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Strange Things People Overheard While They Were Pretending to Be Asleep

Strange Things People Overheard While They Were Pretending to Be Asleep September 12, 2020Leave a comment

Reddit user @billythekid696 asked the site “What’s your ‘pretended to be asleep and overheard a conversation you shouldn’t have’ story?” And people shared their strange stories about what happened after they closed their eyes and started eavesdropping.

Some people found out their crush’s true feelings for them and other people overheard some secrets that their family would’ve rather kept private. But everyone shared some absolutely unexpected conversations…

She Confessed Her Secret Love

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“I was dozing off in my bed with my girlfriend at the time when I heard her confess her love for me. She was pretty hammered, but she went into intricate detail about how she feels respected and sees a serious future with me.

The next morning I got yelled at for not cuddling and that it was a major issue. I don't think she even knew of her confession.”

Story credit: Reddit / @ClasslessHero

She Overheard Her Mom’s Cheating Plans

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“My mum told a friend via telephone: ‘I thought my husband was cheating, so now I do it too. I still don't know what to do.’ My father has not cheated and it's proven. My mum is just stupid, they're getting divorced now.”

Story credit: Reddit / @DavidX98

He Overhead Malicious Plans

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“Night after drinking with friends I wasn't really pretending [to sleep] more trying to keep my head from spinning. I overhear my buddy say to my other friend, ‘I wonder how easy it is to smother someone to death.’”

Story credit: Reddit

Overheard Party Plans

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“I was drunk at a party and couldn't fathom the world so I lay down, closed my eyes in a dark room. I heard two of my friends come in, one came over to me and poked me in the ribs then said "It's fine, he's asleep." Then proceed to talk about how both of them were cheating on their boyfriends and who at the party they wanted to [sleep with].”

Story credit: Reddit / @System0falem0n

He Overheard Her Scary Threat

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“A French girl I met in a hostel came in to where I was sleeping and just sat there. I had just cut it off with her and I didn't want to deal with her, so I pretended to be asleep for a few minutes. She just mumbled random [stuff], she was pretty drunk. Finally what got me up was when, in the cutest french accent, she told me she was going to set me on fire in my sleep.”

Story credit: Reddit

Family Feuds

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“[I overheard] a screaming match involving the line "I want you to say one nice thing about my kids, ONE!" Followed by silence and doors slamming.”

Story credit: Reddit / @PM_ME_CHINCHILLA_PIC

Overheard Compliments

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“I had been sleeping on the couch in my CCA room in school and I heard my name just as I woke up so I stayed put to eavesdrop. A couple of mates were talking about me in a positive light and saying nice things about me without knowing I was awake. It was really nice to hear it especially since I was at a relatively low point at that time. Every time I think about this I feel good, even though it's been a half dozen years or so, and it always reminds me to uphold those good characteristics.”

Story credit: Reddit / @tunesofmisery

His Mom Knew He Was Faking

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“When I was a kid my mom would make my brother and me take naps for like 45 minutes. I pretended like I was sleeping, and I heard my mom talking on the phone to my grandma. During the conversation I assume my grandma asked what my brother and I were up to, because she said his brother is sleeping, and he is pretending to be asleep. I was like [ugh]. She said she knew I was faking because my mouth was closed, and whenever I'm actually asleep my mouth is slightly open. Ever since that day, whenever I'm pretending to be asleep for whatever reason, I keep my mouth slightly open. Thanks for the tip mom.”

Story credit: Reddit / @ImHully

Pulled Over By the Police While Napping

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“On my way back from a race in Colorado and my buddy got pulled over for speeding in Iowa. I was on the bench seat sprawled out trying to sleep, and when we pulled over I asked what's going on. "We're getting pulled over.” I promptly said you guys deal with that, I'm going to sleep. Pretended to be asleep and heard the cop go, “What’s up with your buddy? Is he okay?!" And give my friends a ton of crap for having me asleep in the back. The cop didn't try and wake me though.”

Story credit: Reddit / @sweeney669

Her Mom Said She Wanted to Get Rid of Her

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“My mom to her friend, when I was like 8, said, "I don't actually even like her. She's so annoying, I want to get rid of her."

Naturally I burst into tears. She said she was sorry, she knew I was awake, and it was just a joke. She's got a cruel sense of humor.”

Story credit: Reddit / @mypolarbear

It’s Hard to Pretend to Be Asleep

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“Every time I've tried it I ended up falling asleep for real.”

