me over my behavior (she’s really fixated on me jumping out of a window) and that Sarah will always be like a child to her.
My sister also called me after to ream me out for ruining Christmas. I broke down and told her that Sarah cheated on me which is why I dumped her and didn’t want to see her under any circumstances. She called me a big jerk who was lying to cover for myself. Story credit: Reddit / holidayholethrow
A Kiss is Just a Kiss
I study drama at university, and my boyfriend is in the same course. My boyfriend is a really good-looking guy, but he doesn’t seem to know it. He gets a lot of attention from girls and for the most part, doesn’t seem to get that they’re flirting with him.
I’m not generally annoyed by this, and never really say anything. However, there’s one girl in our class, let’s call her Victoria, who is obsessed with my boyfriend.
She goes out of her way to be paired with him in group activities (for example, if the professor picks groups by numbering us 1, 2, 3, she will move herself to be in the same number as him) and she recently stepped down from a main role in a play we’re doing so she could be in a more minor one, simply because this character has a romance with my boyfriend.
I know this is the case, because I’ve heard her say to her friends that she thinks he’s hot and whatnot. I’ve never said anything to her about it, because she seems pretty insecure (always complaining about how she thinks she’s ugly) and I don’t see it as a big deal because my boyfriend doesn’t care. However, we recently performed the play and had a small afterparty.
She got slightly tipsy was bragging about how she “definitely felt something” when they kissed in the play and she’s “going to ask him if he felt the same.” I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went up to my boyfriend. When she went up to him I was there too. Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he’s a really good kisser, etc.
I snapped. I sort of shouted at her that “You sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else’s boyfriend. You’re pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together.” She looked super embarrassed and walked away, and I later heard she’d gone home crying. I feel like a jerk because she’s obviously insecure and whatnot, and her friends haven’t stopped calling me a witch since.
I have a friend who purchased a house late last year. It’s an awesome two-story town house and I’ve been over there plenty of times to help out with moving/decorating and for hanging out. Her parents purchased the house for her and her partner. I truly have no issue with this as the housing market is terrible for buyers so more power to them for being home owners.
I recently, unfortunately inherited my parents’ house, which is three-bedroom out in the sticks. The issue: We went appliance shopping because most of the stuff in the house was 10-15 years old. We were standing with an employee who I had asked to recommend some smaller items like toasters and kettles when the employee asked if I was moving out as general chit chat.
I told him I was moving, and he asked whether I bought or rented. I told him bought, because it was just easier and less awkward than telling him I inherited the house. He told me that was cool and began talking about the toasters again when my friend cut in that I had inherited my house, not purchased it. The employee went quiet and I gave her a “what was that” face.
I was taken aback, and she continued on saying “Yeah, I purchased my house.” I asked “Does it really matter? I’m here to buy some kitchen appliances, not tell this guy my personal issues.” She grinned and said “it’s just for the record,” which made me more confused and annoyed. You can probably see where this is going. I replied “Oh okay then, if it’s just for the record, your parents purchased your house for you.”
The employee quickly retreated and my friend walked outside of the shop. I caught up with her and she said I was a massive jerk for pointing out she couldn’t afford to own without her parents’ help. I returned with a very similar “My parents also helped me with getting a house too, just in a really terrible way.” AKA, dying. My partner agrees with me, saying that she’s the one who opened that door, but our other friends are split almost 50/50.
Someone told me she deleted pictures she took of a tree because she had a feeling the tree would be offended by having its picture taken out of fear its soul might be taken. Even if we assume souls exist, that trees have souls, emotions, memory, thought, the ability to communicate and eyes to see what you are doing, how would they have any idea what a photo is?
Or know that your phone can take photos? Or a religion and complex thought to believe in souls? Like just what?
I have a dumb relative who always thinks she knows better. Years ago she wanted me to help her with some sort of device that lets her call long distance without paying for long-distance on landline using the internet. But the problem is she had a dial-up connection, which is super slow. I tried explaining to her several times how she would have to upgrade her internet first for anything to be effective.
But she kept saying she heard this product will fix all of that and insisted on buying it. I even told her what will happen, which is, it’s probably a scam and they’ll give some useless part like a router and you would have wasted your time and mine, and money. She didn’t listen and went through because she always thinks she’s smart.
Well, a few weeks go by and she gets the device and of course, it’s just a random router when she wants me to install it. Everything I said to her earlier comes true. She just ignores what I say and moves on to something else that will work better. Rinse and repeat. This is how dumb people usually are in my experience. They think they know better than you.
When things don’t go according to plan, they either make an excuse and it’s never their fault, and/or move on to another thing with the same stupid thinking.
Living in a Mansion is Hard
My mom’s reasoning is that if every room is open, the hot air has places to circulate so it will be hotter. Now keep in mind we only used about five rooms in our 12 room house, so my logic was that if we close the rooms we aren’t using then we would only have to heat the rooms we use and then we don’t have to keep it in the mid-60s during winter.
Well one week she went on a vacation and left the house to me so I decided to test that theory and wouldn’t you believe it, not only was the house warmer but the heating bill was also lower for that week. She of course was having none of it, so she opened up all the rooms again, then it got cold and the heating bill went up.
A Cocktail of Absurdity
Here are a few favorites as a bartender: A drink is a liquid, and it’s a bad idea to shake it around. Yes, the “This is a smoke-free area” sign also applies to people who are addicted. Yes, the people on the tables around you are inebriated. No, I’m not going to kick them out. Seriously, what were they expecting when entering a bar at 2:00 am?
You still have to pay for the entire meal even though you only ate half of it, especially if you asked us to pack the other half to take home. No, you’re not allowed to test our beverage menu by taking a shot…unless you buy a shot. Exposure doesn’t pay my bills. Your kid is not going to get adult beverages from me, I don’t care that it’s his birthday.