Story credit: Reddit

She Tried to Catch Them in the Act and Failed

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“Not me, but once during a sleepover in middle school this girl pretended to sleep to try and catch us saying bad things about her. We never did, we really liked her, but we did say "I wish Kathryn was still awake" at which point she snapped 'awake' and was all “Ha! You don't really love me!””

Story credit: Reddit

Christmas Eve Secrets

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“I remember way back I couldn't sleep on Christmas Eve, you know, being a little kid and all. So during this sleepless night where I guess my parents thought I was asleep, I heard my dad say "where do you think we should hide the new puppy?" That was pretty much at the top of my list, so naturally I was excited that I was getting a puppy. They talked for a good 20 minutes about the puppy, saying things like "how should we keep it from barking before he finds him?" before I dozed off.

Next morning, I discovered that my parents knew I was awake and just decided to [mess] with me. There was no puppy. I got a Gameboy though, so it wasn't too bad.”

Story credit: Reddit / @Ayatori

Your Boss Won’t Put Up With Fake Sleeping

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"Guess I need to fire that guy.”

Story credit: Reddit

A Cherished Moment With Mom 

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“When I was 6/7 I remember staying up late without the babysitter realizing whilst my parents were out. I remember when they came back home I was so worried about getting into trouble for still being awake that I pretended to be asleep. Mum came in the room asking whether or not I was awake (I stayed quiet) and then she just sat down on my bed. She was quiet for what felt like forever but was probably only a couple of minutes before she bent over, stroked my hair, and kissed the top of my head whilst telling me how much she loved me and how much I meant to her and then she tucked the covers around me tighter and left. To this day it's my favorite memory of her and one I've never shared with anyone.”

Story credit: Reddit / @FlyOnDreamWings

Overheard Sleepover Plotting

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“Pretended to be asleep at a sleepover, heard my supposed friends planning to throw my clothes in the tree. Middle school [sucked].”

Story credit: Reddit / @moonsprite

She Overheard War Stories

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“My mum did this once when a friend of her father came round to visit. She was tired and pretended to fall asleep on the sofa, cause she didn't want to be spoken to. Her father and his friend proceed to talk about the war (This is WW2 and they're Polish). This friend was sent to the border between Poland and Ukraine, and some villages were attacked by [neighboring] Ukrainians for some reason I'm still not sure about. He said they killed people by sawing them in half, and loads of other gruesome things she wouldn't tell me.”

Story credit: Reddit / @steerpike88

He Woke Up Just Long Enough to Make a Fool of Himself

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“Fell asleep on a table outside at a party, woke up but remained with head on table. Cute girl I was talking to earlier begins discussing me with my friend. Then says she considered getting off with me earlier but I kept passing out! I'm like yeah, let's get it on. Drunk me springs up and says 'well I'm soberer now' then passes out again. Informed by said friend of my idiocy the following day.”

Story credit: Reddit / @JanVertonghen5

She Overheard The Compliment of a Lifetime

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“During a short road trip with people I kind of liked but didn't consider close friends. I slept and woke up but I left my eyes closed to listen to music in case I'd be able to fall asleep again.

One of the girls in the car said: 'she looks like an angel when she sleeps'. This was the single most touching thing I have ever heard about myself. I don't consider myself a beautiful woman (pretty, funny, intelligent, but not beautiful) so hearing this made my day. [Heck], it made my decade! I didn't say anything, I just reveled in the moment and never forgot that wonderful thing that was said about me.”

Story credit: Reddit / @PumaPatty

Overheard Dinner Plans Became a Great Moment

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“Interesting because it was my friends trying to decide what food places they wanted to eat at while I was napping - we went out for breakfast, I went to crash for a couple of hours while they hung out in the living room. All I heard them talk about was which place they'd want to eat at then the best thing ''lets wait until she's up, she's probably hungry again'' made me smile because A)they were dope enough to not leave me and B) they understood my love for eating. Needless to say within 5 minutes I walked in pretending I'd just woken up.”

Story credit: Reddit / @SteamZ90

They Overheard Santa On Christmas Eve

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“When I was 8, on Christmas Eve I overheard Santa eating the cookies and drinking the milk. Later he opened the fridge and ate a large chunk of a cake and ran around the living room smearing the cake everywhere. Santa was our dog.”

Story credit: Reddit

He Pretended to Sleep While His Friends Made Out

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“Two of my good friends, a guy and a girl, and I were all sleeping in a water bed after a hard night of drinking. Now everyone knew that she was head over heels for him but he always told me that he didn't think of her like that. So I didn't think it was a big deal all passing out in same bed. I woke up, water bed remind you, to those two making out and some possible heavy petting I'd guess. I was stuck. Wake up and ruin something or pretend to sleep and hope it didn't escalate. I chose the latter. Didn't escalate, I was the best man at their wedding and now they have two children.”

Story credit: Reddit / @Bruggie

She Heard Her Boyfriend Talking About Her 

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“I wasn't pretending, I had been asleep for about 30 minutes while my boyfriend and his buddy were smoking. I'm not really sure what woke me up but I kind of became conscious for a few moments but didn't really move or anything so I was just trying to go back to sleep. Anyway, my boyfriend, who had been rubbing my back as I slept, turned to his buddy and said "Hey man, you see this girl right here? I'm gonna marry her one day. She's gonna be my wife." And his buddy just says "yeah dude, I know. And I'll be standing right there with you when it happens."

It was so sweet and it was so hard to not just tear up or smile or anything. But when things are tough I sure do think of that night.”

Story credit: Reddit / @Totally_Not_Anna

She Caught a Burglar By Accident

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“I didn't necessarily overhear anything but I pretended to fall asleep when I was about 12 because I heard someone coming into the room that my younger sister and I shared and thought it was my mom who would yell at me for being on my iPod at 2am. Turns out it was a robber (with a crowbar), he just peeked into the room and went out when he saw us in there. Really glad I didn't realize until the next morning who it was - I have no idea how I would have reacted if I’d realized some strange man was in my room at 2am.”

Story credit: Reddit / @coldheartsthru

The Cops Pulled Over a Sleeping Driver

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“One night during high school, my friend and I got invited to a party. I didn't drive back then so my friend picked me up. All went well on our way to the party. On the way back however, he got pulled over. As we were pulling to the side of the road, I told him that I was gonna pretend to be sleeping (since I was the passenger). Anyway, I hear the cop get out of his cop car, walk towards our car, stops at the window but doesn't say anything. I can feel the brightness of his flashlight but I don't hear him or my friend say anything. After about what seemed like an eternity, I decide to open my eyes to see what's going on. That's when I see my friend, the guy who is driving, is pretending like he is sleeping too.

So after my initial internal "[oh no]” moment, the cop, who was obviously messing with us, apologized for waking us up and asked us to step out of the car. He never said but I’m sure he suspected us of being under the influence, which we weren't (my friend and I were just being dumb kids, him more so than me obviously). We fully cooperated and since we weren't out past curfew, we were soon on our way.

The reason the cops pulled us over? My friends car had a busted tail light. I asked him what did he hope to accomplish by pretending to be sleep-driving, to which he replied that he thought I had a smart idea and he should do what I did. He'll probably be glad to know that his most embarrassing moment is now my highest rated comment on Reddit.”

Story credit: Reddit / @Puppetz1287

Late Night College Routine

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“Back in my freshman year at college my roommate would go to the gym late at night and he would text me when he was heading back home. I'd try to hop in bed then because if we got to talking when he was back, we'd be up for hours. Once or twice a week this would happen where he would get back to a dark room with me looking like I was asleep (when in reality I was just laying down with my eyes shut, trying to get to sleep). He would unpack his stuff and kind of talk to himself a bit occasionally saying weird stuff about how peaceful I looked. He'd get in his bed and hop on his laptop and start browsing reddit and he'd usually be whispering "Oh what the fuck?" on and off for about a half hour before I'd get tired of it and make a loud chicken noise. Without fail it would scare the shit out of him and he'd laugh and get off of his computer and go to bed.”

Story credit: Reddit / @ghostphantom

She Overheard Heartbreaking News

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“When I was about 13 or 14 (not that long ago), I overheard my parents talk about my dog, Chowder.

I was in the living room half passed out from exhaustion while they were in the dining area. Chowder was in the vet for a couple of days because of something called distemper. I just thought that after a few days, he'd get better and go back home and be the normal dog he would be. I was wrong.

I lay motionless on the sofa because I was lazy to get up. I accidentally heard mom crying. I heard words like "What will we tell her?" and "She can't know this before her exams... she might not do well." By this time, I got really curious so I tried my best to stay awake while staying in the uncomfortable position that I was in.

A few other medical terms passed and I hear the word, "euthanize." I knew what that meant and it took me a few seconds to put the pieces together. I cried the whole night and they found out in the morning.

So there... not really interesting, just heartbreaking.”