No, we’re not running a smuggling business in the back, you just watch too many movies. Also, did you believe that I’d tell you if it were the case? No, you can’t pay in some weird cryptocurrency here. I don’t know you are a “regular.” You’ve been here twice, and one of those times I wasn’t even working.
Know Your Math
I had an argument with my garage door installer. He was installing the motor and I noticed that it was 1/4 horsepower. I immediately told him that I had ordered the bigger motor. He said that this was the biggest. I then proceeded to tell him that I ordered the 1/2 horsepower engine. He told me that one is too small and this one is bigger.
What in the world?! I asked, “How do you figure that?” He said everybody knows that 4 is bigger than 2 in the most sarcastic voice. There was no convincing him that 1/2 was bigger than 1/4. I finally just had to call his boss.
This was so infuriating, I’ll never forget it. I opened up about my inability to have children and how frustrated I am with people recommending things that won’t work for me because the problem isn’t infertility. A woman started up about how I should try going vegan to cure my infertility. I reminded her that wasn’t the issue.
She pressed on, saying she didn’t believe in miracles but for her, it was like hitting a switch. She’s had two babies since going vegan and she couldn’t be happier, maybe I should try it. I said no. She got offended that I refused to even consider. I’m not infertile. Trying to carry a baby would destroy my body Breaking Dawn-style.
Plus, I’m on two medications that corrupt my eggs like a computer virus, so I really cannot have children.
After talking to a stoner friend about how having weed impairs your brain’s formation of memories, he had the perfect one-liner. He said: “That doesn’t happen to me, I don’t remember forgetting anything.”
The Government Got Her Mind
Fresh out of college, I lived with a few people who I didn’t really know before moving in. One of the roommates was this slightly older guy who was dating a woman similar in age. She was over our place one day and somehow contrails came up, except she referred to them as chemtrails. You see, I was really minding my business watching something on the TV.
I had just graduated with a degree in atmospheric science and there’s no way I’m going to share living space with someone who refers to contrails as chemtrails. So I say, “You mean contrails, no?” She didn’t, she meant chemtrails because the government is spraying us all with some mind-controlling substances or whatever she claimed it to be.
So I explained to her the reason why airplanes produce a contrail, which was easy to do considering how much of my time and money went on learning about the dynamics of the atmosphere. She didn’t believe that some younger woman could possibly know more than her, which is when she pulled out her trump card. “I live right next to an airport, so I can see that when they first take off there’s no trail. It’s not until they get to a certain height that they switch it on.”
This was literally right after I had explained how pressure and temperature affect humidity and condensation and how pressure and temperature are much lower at higher altitudes. I realized then that I could not convince this person that they were wrong. Luckily he and she moved into another place together not long after.
The Weight of The World
Someone got the brilliant idea to make an office diet bet, with people pooling in their money to see who can lose the most weight by Thanksgiving. I am one of seven people not participating. There are lots of pregnant people, some bodybuilders, and people who maintained their weight who aren’t interested. However, since I’ve visibly gained weight, they thought I’d want to participate.
I didn’t. Jen, in charge of everything, kept dropping by to remind me to turn in my form and my money. I said “No thanks.” Jen wouldn’t drop it. Other people got involved, asking me why not all the time, it’ll be fun! Don’t be scared, I’d “feel better” and “look better” (I told them no, I wouldn’t) and it’s a great way to bond, we’re all in it together, it’s like Weight Watchers!
“I’m not interested,” and then eventually, “I. Said. No. Drop it.” But it was so far from over. They decided I wanted them to convince me. Two weeks into the bet, they tried to trick me onto the scale to “shock” me. I contacted HR, people finally backed down. I’m eating my food one day (rice and beans), and people sitting with me start dropping hints that how they feel so much better now that they aren’t eating carby comfort food all the time.
I said “I’m glad you feel better.” They took this as a sign that I “knew” I’d “feel better” again and started up saying I could still join in. I finally snapped and revealed my secret. I said, “You guys suck. I’m a recovering anorexic. I get one whiff of competition and start starving myself for days and start puking up what I do eat until I’d have to get my third oral surgery to remove rotting teeth. Does that sound worth it to you?”
Chorus of “wow” and “we were just joking.” I said “No, you weren’t just joking. Congratulations, by the way. After you all wouldn’t stop, I weighed myself for the first time in seven years and didn’t eat for two days. Does that make you all feel good?” None of them would look me in the eye, so I just went home for the day. I got a call from the women in HR, who were shockingly supportive of me.
One of the bodybuilder guys stepped up and said he’s witnessed a lot of the harassment and he doesn’t blame me for my outburst. A few others did too. However, they had to cancel the diet bet (I didn’t ask them to) and people are blaming me. Saying that I can’t take a joke, it wasn’t “that deep”—and it gets even more infuriating. The girls present said they no longer feel “safe” working with me because I obviously have mental issues.
One of them made a big stink about “politically correct” stuff and how I’m the typical hypersensitive millennial. I go back and forth on this all day, thinking I should have just swallowed my anger and gone back to HR or just stopped eating lunch in the office or whatever. I didn’t mean to ruin anyone’s fun but I also feel justified in pushing back on their harassment.
Money Changes Everything
I recently won a bunch of money. I won’t say exactly how much but it’s in the millions. It makes me feel funny even typing this. It’s enough to change the life of myself and my family. My ex-wife is the mother of my two kids. She is an amazing woman and good to the bone. We divorced six years ago because I had an affair with my current partner.
I was in a low place in my life and I messed up. She was in incredible pain but—like a saint—she allowed me to still see our kids who mean the world to me, allowed our divorce to be as pain-free as possible despite the fact that I know she was hurting. She still is close with my parents. She is respectful to me although she refuses to talk to my girlfriend.