Story credit: Reddit / @notcrowley

Early Morning Family Fighting

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“When I was 14, I went on a Caribbean cruise with my mom, grandma, aunt, and cousin. I was sharing a room with my mom and grandma, and one morning I woke up to them arguing and my mom crying. I pretended to be asleep because it would have been extremely awkward to just get out of bed in the middle of all that. My mom was calling my grandma out on all of the times she abandoned her and her brother and sister during their childhood (which was quite a few times). It was something that I kind of knew about before, but the stuff that my mom was saying to my grandma was just insane. My grandma denied none of it, but tried to absolve responsibility.”

Story credit: Reddit

Overheard Family Christmas Plans

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“My Grandpa walked into the hallway and my bedroom door was open. I saw him peek in and as he did I shut my eyes and overheard this convo with my mom.

"If Santa doesn't eat the cookies then he will think that he didn't come."

"But he got presents so he knows Santa came."

"You just want the cookies."

"Well who did we leave them for?."

"You take 3 and I'll take 2."

"I don't want 3."

"Just take 3 or I'll take 4."

"No, No, No.””

Story credit: Reddit / @iownablender

If You’re Smart, You Can Sleep In Class

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“In a high school biology course I was trying to go to sleep after finishing an assignment early, the girl beside me asks the teacher "Why can he sleep in class?" the teacher tells her "I could wake him with a test on his desk and he would ace it."

Still makes me happy thinking about it.”

Story credit: Reddit / @PirateJazz

A Quiet Moment Turned Into a Relationship

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“I was 17 [years old], at school (I went to a really [bad] school that I loved and still do, where we wouldn't even need to be in class), we were outside of the classroom, with a couple of friends and it was cold, almost snowing in a place where it never snows. I was trying to sleep in a "friends" lap; I liked the dude, and I didn't know if he liked me. When he thought I was asleep he started to pet me, like touching my hair and my head in a very relaxed way while talking to the rest of our friends (he wasn't really affectionate in a physical way with anyone). He shushed them a couple of times so they wouldn't wake me up. Sweetest thing, never told him I heard him, or knew anything about that. Ended up having a relationship with him for two and a half years.”

Story credit: Reddit

Roommate Gripes at 3AM

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“Freshman year in college, I wake up at 3am to my roommate and her friend drunk whispering about me in the kitchen area. "She gets up too early, I hate how she doesn't go out on Fridays, so annoying," etc.

If you had a problem with me as a roommate, tell it to me straight. Preferably do this early in the semester, not the week before term ends, so that I can adjust my habits and be a better roommate.”

Story credit: Reddit / @thinkitsaredherring

No One Falls Asleep in a Gaming Chair

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“Not something interesting per se. 'Twas 3AM on a weekday and there I was destroying noobs on Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 with my school friends. Hallway light suddenly switches on. I hear footsteps getting louder and louder. I turn off my PS3 and jump into bed. I froze and pretended I fell asleep in the chair with my headphones on. Hear the voice of my Dad - "Pshh, yeah right.” He then proceeds to tickle me. Didn't end well.”

Story credit: Reddit / @damianmessenger

A Drunken Love Confession At a Party

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“I’m not the party-goer like my boyfriend is, so two years ago we went to his pal's evening of festivities, everyone was drunk except me. It was 1AM, which is super late for me so I found a comfy spot on the floor and began to drift off until my name came up in conversation. The girl I met earlier was telling my boyfriend how cute she thinks I am and my boyfriend goes off into one of his drunken spiels. He confesses his profound love for me to this complete stranger. It was still early in the relationship so he was scared of admitting any of this to me, but he gushed. He still doesn't know I know, he probably doesn't even remember, but I recall this being one of the most touching moments of my life. We're still going strong and just got engaged on Thursday.”

Story credit: Reddit / @smeder

They Made Fun of Her Dad While She Was Sleeping

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“I had a joint birthday party with another girl when I was still in elementary school because she chose to do hers on my actual birthday weekend (when her real birthday was a couple weeks before).

We went swimming and back to her place for a sleepover. After movies and all of that, for whatever reason, I pretended to fall asleep... shortly after, all of my friends started to talk about how much they didn't like my dad, and thought it was creepy that he was throwing everyone around in the pool.

Kinda broke my heart because my dad is a paraplegic and he had always done this with us in the pool because it was the only place that he really had the freedom to play with us like that.

Sad day.

I should add that it's been over a decade and not a single one of those girls ever forgets to ask me how my dad is or share fond memories of him with me from when we were growing up. Everyone loved my dad after it stopped being cool to have [fits] about everything and everyone.”

Story credit: Reddit / @julifra