She was actually the first person I phoned after my mom and pops after I found out I won the lottery. She was pleased for me, joked that I could take the kids on a world round trip, and that was that. Nothing else. As soon as I won, I knew I wanted to give her a significant amount. I still love her. She’s the mother of my babies and I feel like this is some small tiny way I can show her that I’m not a complete screw-up.
She deserves to know that I care despite my mistakes. She also works an awful job in the public library which pays her peanuts. She would actually be able to pursue her hobbies this way. Give our kids a better life between us. I haven’t discussed this with my ex yet, but I have with my parents, who strongly agree, and my lawyer who was very surprised but on board. But there was one person who objected…
Long story short, when I told my girlfriend, she was livid. Screaming that I’m disrespecting her, accusing me of still being in love with my ex-wife. By the way, I’m not in love with her. We’ve both grown apart, but of course, I still love her for being an excellent co-parenting partner and mother to my kids. My girlfriend is threatening to break up with me, and to be honest I’m feeling incredibly relieved over the threats. I don’t plan on changing my plans.
I’m 30 and my 12-year-old sister is living with me right now because mom and pops are vulnerable so it made more sense for me to care for my sister for the time being. She is a really great kid and to be honest, I feel in a lot of ways like she’s my own kid because my mom and dad don’t speak English, so I kind of had to raise my sister in ways that they couldn’t.
It’s hard to explain but I’m sure anyone with a secondary culture will get what I mean. My mom and dad are great parents, but having an English-speaking person to guide you through stuff when you live in an English-speaking country is invaluable, and my sister trusts me with stuff she won’t necessarily trust my parents with. Anyway, my girlfriend was FaceTiming me and my sister walked past in shorts and a T-shirt because it’s hot.
My girlfriend waited until my sister had left the area—but not the room—and made a face. Then she said something that made my blood boil. She said, “Maybe feed her less, her thighs are kinda chunky.” I saw red and told her to shut up and immediately ended the call. My sister is a bit chubby, but who says stuff like that about a 12-year-old girl?
Since then, literally. Everybody. I. Know. has been texting me that I’m a bad boyfriend and asking how can I disrespect my girlfriend like that. I am expecting an apology from HER but to my shock, everybody is expecting ME to apologize.
The Apple Guy
Both my friends were incredibly smart but one of them refused to believe that gravity actually exists. He was convinced that if “the apple guy” didn’t discover gravity we as a society would have the ability to play with brainpower. I stopped trying to talk him out of this but the other friend was almost foaming at the mouth with rage over this conversation.
In school for my new job, at the beginning, there was a woman sitting next to me. I was like 22 or 23 years old and she was easily 40 years old. At the beginning, we got along well but then—things changed. She started to desperately search for similarities and it got annoying. Then she always asked me about stuff the teachers said while the teachers still talked.
She basically wanted a live translation from me but without changing the language. Of course, this resulted in both of us not being able to listen anymore. No way to explain to her that she should just listen herself and at least try to understand. I would’ve happily tried to help her afterward when I had time to hear it myself.
First clue was that she was not so bright. I was incredibly over her but still stayed nice. Then we were supposed to work in pairs on a small but not easy task. Of course, she didn’t understand a word. I explained one thing to her for the umpteenth time. Sometimes it’s cursed, you just don’t get one thing. But then she proceeded to tell me I was wrong.
Which was fine if she could only tell me why. But no, it was a matter of, “I have no clue what’s up with that. I don’t understand it in the slightest but I just know you’re wrong about it just because”. I was not wrong. I re-read it 10 times in our sources, found different sources, and tried to break it down to basically elementary school levels.
She stopped listening to me and just continued to argue that I was wrong. Remember, that woman was more than 15 years older than me and around 40 years old. I lost my patience, stopped talking to her, and just presented the task by myself. She did not admit anything after the fact. Shortly after, she changed seats after a different incident, and not long after that she dropped out. Surprise, surprise.
Phones Are Stupid
Anytime my father-in-law tries to start a discussion which is a thinly-veiled attempt to have a “gotcha!” moment against me or my wife, as soon as he starts losing, the actual specifics of the argument go out the window and he starts character attacks or makes wild accusations about what is or isn’t allowed in the discussion.
He tried to support the claim that Kamala Harris can’t be president because her parents weren’t citizens so I pulled up the US Constitution on my phone and read the amendment for presidents and rather than engage with that, he said I was wrong and the paper that his sister read was right, and I don’t really know anything, I just know whatever my phone knows.
My friend’s boyfriend didn’t observe daylight savings time. He understood that the rest of us did. He just didn’t. I said, “Ok, but if we agree to meet for dinner at 5 o’clock, we’re both using my 5 o’clock, right?”. I tried explaining that I observe daylight savings exactly twice a year, once when I set my clocks back and once when I set my clocks forward.
The rest of the time it’s a non-entity in my life. However, by not observing daylight savings, he has to observe daylight savings at all times every day, as he constantly has to worry about converting his internal time to whatever time the rest of the world is using. I was unable to convince him of that logic, however, as he is a stupid person.
Me and two other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don’t split costs on is groceries. Everyone’s in charge of buying their own food and we don’t touch whatever doesn’t belong to us in the fridge. We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up. This issue has been going on for almost a year and I’m sick of it.
One of my roommates, Ray, keeps taking my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick. My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I’ve only drank it once or twice.
I confronted Ray about this lots of times and that’s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I’m crazy even though it’s so obvious. My other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it’s not him. It’s always after we get back home and Ray’s already left for work that I notice my food’s gone.
My roommate’s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I’m guessing this is because Ray doesn’t like what he buys. The funny thing is Ray buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what’s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it. Last week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I don’t regret what I did.
I went to the store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was to catch/prove Ray is the one taking it…since he’s lactose intolerant. The next day, Saturday, we get back from work and Ray is steaming. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 minutes with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake.
I only responded with “So then you’re the one who’s been taking it?” He freaking exploded. Yeah, he admitted he was “sometimes” drinking my milk and eating my food but he was madder that I switched kinds of milk than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn’t have done that if he’d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of trying to make it seem like I was making it up.
My roommate backed me up and thought it was kind of funny he got payback for taking from us. It’s a little tense right now and my roommate told me Ray is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out. Little does he know, we’re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his antics. However, I told some buddies what happened and a few think I was a jerk for that. I feel like I’m not in the wrong here.
Go My Own Way
I was raised by parents who believed (religiously and also culturally) in rigid gender roles. Dad should work, mom should stay home with the kids. I’m the only girl and have three brothers. Because of their expectation that I’d stay home with kids, they never valued my education, educational achievements or emphasized things beyond domestic skills.
I’m the second youngest. By the time I was in high school, my two older brothers had gone to the college of their choice, with my parents fully covering tuition, books, an off-campus apartment, and other living expenses. They eventually did the same for my younger brother. I was told I wasn’t allowed to apply for college. So I came up with a plan of my own. I did so in secret and got accepted with a partial scholarship. I didn’t tell them I was moving out until a week before I left.
I did this with essentially nothing but what a few friends gave to me that their parents bought “them” for college. I took engineering and had to work, take on debt, and struggle. My parents and I have barely spoken for years. I’m married now and expecting our first child, and they asked to meet up. We met at a park, and they said they were “Sorry if they caused me pain” but would like a relationship now.
I asked them specifically what they were sorry for. They wouldn’t elaborate and just said they wanted to move forward. I said that wasn’t sufficient. In the end, I said they could prove they were sorry by forwarding me the $100K my degree and college expenses cost, just like they did for my brothers. My mom burst into tears, my dad said I wasn’t being serious and I just left.
Since then, I’ve been getting calls from my brothers telling me I’m being immature and hurtful. I don’t think so at all.
You Get What You Put In
So my son had a long-distance girlfriend recently for about two years. She was great, a really nice girl and we all loved her and welcomed her with open arms. She was flying here constantly to visit him, like a weekend a month. However, he didn’t lift a finger to go visit her. I tried talking to him about it several times and told him he should really start looking into flying over to her instead of expecting her to do all the traveling.
He said no. And my wife probably had something to do with it as she constantly told him she was afraid of him flying. I spoke to them both and said this girl is great for him, she was willing to move over to our country too, but said there was one condition and that was he’d have to fly over to her country too, which is fair enough. He said no, he didn’t want to fly or travel anywhere.
My son was becoming lazier and lazier, eventually telling his girlfriend and us that he was perfectly fine never traveling anywhere including holidays, etc. It came back to bite him. Last week, he told us she’s dumped him. I went on her Facebook page as we’re all still friends—she wrote us an apology letter about how she’s upset it didn’t work out but these things happen, so we’re on good terms.
It looks like she’s with a new guy already. Me and my wife have no doubt she was seeing him while still in a relationship with my son. But I had to make a scandalous revelation. I confessed to them both that I actually agree with her decision and he should have expected it. He did not treat her properly and I hope he learns lessons for the next one because he needs to make more of an effort.
I said he deserves this for his lack of effort in the relationship and for essentially just allowing this girl to spend all her money and time coming here all the time. My wife and son are very upset that I said this. Very, very upset and my wife says I am being horrible. Well, I stand by what I said.
Context: My older sister and I lost our dad a year ago. He was my only parent; mom was never in my or my sister’s life. Dad left money (inheritance) for me and my sister, and she used it to get new cars and renovate her house. I live with my aunt right now because my brother-in-law didn’t let me stay with my sister. I’m planning on using my money to pay for college tuition.
I’ve always wanted to be a doctor but haven’t decided which branch yet. My sister and I haven’t been close. It started after she got married to her chronically ill husband who she allowed to make backhanded comments about dad and mock his illness and make a scene at his funeral. I’ve distanced myself, but my sister kept visiting a lot lately and venting about her husband’s condition.
He’s been in and out of the hospital for heart problems and is in need of surgery. She brought up my inheritance money several times but I end up cutting off the conversation. She then straight-up asked if I could help pay for her husband’s surgery and said she’d pay It back in less than a year. I felt uneasy because if I give her money, there’s no guarantee she’ll pay it back before it’s time for me to apply for college.
I felt I was risking my future, and I refused to help. It turned so ugly in the blink of an eye. She had a meltdown at my aunt’s house, calling me heartless, cruel with no empathy. She said that her husband’s health should be a priority and I needed to help because education is nothing compared to someone’s health. She asked if I’d be happy to see her as a widow and my nephew with no father.
My aunt suggested others pay, but most of them cut my sister and her husband off long ago. I argued that her husband’s poor health isn’t my fault after she kept blaming and guilt-tripping me. She kept crying and although my aunt decided to stay out of it, she said that I should be prepared for permanent damage in my relationship with my sister if I don’t help her now.
My sister has been sending texts and pictures of her family, telling me this is what I was saying no to, a happy healthy family with a healthy husband and father. I cried and felt like I was being selfish, not a good aunt and sister. I asked my friend and he said let them sell the cars and all the luxurious stuff they bought to afford the surgery. He warned me if I give them money I’ll never get it back and may not be able to go to medical school.
Little Miss Know-It-All
I used to have a friend who would legit argue with you about your own experiences, tastes/opinions, and pretty much anything else. Some examples include: Insisting that neither my husband nor I could possibly remember September 11 because we were only 11 years old at the time. Also insisting that no one could possibly remember anything from before the age of 10.
She said that I was lying about the fact that I can remember every teacher I ever had, and have memories from as young as three years old. They tried to start an argument that polio isn’t contagious. If you liked some piece of art, clothing, home design or another purely opinion-based thing that was simply not her taste, you were wrong.
When I expressed an interest in living abroad for some of my life, she tried to sit me down and lecture me that she knew better than me about whether or not I would enjoy it. Her conclusion was that I wouldn’t. She refused to acknowledge that professional Adobe products are now only available by subscription, and insisted that I must be wrong in telling her so.
She began explaining why pattern making for clothing would be too hard for me to learn, moments after I explained to her what it was. She had never heard of it before and had no idea how clothes were made. She started an argument with me that my nephew is not adorable and that no one really finds children cute, they just pretend to.
She wouldn’t hear of the possibility that someone could go to Iceland and enjoy themselves just because her brother had a stopover at the airport there and was very bored. Sure, it was all annoying—but it was nothing compared to her worst moment. She got upset when our friend group didn’t approve of her brother calling a black man the N-word because he “needed” to make the guy really angry. There were so many more but I can’t remember them all.
Every interaction with her was an exercise in frustration. Her only tactics for debating or arguing were repeating the same stupid points over and over again after they had been combatted, making you feel like you’re emotional or unreasonable when she said something incredibly hurtful and offensive, and talking over everyone while being very condescending and rude.
Hero of The Day
My older sister and her fiancé were planning for over a year for their wedding to be this month. Obviously because of the pandemic, they can’t have the wedding as planned, but they still would like to get married, so they decided on a “Zoom” wedding where all of the family/friends would just call in to watch the officiant, my sister, and her fiancé.
My sister didn’t want to be in charge of hosting the Zoom call because she thought it would stress her out, so she asked me to and I gladly accepted. She and her fiancé decided to invite everyone they originally wanted to, and it was a very big list. When we were going over the list, my sister mentioned to me that she wanted everyone else to be muted for the majority of the wedding, as she was worried that others would talk over her and her fiancé and “overshadow” them on their big day “that was already scaled down.”
However, her and her fiancé said that I should unmute everyone at one point so everyone could talk and have a nice time with each other. Fast-forward to the day of the wedding—everyone is muted during the ceremony which goes great, and so I then unmute everyone and ask them to please raise a hand if they’d like to talk so it doesn’t get confusing.
My cousin (around my age) starts waving his hand crazily, and he’s with his long-time girlfriend. He’s a very gregarious guy, so I was not surprised. Then, he says stuff like “The bride and groom are such an inspiration, it’s given me the courage to do this….” then he turns to his girlfriend and pulls out a box that is the size of an engagement ring box?? I immediately saw this as him trying to take the spotlight.
This is something that he’s done since we were kids. For example, he would secretly mess up my sister’s or my drawings if the adults would praise ours. So, I booted him off of the call before he could do it. Then I quickly announced that my cousin had technical difficulties and would not be joining again. Everyone else accepted this and went about talking, and my sister and her husband did too.
The rest of the wedding went smoothly—except for the fact that my cousin kept texting me angrily saying that he finally wanted to propose as a surprise with family all around and I ruined it. My aunt and uncle texted me the same.
Bringing Home The Bacon
I’m a dad who loves his daughter to pieces but I’m struggling to see eye to eye with my teenager and wife on this one. We’ve always been a meat-eating family. We live in the rural Midwest and bacon for breakfast is pretty much a given. This year, my 14-year-old daughter decided to go vegan, and I jumped on to her support team with enthusiasm.
We learned how to substitute ingredients, cook new things, try new things, I adjusted our budget to include more expensive vegan substitutes for her, etc. None of this has been a problem for me. Until recently, something changed. She saw me cook bacon in a pan, and then I rinsed it out to load it in the dishwasher. She exploded in anger (teen years, I’m not too fussed about the anger explosion, I know she doesn’t mean it) and said that that was HER pan for vegan food.
I was completely floored and said, kiddo this here is a family pan, older than you, it’s not YOUR pan. She asked me to purchase her a pan that she can solely use for vegan food. I didn’t want her to feel weird about food, so I said sure, and ordered her a few colored ones that are only for her. The reason they’re colored is so it helps me remember that I’m not to touch them unless I’m cooking vegan. But then it got weird.
That wasn’t good enough. Now apparently the dishwasher is “contaminated” with animal product and the fridge has “bacon grease fingers” on it (because I eat bacon and then touch the fridge) and she’s asked me and her mom to completely stop eating meat at home. I don’t mean I literally touch the fridge with greasy bacon hands, because I wash my hands, but it’s clearly enough that it upsets my daughter.
Frankly, I’m on team heck no, but her mom is much more amenable and strongly wants me to consider taking our daughter up on the request. My wife’s reasoning is that both our parents live close so we can eat meat products there, and that she doesn’t want our daughter to feel uncomfortable in the kitchen. My daughter says she is fine with cheese and butter in the fridge, but it’s specifically meat products that make her feel sick.
Now I’m sorry for her, but I feel like she just needs to adapt and live side by side, because I’m not going to stop eating bacon in my own house.
Show Me The Money
My aunt and uncle are paying for my cousin’s college. My dad had a college fund for me, but he had stipulations, like he wanted nothing below a B for grades and to pre-approve any classes I take, weekly meetings to discuss grades, and a bunch of other stuff. Which would be fine if you have a normal dad. Mine isn’t. My father is secretly a nightmare.
My dad has a temper, and I spent 6th-12th grade stressed out about grades and being screamed at or grounded over things that sometimes weren’t even my fault, like a teacher not updating online grading and an assignment being marked “missing” because of it. I also dealt with getting my backpack and locker randomly searched by him for no reason besides “to make sure I’m not hiding anything .”
So I decided to pay for school myself. I didn’t feel like constantly worrying that he’d disapprove of a class or a grade and decide not to pay, which I could totally see him doing. I’d rather be in debt than have him control me for four more years. I just finished my first year. My family got together recently and, well, sometimes they’re nosy. They were talking about my cousin’s school.
My uncle looked at my dad and said, “Well how much is school costing you?” My reply was perfect. I said, “What are you asking him for? I’m the one paying for it.” Later on my dad was ticked off and said that it was out of line to say that and that I embarrassed him. I didn’t do it to embarrass him, I was just being honest. He doesn’t even know how much tuition is, so he was the wrong person to ask.
My parents and I decided to go out to eat, so we stopped at our favorite pizza parlor. They also served sandwiches, which I really liked, and pasta. Well, I wanted a sandwich, my mother wanted pasta, and my dad wanted pizza. In the end, we had none, as we got into a heated argument at the table before storming out, leaving the crowd there quite perplexed, I’m sure.
Why we all didn’t just get what we wanted rather than force everyone else to get the same things, I have no idea.
Flush It Down
I watched Michio Kaku give a speech at a conference. He was talking about technology and how cheap and easy things are getting to make. He talked about how we will someday in the not so distant future have technology as thin as a sheet of paper, that will have all the workings of some of our most advanced technology of today, but that we will just basically throw away like it’s actually a sheet of paper.
He went on to talk about how our toilets will someday collect information on the waste that our bodies produce, eventually getting to a point where we can detect cancer. I got back from the conference and was over at some friend’s house making some dinner and I was talking to a girl I was dating at the time. I was telling her about the conference, what Kaku was talking about and eventually explained the toilets. Her reply was unbelievable.
She said, “That’s freaking stupid. Cancer won’t be able to be detected from your waste by a toilet.” I was like, “so you don’t think that in another 50 years, with the rate that technology is progressing, that we won’t have toilets that will be able to tell us if we have cancer cells in our bodies?” She told me that if I believed that, that I was a stupid person.
And went on further to clarify that I was not just being ignorant in this situation, but that I was a stupid person, incapable of intelligent thought. I don’t get set off by much. But this led to a screaming match over the phone that ended with me hanging up my phone. My humiliation didn’t end there. I then remembered that I’m standing in my friend’s kitchen, with him and his wife staring at me from the living room, me fuming, and holding a wooden spoon in my hand.
I just looked at them and said, “She wouldn’t believe that toilets will be able to detect cancer.”
A customer presented a coupon from a franchise store that had, “Franchise location ____ only” on it very plainly. Cue, “Sorry, this is a franchise coupon, we’re corporate-owned and can’t take it, but I can give you this very similar deal that is only two dollars more.” She didn’t understand. After three or four attempts of saying it in different ways, I finally told her “I’m sorry you’re not understanding what I’m telling you, but I can’t do this. Do you want the option I mentioned or not?”
She started again with, “Why can’t you-!” and I just walked away.
I had a dad in a skatepark go on an extended rant and attempt to fight me because I lost my cool and swore loudly when his son, who didn’t know park etiquette and was getting in everyone’s way for two hours at this point, cut in front of me at high-speed causing me to nearly break my wrist. The most irritating part? The guy was drinking in broad daylight, smoking, threatening assault, and not paying any attention to his son at all prior.
Somehow I’m the jerk because “you’re supposed to be a good influence on the kids.” Mate, I come to a skatepark to skate, not babysit every kid there because their parents haven’t taught them how a skatepark works. You’re supposed to be a good influence on the kid, you’re his freaking dad. Bringing him to a park he has no idea how to use, not taking steps to help him learn, drinking in public, and trying to start fights is not being a good influence.
True Sparta Fan
A friend of mine and I were having a fun argument about classic history. We were talking about Alexander and whether or not the western Mediterranean was ever going to be a possibility. We’re knee-deep in the discussion when our co-worker comes up and starts spouting off that Alexander only conquered as much as he did because of his Spartan army. Then it got really painful, really fast.
Everything we said after that just fueled this man’s love for Sparta and his need to tell us about his romanticized version of the place. Sparta wasn’t a part of the Macedonian army? That doesn’t invalidate his point about Alexander’s conquests, no, it just meant that Sparta was so badass that they couldn’t be conquered.
Sparta’s regular army dwindled by a factor of ten between the Peloponnesian wars and the days of Alexander? They just got ten times as tough, haven’t you seen 300?! The conversation slowly devolved until we were just talking about Sparta. It became him trying to defend his bizarre utopia for nearly the rest of our shift.
He stayed firm through boy love, economic recession, lack of army technology, and religious fervor. Only the fact that Sparta was de facto run by a small group of wealthy women seemed to disturb him. I feel like I was gaining some ground with my buddy, but to this day I think Sparta dude still gets off to 300 as a nightly ritual.
All In The Family
We had a family dinner this evening. My family has four kids in total: me, my elder sister who is 29, my younger sister who is 24, and my youngest brother who is 22. Extended family attended our family dinner. So all of our significant others, our cousins, aunts, and uncles, etc. During the dinner, my elder sister and youngest brother got into a mild disagreement.
My sister seemed—at least to me—to be coming across as very aggressive out of frustration and losing said argument. The two of them were too absorbed in their argument to realize the rest of us were getting a bit fed up. Eventually, my sister got really fed up and said “Shut up, I’m not going to argue with a 22-year old-virgin.” My brother hadn’t done any personal attacks up until that point, it was completely unprovoked.
I immediately told my sister to grow up and that she was making an embarrassment of herself. She only got worse from there. She replied by saying everyone knows he’s a virgin and she didn’t say anything wrong. This annoyed me as my brother definitely has confidence issues and doesn’t need to be made fun of like this. So I got a bitter revenge.
I responded by saying how she slept with well over a hundred men while she was in college, and that since everyone in the family knows this, it’s not a big deal right? Turns out her husband didn’t know this amazingly, I genuinely assumed he must have known. He left the party angrily saying my sister mislead him about her past. My family is now blaming me for their marital problems.
I refuse to accept I did anything wrong. My sister hurt my brother in front of everyone, all I did was give her a taste of her own medicine.
You Can't Choose Your Family
I dated a guy, Joe, for three months before he left me to go back to his ex, Kim. Right after we broke up, I found out I was pregnant and now I’m at 24 weeks. I let him know and he was ecstatic. Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally and he has always wanted to be a father. Getting back together was out of the question for both of us, so he’s still with his girlfriend.
At the initial appointment, we found out I was having twins. According to Joe, when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility and wanted to talk to me. I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother. Then it took an enormous nosedive.
She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy. I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body, then left.
Kim continued to be overbearing, texting me every day about my eating habits, exercise habits, and complaining about how her job wouldn’t let her take maternity leave. At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history…which wasn’t even relevant.
When it came time for my 20-week scan, they allowed me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party. I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then Kim put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins “the non-traditional way,” and how blessed she was.
I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. Then came the last straw. Kim threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower. I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born.
I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner. He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying I’m a jerk, and her mother even called and insisted I give her one of my babies like this is The Parent Trap.
Burst Your Bubble
My first job at 16 was at Party City. One day, I’m blowing up balloons at the balloon counter and a lady comes up to buy some latex balloons. I asked if she wants us to fill them and she said no, she’d do it at home. Making small talk, I remarked that she must have one of the Party Time helium tanks at home. Her reply made my jaw drop to the floor.
She said, “No, I blow them up with my mouth. You just put the string on them and they float!” I do the multiple blinks, trying to work out in my head what she’s just said. She fully believed she could blow up the balloons with her mouth and the magic was…attaching a string. I tried to give this woman an impromptu chemistry lesson. She insisted. I still think about that magic woman to this day.
Gaming The System
My older sister Jane is married to Bob and they have two kids, a boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all. They fight as siblings do but nothing big. I love them. Now for about two years, I did live with my sister. It was a miserable time that really affected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money, and babysitting.
Even when I managed to get a small part-time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half my pay or get out. She took complete advantage of me. I moved out as soon as I could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings. After I moved out, she started complaining how “She has no help with the kids and never gets a break!” I babysit sometimes but I have made it clear, just because I am off work doesn’t mean I want an eight-hour day with my niece and nephew.
Anyway, she then started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid but a teenager. I pressed her for more information on this. Her answer blew my mind. She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live-in babysitter for her kids. This is her logic: “I want a kid around 16 or 17, you know someone who may have been in the system for a while.”
According to her, they can share a room with my nephew (she only has a three-bedroom house) or sleep in the garage. They can help her with housework, chores, cooking, and help her with her business. (She bakes and sells cookies). Also babysit the kids so she and Bob can go out sometimes or have some alone time. They’ll be so grateful for a home and won’t complain.
She won’t have to pay them at all. And then when they turn 18, she can just sign up for another foster kid! A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid, they will be grateful just to have a roof, food, siblings if they have been separated from their real ones, and clothes. I was horrified! Told her it was a horrible idea! She didn’t listen to me. She went on with it anyway.
About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister. She had put me down as a character witness or something like that. I knew exactly what to say. I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her. The lady thanked me. My sister called crying saying that she wouldn’t be considered for any adoptions or fosters.
The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren’t a good fit. She asked if I said anything and I told the truth. She went off on me, hung up, and we haven’t spoken since. She has sent some angry texts. A couple of family members are on her side. They think foster kids are dogs or something and would be so happy just to have a roof and would gladly do all the housework.
Have Your Wedding Cake And Eat It Too
One of my best friends, Carla, is getting married soon. It’s only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they’ve been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted it because it’s private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff.
Of course, I said yes, she and her fiancé Rick were very happy. Thing is, Carla and I do have a history. We went out on and off in college but decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick and now here they are. My wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn’t care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything.
I never knew if Rick was told or not, it’s not my relationship and therefore not my business to say anything, so I never did. Well, Rick found out recently—and it went BADLY. What I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) that we used to date. Not only that, but apparently Carla said a couple of years ago she was still in love with me when she was already dating Rick.
I don’t have actual confirmation if that’s exactly what he was told. All Carla’s told me is that Rick was told about our past and he’s angry at her for never saying anything. It became quite a drama and I didn’t hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they’re going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on, but Rick requested that I not attend.
It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn’t be comfortable. But I had one question: Where are they going to hold the wedding, then? To my surprise, she said they still want it at our place. Rick said so to and in my mind I’m going “He doesn’t want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house.”
My wife and I are expected to just…not be at our home that weekend, And I told Carla no. They’re going to have to find someplace else since we’re not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn’t make sense. Rick doesn’t want me around because he’s not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house?
They really want their wedding here though and because of that, I’ve been bugged by not only her but also Rick and some friends who think I’m being a petty jerk for not letting them have the wedding here anymore. Honestly don’t think that I am, it just doesn’t make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding we’re no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable.
Still, I’m being accused of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes it’s the least I can do after “everything.” But like, what did I do?
Sense of Entitlement
I worked at a college and had conversations with helicopter parents that went like this: The parent would ask, “Can you look up the transactions on my child’s account and send them to me?” “Nope.” “Why not?” “Because your child is an adult and we protect their privacy.” Their response was always unsettling. “I’m their parent. They don’t need privacy from me!”
“That’s between you and your child. The laws protect their privacy from everyone, including their parent.” “I’m their guardian and entitled to this information!” “Without a court order, 18-year-olds (or 22-year-olds for that matter) do not require guardians.” “I’m going to report this to the Dean!” “Please do, as it will let them know I’m doing my job.”
My best friend married a partner at an investment firm. His arrogance and smugness have only intensified since I met him. But that’s not the worst part. She’s scared to leave him because he will destroy her. It’s difficult to even talk to him because he can’t grasp simple concepts and thinks I’m stupid because I didn’t go to an Ivy League school. He didn’t either, but his excuse is that he’s not from the US.
I tried explaining to him once that as long as the R estimate for COVID was above 1, then the number of cases would keep increasing. It’s exponential growth, which is something you would think someone in investing should be able to comprehend. He didn’t understand so I dumbed it down and said for every 10 people who have Covid, if they infect 11 people then the infection rate would go up even though those first 10 people got better.
I tried to explain sixth-grade math and he was looking at me like I was the stupidest person he had ever spoken to. He tried to argue that for every one person who had Covid they would have to infect at least 10 people before the infection rate increased. He was flabbergasted that he had to explain such a simple concept, even though he was incredibly wrong.
For background, I have an advanced degree in a statistical field. I have peer-reviewed publications of mathematical models I’ve developed. I’m known as one of the two Bayesian specialists at my university. He had a beginner’s Bayesian book sitting on his table when I came to visit once. He saw me eyeing it and he grabbed it and said he was trying to learn about what “his data people were doing.”
I said I had a pretty decent concept on the topic if he had any questions. He did this insulting laugh and said something so rude, it made me see red. In a super condescending tone said, “No offense, but this is way too hard for you, you wouldn’t understand,” and then walked out of the room with the book. Last week he overheard me talking to his wife about a project of mine.
He told me I didn’t know what I was doing and then tried to explain my project to me even though he didn’t actually know what I was doing and he has the statistical capabilities of a kindergartner. I finally stopped him and told him that what he was saying wasn’t correct and that stats don’t work that way. He told me I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I would never be able to find a “real job” anyway because I didn’t go to an Ivy League school.
I work for an R1 university and have government contracts and am not looking for a new job. I just turned my back to him and started talking to his wife again. The absolute arrogance of someone truly thinking they are the smartest person in the room. The worst thing is that is how he got rich. He started his first job at an investment firm bringing in clients and worked his way up.
He talks with such conviction that he sounds brilliant…if you didn’t actually know your stuff. He’s also very attractive and has made it into a Buzzfeed article because of his appearance, which he’ll never let go of, and a smooth talker, which I think makes people want to believe him. But darn, he’s so stupid it’s painful!
Find The Fan File
My cousin said that her laptop was overheating and making a buzzing sound. Her friend piped up and commented that it was most definitely a virus and that she should take it to Geek Squad to have it removed. I said, “No, it’s not a virus. It’s probably your fan. Your fan is messed up. It’s probably just dusty, try cleaning that out.”
This girl got righteously angry and told me that no, it was a virus, and she knows because she had the same issue with her laptop a few months ago and Geek Squad fixed it. This went back and forth for a bit with me insisting that a virus doesn’t affect the fan function, it was literally a hardware issue, and she was talking to me like she couldn’t believe how stupid I was to not realize that a virus was making my cousin’s laptop fan bog down.
I finally explained to her how viruses work. Her reply was so idiotic, it’s unforgettable. She stomped her foot like a child and exploded, “It’s still a virus! The virus just deleted the file that runs the fan!” I stare at her in disbelief. “The file that runs the fan? What is that, fan.exe?” and she said, “Finally, you get it!” She was so convinced that this was the case that my cousin believed her and said she would just take the laptop in to have it checked and cleaned.
Whatever, if you want to pay out to have some smug jerk at Geek Squad “fix” your laptop, that ain’t my business.
This Ship Has Sailed
This is a conversation I had with one customer trying to buy something online. “Hello, I made an online order and I see that you’ve charged me the shipping cost twice.” “Hmm, that’s weird, let me check. No, I see that it’s the right amount, sir.” “You’re wrong, I’ve made two orders and I’ve already paid the shipping cost for the first one. I shouldn’t have to pay twice.”
“Oh, I see! You’ve made two orders, sure, we can make it one package and only charge you once for the shipping, but can you tell me the order numbers for your orders, because the system shows me that you’ve only placed one today.” This is where it unraveled.“Yeah, the second one was not placed today.” “When was it placed, sir?”
“I don’t know, like three or four months ago, but still, I’ve paid for the shipping cost before. Why would I have to pay again?”
It All Began With Cheetos
I had a massive year-plus-long argument with my old roommate over Cheetos. I bought a bag of hot Cheetos because I hadn’t had them since elementary school and had a taste for them. So I put the unopened bag into my designated cabinet and went on my way. A few days later I decided that I’m going to eat my Cheetos. I open the cabinet and notice the bag is opened and empty.
Someone has eaten my Cheetos and stuck the empty bag back in the cabinet. So I confront my roommate calmly and say, “Hey man, could you please not eat my food?” Roommate blows up and starts screaming that he needs it and he’s starving. He’s unemployed at the time and I guess he ran out of food stamps for the month. I pointed out that he was welcome to share my cereal or fruit but eating all of my snacks was inappropriate.
Lots of screaming and door slamming ensues. Well, that was just the beginning of my nightmare. The rest of the time I lived there he would take my wet clothes out of the washing machine and throw them on the floor, purposely slam stuff while I’m sleeping, take my food out of the fridge and leave it on the counter to go bad, etc. And we would regularly continue these screaming matches over this $2 bag of Cheetos.
I don’t even live there anymore and he still tells my boyfriend I’m controlling and he should break up with me. I also forgot to change my address for my bank after I moved and my new debit card got sent there and he keeps denying that he has it. I never even ended up buying another bag of Cheetos since then. A bag of Cheetos has caused the biggest ongoing argument I have ever been in.
Long ago, over 20 years ago, I had a lovely beat-my-head-against-the-wall discussion with a young lady who had no children of her own, and no experience raising children with disabilities. What she said was so chilling, it made my blood boil. She proceeded to tell me that my wife and I needed to be firmer and more strict with our autistic son so that he would “snap out of it” and start talking and stop “acting autistic.”
I cannot remember how exactly I phrased my response as it was in Spanish, not my native language, but it was basically a polite version of “pound sand, you have no idea what you are talking about.”